Funniest joke wins...!?!
Question: Funniest joke wins!.!.!.!!?
Tell me a funny joke!.!. funniest joke wins!.!.
must be funny
nd gotta be a story-ish joke ( cant remember what there called right now)
NOT like a knock knock joke!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
must be funny
nd gotta be a story-ish joke ( cant remember what there called right now)
NOT like a knock knock joke!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Lila died and went to heaven where she was greeted by St!. Peter!. St Peter showed her around and Lila noticed strange-looking items that looked like clocks all over the place!. Curious, she asked, "St!. peter, what are these!?"
St!. peter: Lying-detectors!. Whenever someone lies, his detector's hand moves!.
She noticed one that didn't move and asked, "Wow, whose is this!?"
"Mother Teresa's!."
As an American, she was curious about her president's detector, "Where's Bush's!?"
"Oh, it's not here!. It's in Jesus's office, he uses it as a fan"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
St!. peter: Lying-detectors!. Whenever someone lies, his detector's hand moves!.
She noticed one that didn't move and asked, "Wow, whose is this!?"
"Mother Teresa's!."
As an American, she was curious about her president's detector, "Where's Bush's!?"
"Oh, it's not here!. It's in Jesus's office, he uses it as a fan"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
JIGSAW PUZZLE
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me!. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started!.
" Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished!?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger!."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle!. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table!.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger!."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax!. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the boxWww@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me!. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started!.
" Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished!?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger!."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle!. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table!.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger!."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax!. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the boxWww@Enter-QA@Com
a man was driving one late night when suddenly the engine stopped!. he looked around and saw total darkness!. he took out his flashlight, went out to check the engine, he saw no problem with it, he just had his tank full!. then a hermit emerged from behind him!. the hermit offered him a book for one thousand pesos!. though hesitating,he bought the book and before leaving the hermit reminded him not to read the last page or else he will regret!.
that night the man cannot sleep!.
he took the book, turned to the last page!.
there it was written
National Bookstore
47 pesos
Www@Enter-QA@Com
that night the man cannot sleep!.
he took the book, turned to the last page!.
there it was written
National Bookstore
47 pesos
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A man and his pet monkey walk into a bar, and take a seat!. The man orders a drink for himself and starts watching the t!.v!. located behind the bar!. After a couple of minutes the bartender interrupts him
"Excuse me sir - but your monkey is eating all of the peanuts"
"Oh sorry, he eats everything"
a few moments later -
"Sir, your monkey just ate the cue ball!!!!"
Frustrated because he can't watch the news anymore, the man grunts an apology and gathers the monkey up and leaves!.
A couple of weeks later, the bartender is disappointed to see the odd pair walk into the bar again!. Sure enough, the man takes the same seat and starts watching t!.v!. As before, a couple of minutes later the monkey jumps ontothe bar and heads for the bowl of cherries!.
Before the man could stop the monkey, it takes a cherry - sticks it up his fanny and smiles - pops it out and eats it!.
"Sir, Sir - your monkey just stuck a cherry up his fanny and then ate it!! WTF!?!"
the man replies -
"Oh!.!.!. yeah, ever since the cue ball - he checks to see if it will fit!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Excuse me sir - but your monkey is eating all of the peanuts"
"Oh sorry, he eats everything"
a few moments later -
"Sir, your monkey just ate the cue ball!!!!"
Frustrated because he can't watch the news anymore, the man grunts an apology and gathers the monkey up and leaves!.
A couple of weeks later, the bartender is disappointed to see the odd pair walk into the bar again!. Sure enough, the man takes the same seat and starts watching t!.v!. As before, a couple of minutes later the monkey jumps ontothe bar and heads for the bowl of cherries!.
Before the man could stop the monkey, it takes a cherry - sticks it up his fanny and smiles - pops it out and eats it!.
"Sir, Sir - your monkey just stuck a cherry up his fanny and then ate it!! WTF!?!"
the man replies -
"Oh!.!.!. yeah, ever since the cue ball - he checks to see if it will fit!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face!.
"Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, mommy!?" he
asked!.
"To stay pretty for daddy," said his mother!.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with
a tissue!.
"What's the matter mommy!?" asked Little Johnny!. "Giving up!?"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, mommy!?" he
asked!.
"To stay pretty for daddy," said his mother!.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with
a tissue!.
"What's the matter mommy!?" asked Little Johnny!. "Giving up!?"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
this guy is really fat, so he goes to the doctor and the doctor puts him on a diet, "eat for two days, then skip the third day, and at the end of the month, come back to me!."
a month later, the guy comes back and he looks really great!.
the doc asks "did you follow my diet!?"
"yeah," the man answers "but i gotta tell you!. every third day, i felt like i was gonna die!."
DOC: "from hunger!?"
MAN: "no!. from skipping!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
a month later, the guy comes back and he looks really great!.
the doc asks "did you follow my diet!?"
"yeah," the man answers "but i gotta tell you!. every third day, i felt like i was gonna die!."
DOC: "from hunger!?"
MAN: "no!. from skipping!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
WHO IS JACK SCHITT!?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt!?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way!. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt!. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, who married O!. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N!. Schitt, Inc!. They had one son, Jack!. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt!. The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Gi va Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt!.Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout!. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced!. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name!. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock!.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt!. Two of the other six children,
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony!. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials!. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse!. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world!. He came home with his Italian wife; Piza Schitt
By Crock O Schit
Www@Enter-QA@Com
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt!?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way!. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt!. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, who married O!. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N!. Schitt, Inc!. They had one son, Jack!. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt!. The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Gi va Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt!.Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout!. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced!. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name!. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock!.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt!. Two of the other six children,
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony!. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials!. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse!. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world!. He came home with his Italian wife; Piza Schitt
By Crock O Schit
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here!?"
Haha lame number 1!.
Bacon and eggs walks into a bar and asks "Do you serve breakfast!?"
Haha lame number 2!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Haha lame number 1!.
Bacon and eggs walks into a bar and asks "Do you serve breakfast!?"
Haha lame number 2!.Www@Enter-QA@Com