An elderly couple were on a cruise ?!


Question: An elderly couple were on a cruise !?
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning!. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear!?' Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear!?' She pulled it out and stared at it!.
Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing!. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid!.'





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When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea!.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea!.' Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big **** he always was!.'





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An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy!. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard!. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something!. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat!. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean!. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 !. Please advise!.' The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!.'





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A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away!. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket !. They hear a faint moan!. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies!. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket!. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'





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When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out!. I stopped and asked her what was wrong!. She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home!. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee!.'
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying!?' She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon!.

I said, 'Well, why are you crying!?' She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a!.m!. ' I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying!?' She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades!. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures!. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards!.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me!.!.!.!.I know we've been friends for a long time!.!.!.!.!.but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it!. Please tell me what your name is!.' Her friend glared at her!. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her!. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know!?'





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THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference!.





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Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10!.
Oh, send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!. Then something is supposed to happen !. !. I think!.








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Answers:
As I'm an OAP I can relate to these tales [lol] and thankfully, I still have my sense of humour!. Thanks for the laugh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Well, i'm having to copy these for the mother in law (again) to tell her friends at her Thursday club (OAP) She swears she's made all the jokes up herself!! Gold stars for you!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.plus a big thank you from Betty (mother in law) lol! Hahahahaha!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

very ageist but funny nevertheless!Www@Enter-QA@Com

They were all very funny and I had only heard the second joke before (oddly enough on here) and they were all a good laugh!. Thanks for sharing with us!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

LOL these were good!.
We'll all be like this one day - I think I'm already halfway there cos I can never remember anyone's name!Www@Enter-QA@Com

nice ones!Www@Enter-QA@Com

LMAO They were great!. Thanks for the laugh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

lol very good love the old ppl jokes lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

got better as they went along!. thanks
Www@Enter-QA@Com

goodWww@Enter-QA@Com

Oh so this is what I have to look forward to!.!.!.!.!.!.!.GOOD GRIEF!.!.!.

funnny star for you!.!.!.*Www@Enter-QA@Com

An old man in a nursing home comes up to an old woman and says, "It's my birthday next week!. Guess how old I'll be!." She looks him up and down and says, "Drop your pants and I can tell you!." The old man is surprised, but looks around and no one else in in the area, so he drops his trousers!. The old woman takes a good long look at his privates and then says, "You'll be 87!."

"That's right! How did you know!?"

"You told me so yesterday!."Www@Enter-QA@Com



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