Fynny jokes anyone please?!


Question: Fynny jokes anyone please!?
i just need a laugh!.!.thanksWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
well not a joke but, yesterday i got kicked in a really bad place by a donkyWww@Enter-QA@Com

EMBARRASSING??MEDICAL?EXAMS?????????????!.!.!.
?
1!. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her
baby in the cab!'?I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted
the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear!.Suddenly I
noticed that there were several cabs --and I was in the wrong one!.??
Dr!. Mark MacDonald,? San Francisco??
2!. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall!. 'Big breaths,' I instructed!.
'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient!.???
Dr!. Richard Byrnes,? Seattle , WA??
3!. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a
wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction!.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the
rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart!.'
Dr!. Susan Steinberg
?4!. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist,
he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his
medications!. 'Which one!?' I asked!. 'The patch, the nurse told me to put on a
new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had
?him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see!. Yes, the
man had over fifty patches on his body!? Now, the instructions include
removal of the old patch before applying a new one!.??
Dr!. Rebecca St!. Clair,? Norfolk , VA
?5!. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,
'How long have you been bedridden!?' After a look of complete
confusion she answered!. Why, not for about twenty years -
when my husband was alive!.'
Dr!. Steven Swanson,?Corvallis
6!. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking
up on a woman I asked, 'So how's your breakfast this morning!?' 'It's very
good, except for the Kentucky Jelly!. I can't seem to get used to the taste'
the patient replied!. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a
foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly!.'????
Dr!. Leonard Kransdorf,? Detroit , MI
??7!. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young
woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting
a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered!. It
was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so
she was scheduled for immediate surgery!. When she was
completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed
that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was
a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass!.' Once the surgery was
completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's
dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn'??
Submitted by RN no name
?AND FINALLY!!!!.!. !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. !.!.!.!.!.
??8!. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite
embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams!. To cover my
embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling
softly!. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this
exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me!. I
looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry!.!. Was I
tickling you!?' She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were
whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'!.???
Dr!. wouldn't submit his name
hope these made u smile!Www@Enter-QA@Com

The best way to cheer yourself up is to look up chuck norris jokes :)

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer!. Chuck Norris is always in control!.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise!.

also, if you want to watch something funny, go to youtube!.com and search the user livelavalive and watch some of his videos such as "snow day again"!. I guarantee you'll get a laugh out of at least one of them :)Www@Enter-QA@Com

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them!.
To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence!.
The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue"!.
The teacher said, "Well, that isnt entirely correct, because sometimes its gray and cloudy"!.

Another student says, "Grass is definitely green!."
The teacher again replies "If grass doesnt get enough water it turns brown, so that isnt really correct either!."

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps!?"
The teacher looked at him and said "No!.!.!.But that isnt really a question you want to ask in class discussion!."
So the student replies, "Then I definitely crapped my pants!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

A man and his eight year old grandson were outside the kid, digging in the dirt!. He comes across a worm and says to his G-pop, "G-pop, I bet you five bucks I can make this worm go back into it hole!."
Know full well that the worm is squishy, but humoring his G-son, he says " but g-son, it's all squishy and limp, but I'll take your bet"
The kid then runs upstairs and back down!. In hand was a bottle of hairspray!. He sprays down the worm and it gets stiff as a board and he fits the worm back into the hole!. Dumbfounded the g-pop hands him five bucks and take the hairspray back upstairs!. A few minutes later he comes back down and hands the kid another five!. "g-pop, you've already given me five remember"
"This is from your G-ma!."

here is a good website for some: http://www!.cs!.ucsb!.edu/~bcocosel/Jokes/S!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

There were 3 men in a waiting room at a hospital!.!.!.A nurse comes out and calls the first one in and says " congrats you wife gave twins" He said "thats funny i work for the twin towers" and he walks away!. The nurse calls the nect guy in a says "congrats your wife gave triplets" he said "thats funny i work for the triple A and he walks away the nurse is about to call the next guy ins and then he runs away!. The first man says "why you running away!?" the thrid man screams "I WORK FOR THE 31 FLAVORS OF BASKIN ROBBINS!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Bob was in trouble!. He forgot his wedding anniversary!. His wife was
really pissed!.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work!. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway!.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house!.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale!.

Bob has been missing since Friday!. Www@Enter-QA@Com

This is sort of mean but funny

So a little boy Johnny was born blind and every night when he got older he would pray for god to allow him to see!.!.

every day wake up and still he couldn't see!.!.!.then one night before bed his mom walks in and says johnny before you go to bed tonight pray extra hard because when you wake up in the morning you will be able to see!.!.


The boy got really excited an prayed his heart out !.!.!.the next morning his mom comes in and wakes him up and says do you have your eyes closed he says yes!.!.!.then the mom replies now count to 3 open and u will see

1,,,,,,2,,,,,,,3--opens his eyes

mom i still cant see johnny says

then his mom says april fools

Www@Enter-QA@Com

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her!? = They moved the furniture around!.
(or) They put the plunger in the toilet!.
~
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away!? = You would too if your name was "Arrageragdnusffttts!"
~
In just yelling about yo mamas and yo daddys =
I would've been your mama/daddy but the dog beat me up the stairs!.

I love jokes!Www@Enter-QA@Com

There's a little boy named Bill!. Bill asks his dad if he can take a shower with him!.
"Sure, Bill!. But whatever you do, DON'T LOOK DOWN!."
So they get in the shower!. Bill accidentally looks down!.
"Hey Dad, what's that!?" Bill asked!.
"Oh, that's my snake!."
So the next day, Bill asks his mom if he can shower with her!.
"Sure, Bill!. But whatever you do, DON'T LOOK UP OR DOWN!"
Bill accidentally looks up!.
"What are those!?" he asks!.
"Those are my light bulbs!."
He looks down!.
"What's that!?"
"That's my garden!."
So later, Bill walks into his parents room at night to ask for a glass of water!. When he walks in, he screams
"MOM, THERE'S A SNAKE IN YOUR GARDEN!"

-Haha, get it!?!?
Www@Enter-QA@Com

a teacher tells the students to come in the next day with something they found interesting at home!.

the next day when all this kids have the thing they found interesting, one little boy comes up and draws a dot on the chalkboard!.

"whats that!?" said the teacher!.
"a period" said the boy!.
"i see that!.!.but why is it special!?" asked the teacher

"i dont really know, but this morning my sister was missing one, my dad shot himself and mommy fainted"

oh heres another:

whats pink and fluffy!?

!.!.!.pink fluff

whats blue and fluffy!?


!.!.!.!.!.!.pink fluff holding its breath!.

What's read and bad for your teeth!?


!.!.!.!.!.A BRICK!.


where does the general keep his armies!?!?

!.!.!.!.UP HIS SLEEVIES!

Oh, and here's a yo momma joke!.!.!.no offense to anybodies mama!.

Yo mama is so ugly we pushed her fave into cookie dough to make gorilla cookies!

when your mama goes to the beach the whales start singing "we are family~"Www@Enter-QA@Com

haha, me and friend made this 1!. better if you hear it out loud!.!.
ok! here it goes:

me: dude why they call you pato (duck)!?
him: idk!?
me: oh well im Dr!. Patotastico!
him:hahah what!?
me: hey imagine this!! im your joke writer!.!. and your the comedian named PATO, so!.!.!. when youre on stage you'll wear a duck beak!
him:hahaha, yea
me: here how it goes when youre done!.!. "the crowd was blown away by pato's perfermance!!, he later sufficated in the duck beak!. he was rushed to the hospital and was pernounced dead at the scene"
him:hahaha, and you get rich off the money i made right!?
me:hell yea!

honestly!.!. you had to be there in person!. we were laughing so hard!.!.!. Www@Enter-QA@Com

An expedition was doing some digging in Vienna !. All of a sudden , the work stopped when the men undug Beethoven's grave !. , and they saw a little old man busily erasing papers !. The leader yelled down " Hey , Beethoven , what are you doing !? Beethoven replied " don't bother me , can't you see I'm decomposing !? "

Oh , come on , was it that bad !? Www@Enter-QA@Com

knock knock!.!.!.!.who's there!?!.!.!.!.boo!.!.!.boo who!.!.!.!.there's no need to cry, its just a joke!. lol, I know its corny, and old, and lame, but it works for me!. It's better than the abc kfc crap joke!. If you want some really good ones google it!. Or try jokeyard!.com, or funnyjunk!.com!. Www@Enter-QA@Com

Stupid Pick up lines

If i could rearrange the alphabet i'd put U and I together!.
Are you from Tennessee cuz your the only 10 i see
Do you have a map cuz I got lost i your eyes!.
Heres a lame one!.!.!.!.are you a locksmith cuz you have the key to my heart!.

Please answer mine!.!.!.!.
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

This lady is standing at a bus stop and a gust of wind blows up her skirt and this british guy next to her says "a bit airy isn't it" and she says "what were you expecting feathers"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

go to www!.google!.com

type in "chuck norris search" in the search box

instead of hitting "search the web" click on "im feeling lucky"

LAUGHWww@Enter-QA@Com

why dont they let mexicans ice skate!?
because they start making raspados

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

A kid asked his dad if god was a girl or a boy, he said both!. The kid asked later if god was black or white, he said both!. The kid asked later if god was micheal jackson!? xDDWww@Enter-QA@Com

Here is a funny video:http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=YVwUaKkFK!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

TWO BLONDES WERE DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD THE BLOND DRIVING LOOKS AT HER FRIEND IN THE PASSENGER SEAT AND ASKS HER TO SEE IF HER BLINKER IS WORKING SO THE BLOND LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW AND SAYS YES NO YES NOWww@Enter-QA@Com

No offense to blonds just repeating a joke I heard earlier today:



What is the smartest type of BLONDE!?



A golden retriever!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.











Www@Enter-QA@Com

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road!? Because he didn't have the guts! HA!Www@Enter-QA@Com

why did the chicken cross the road !?
cuz there was this reall yhot chik on the other side and he was lonely!.!.!.get over itWww@Enter-QA@Com

Have you ever smelled moth balls!?!?
(only if yes)
howd you get their little legs open!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

A butcher took a break and backed up into his meat grinder and!.!.!.!.!.!.

!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.



!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

got a little behind in his workWww@Enter-QA@Com

a horse walks into a bar, bartender say "hey, why the long face!?" (lmao)Www@Enter-QA@Com

Hotter than a VCR in a CRACKHOUSE!.!.

STOLEN GOODS!.!. =)


Www@Enter-QA@Com

Your momma so FAT, I've asked her do she know her ABC's, she said "No, but I know my KFC's!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR DO OLD PEOPLE WEAR!?!?!?!?




DEPENDS!!!!!!!!!!

Www@Enter-QA@Com

How do you get an Ohio State grad off your front porch!?
A: Pay for the pizzaWww@Enter-QA@Com



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