Whats the funniest joke you know or funniest story?!
Question: Whats the funniest joke you know or funniest story!?
whoever has the best one will get the 10 points!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Cowboy walks into the bar
A cowboy walks into a bar and after two steps in, he realizes it's a gay Bar!.
What the heck,' he says to himself, 'I really want a drink!.'
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, 'What's the name of your manhood!?'
The cowboy says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that!. All I want is a Drink!.'
The gay waiter says, 'I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you Tell me the name of your willy!. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the Slogan 'Just Do It!.'
That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It Really Satisfies!.'
The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over!.
So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, 'Hey bud, what's the name of yours!?'
The man looks back and says with a smile, 'TIMEX!.'
The thirsty cowboy asks, 'Why Timex!?'
The fella proudly replies, 'Cause it takes a lickin and keeps on Tickin!'
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who Happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, 'So, what do you guys call yours!?'
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, 'FORD, because 'Quality is Job One'!.' Then he adds, 'Have you driven a Ford lately!?' The guy next to him then says, 'I call mine CHEVY!.!.!.!.!.'Like a Rock!'!.!.!. And gives a wink!
Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood!.
Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims,'The name of my willy is SECRET!. Now give me a beer!.'
The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, 'Why Secret!?'
The cowboy says, 'Because it's' STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A cowboy walks into a bar and after two steps in, he realizes it's a gay Bar!.
What the heck,' he says to himself, 'I really want a drink!.'
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, 'What's the name of your manhood!?'
The cowboy says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that!. All I want is a Drink!.'
The gay waiter says, 'I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you Tell me the name of your willy!. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the Slogan 'Just Do It!.'
That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It Really Satisfies!.'
The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over!.
So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, 'Hey bud, what's the name of yours!?'
The man looks back and says with a smile, 'TIMEX!.'
The thirsty cowboy asks, 'Why Timex!?'
The fella proudly replies, 'Cause it takes a lickin and keeps on Tickin!'
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who Happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, 'So, what do you guys call yours!?'
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, 'FORD, because 'Quality is Job One'!.' Then he adds, 'Have you driven a Ford lately!?' The guy next to him then says, 'I call mine CHEVY!.!.!.!.!.'Like a Rock!'!.!.!. And gives a wink!
Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood!.
Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims,'The name of my willy is SECRET!. Now give me a beer!.'
The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, 'Why Secret!?'
The cowboy says, 'Because it's' STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A preachers wife goes into a butcher shop and asks the Butcher what he had on sale!. The man replies!.!."Well Mam I have a great deal on dam steak!" The wife becomes upset and yells to the butcher "YOU CANT SAY THAT WORD!.!.I am a preachers wife!" He says no no that is the name of the steak we picked some up down by the dam!. She replies "oh ok well then give me a few pounds"
Later that evening the preacher arrives home and asks whats for dinner!. she replies "Dam Steak" The preacher shouts YOU CANT SAY THAT I AM A PREACHER!.!. The wife explains and they continue on to dinner!.
At the table the preacher asks his son "son can you pass me the dam steak!?" the son excitedly replies!.!."WELL OK DAD!!!! PASS ME THE ******** POTATOES Www@Enter-QA@Com
Later that evening the preacher arrives home and asks whats for dinner!. she replies "Dam Steak" The preacher shouts YOU CANT SAY THAT I AM A PREACHER!.!. The wife explains and they continue on to dinner!.
At the table the preacher asks his son "son can you pass me the dam steak!?" the son excitedly replies!.!."WELL OK DAD!!!! PASS ME THE ******** POTATOES Www@Enter-QA@Com
A man was really worried about his wife, who wasn't hearing very well lately!. He thought she needed a hearing aid, but couldn't directly confront her, as it would've broken her heart !.
So, he decides to have a secret meeting with the family doctor!. He explains his concern to the doctor!. The doctor said, "Don't worry!. There is an informal test you can perform to see how sick she really is, without her noticing you!. You go home and with a clear normal voice say something to her from a distance!. If she hears you, then she's fine!. If not, get closer and and ask her again!. Repeat this until she hears you!. Approach her by ten feet!."
The man goes home!. While the wife was cooking dinner in the kitchen, the man asks her from the den, which was about 40 feet away, "Honey, what are you making for dinner!?" but he gets no response!. So, he approaches her, and the distance now is 30 feet!. He asks the same question, "Honey, what's for dinner!?" but again he gets no response!. The man now is at the kitchen door, 20 feet away from her and asks the following, "Honey, what's for dinner!?" But no answer seemed to be coming!. Now he enters the kitchen, and at distance of only ten feet away from her he asks the question, "Honey, what's for dinner!?" Again, no answer at all!. Finally, he goes right behind her, and says the following to her ear, "Honey, what for dinner!?" Then, the wife says, "John, for the fifth damn time - CHICKEN!"
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So, he decides to have a secret meeting with the family doctor!. He explains his concern to the doctor!. The doctor said, "Don't worry!. There is an informal test you can perform to see how sick she really is, without her noticing you!. You go home and with a clear normal voice say something to her from a distance!. If she hears you, then she's fine!. If not, get closer and and ask her again!. Repeat this until she hears you!. Approach her by ten feet!."
The man goes home!. While the wife was cooking dinner in the kitchen, the man asks her from the den, which was about 40 feet away, "Honey, what are you making for dinner!?" but he gets no response!. So, he approaches her, and the distance now is 30 feet!. He asks the same question, "Honey, what's for dinner!?" but again he gets no response!. The man now is at the kitchen door, 20 feet away from her and asks the following, "Honey, what's for dinner!?" But no answer seemed to be coming!. Now he enters the kitchen, and at distance of only ten feet away from her he asks the question, "Honey, what's for dinner!?" Again, no answer at all!. Finally, he goes right behind her, and says the following to her ear, "Honey, what for dinner!?" Then, the wife says, "John, for the fifth damn time - CHICKEN!"
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Two blonde models sharing an apartment, both drives little red sport cars!. The first blonde forgets to put her car under the shelter and leaves it parked at the curb all night!. A hail storm hits and beats little dings all over the little car!. She is so upset she is in tears when she sees what happened!.
The second blonde comes down and sees her friend crying and the little battered car!. She is smarter than the average blonde and tries to sooth her friend!. "Take it down to the garage and get an estimate on repairs," she tells the first blonde!.
The first blonde perks right up and happily drives to the garage!. The mechanic sees her as she slides out of the little beat up car and decides to see if all the blonde jokes have any real basis!.
"Oh, Mr!. Mechanic, can you tell me how much it will cost to fix my car!?," she asks up at him with big innocent eyes!.
He walks around the little car rubbing his chin thoughtfully!. Finally he turned to her!. "I can fix it for about $3500 or it could cost you nothing," he told her!.
That evening, as the sun was setting, the second blonde comes down and saw her friend on her hands and knees behind the little car!. "What on earth are you doin!?!", she exclaimed!.
The first blonde got to her feet dusting her hards off!. "The mechanic told me how to fix my car for nothing," she beamed happily!.
"But what are you doing on your hands and knees!?!", the second blonde wanted to know!.
"The mechanic told me if I left my car out in the sun all day and then blow into the tailpipe that all the dents would just pop right out," the first blonde explained with a big smile!. "I'm having a little trouble though," she frowned!. "I've been blowing for half an hour and the dents are still there!."
"Of course they're still there!", the second blonde almost yelled at her friend!. "Blondes like you are the reason all these blonde jokes are going around! Of course it's not going to work! Any idiot will know that! You left the windows down!!"
(NO OFFENSE ENTENDED TOWARD BLONDES)Www@Enter-QA@Com
The second blonde comes down and sees her friend crying and the little battered car!. She is smarter than the average blonde and tries to sooth her friend!. "Take it down to the garage and get an estimate on repairs," she tells the first blonde!.
The first blonde perks right up and happily drives to the garage!. The mechanic sees her as she slides out of the little beat up car and decides to see if all the blonde jokes have any real basis!.
"Oh, Mr!. Mechanic, can you tell me how much it will cost to fix my car!?," she asks up at him with big innocent eyes!.
He walks around the little car rubbing his chin thoughtfully!. Finally he turned to her!. "I can fix it for about $3500 or it could cost you nothing," he told her!.
That evening, as the sun was setting, the second blonde comes down and saw her friend on her hands and knees behind the little car!. "What on earth are you doin!?!", she exclaimed!.
The first blonde got to her feet dusting her hards off!. "The mechanic told me how to fix my car for nothing," she beamed happily!.
"But what are you doing on your hands and knees!?!", the second blonde wanted to know!.
"The mechanic told me if I left my car out in the sun all day and then blow into the tailpipe that all the dents would just pop right out," the first blonde explained with a big smile!. "I'm having a little trouble though," she frowned!. "I've been blowing for half an hour and the dents are still there!."
"Of course they're still there!", the second blonde almost yelled at her friend!. "Blondes like you are the reason all these blonde jokes are going around! Of course it's not going to work! Any idiot will know that! You left the windows down!!"
(NO OFFENSE ENTENDED TOWARD BLONDES)Www@Enter-QA@Com
What Do I Look Like!?
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house!. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it!?"
The husband just looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like, Mr!.Plumber!?”
A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery!. Could you change it for me!?"
"What do I look like, Mr!.Good wrench!?" was his response!. Another couple of weeks go by, and it's raining pretty hard!. His wife then finds a leak in the roof!. She pleads with him as he's walking through the door!. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it!?"
He just looked at her and said "What do I look like, Bob Vila!?" and sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV!.
One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone! Speaking of leaks, he also went to take a shower, and he found that the one pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either!.
His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks, and the car's running!?"
She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon!. What a nice man!. He came over and fixed everything!." "Wow, did he charge us anything!?" asked the husband!. "No, he just said that he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him" she said!.
"Cool!. What kind of cake did you make!?" asked the husband!. "Cake!? What the hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker!? Www@Enter-QA@Com
hellen keller walked into a bar!?
knock knock
whos there!?
ANUHNUHmehhh!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
knock knock
whos there!?
ANUHNUHmehhh!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com