Little Johnny jokes!?!
Question: Little Johnny jokes!!?
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things!.
Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head!? he asked his mother!.
He thinks a lot, replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a
good answer to her husband's baldness!.
Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, So why do you have so
much hair!?
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
One day Little Johnny says to his father:
I want to get married!.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind!?
Johnny: Yes , Gradma!.
Father: What!? There is a problem now, you want to marry my mother!?
Johnny: Why not!? You married my mother!.
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses!. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up!. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny!?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby!. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears!. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby!.
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby!. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors!.
He said, "Now, son!.!.!.that poor baby was born without any ears!. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home!.""I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny!.
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand!. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny!." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet!. Why!.!.!. just look at his pretty little eyes!. Did his doctor say he can see good!?"
The Mother said, "Why, yes!.!.!. his doctor said he has 20/20 vision!."
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Teacher: "Johnny, give me a sentence starting with 'I'"
Little Johnny: "I is!.!.!."
Teacher: "No, Little Johnny!. Always say 'I am!.'"
Little Johnny: "All right!. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet!."
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board!. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head!? he asked his mother!.
He thinks a lot, replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a
good answer to her husband's baldness!.
Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, So why do you have so
much hair!?
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
One day Little Johnny says to his father:
I want to get married!.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind!?
Johnny: Yes , Gradma!.
Father: What!? There is a problem now, you want to marry my mother!?
Johnny: Why not!? You married my mother!.
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses!. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up!. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny!?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby!. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears!. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby!.
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby!. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors!.
He said, "Now, son!.!.!.that poor baby was born without any ears!. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home!.""I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny!.
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand!. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny!." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet!. Why!.!.!. just look at his pretty little eyes!. Did his doctor say he can see good!?"
The Mother said, "Why, yes!.!.!. his doctor said he has 20/20 vision!."
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Teacher: "Johnny, give me a sentence starting with 'I'"
Little Johnny: "I is!.!.!."
Teacher: "No, Little Johnny!. Always say 'I am!.'"
Little Johnny: "All right!. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet!."
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board!. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
LOL Great joke!
Heres some more you might like:
Little Johnny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs!?!."
The teacher answered "Why do you ask that!?"
Johnny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs!."
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little J was sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) J o h n ny !?"
The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says " I bet you want a (spelled out ) b i k e !?"
Little Jimmys eyes light up and he asks "How'd you know that !?"
Santa replied "Because I'm Santa I know everything"!.
Little Jimmy gets a funny look in his eye and says "I bet you like (spells out ) g i r l s !?"
Santa says "Yes, how'd you know that !?" The boy says " Beacause your finger smells like P U S S Y !"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom!. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use!?"
"The correct word would be urinate!."
"Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence!?"
Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny was doing his math homework!. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a b***h is seven!. Three plus six, that son of a b***h is nine!."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing!?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework!."
" And this is how your teacher taught you to do it!?" the mother asked!. "Yes," he answered!.
Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class!?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition!." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b***h is four!?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four!."
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours!. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean!?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing
first!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies!?"
"No," says his mom, "of course not!."
Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,
"It's okay, we can play that game again!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects!?"
Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Heres some more you might like:
Little Johnny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs!?!."
The teacher answered "Why do you ask that!?"
Johnny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs!."
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little J was sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) J o h n ny !?"
The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says " I bet you want a (spelled out ) b i k e !?"
Little Jimmys eyes light up and he asks "How'd you know that !?"
Santa replied "Because I'm Santa I know everything"!.
Little Jimmy gets a funny look in his eye and says "I bet you like (spells out ) g i r l s !?"
Santa says "Yes, how'd you know that !?" The boy says " Beacause your finger smells like P U S S Y !"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom!. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use!?"
"The correct word would be urinate!."
"Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence!?"
Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny was doing his math homework!. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a b***h is seven!. Three plus six, that son of a b***h is nine!."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing!?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework!."
" And this is how your teacher taught you to do it!?" the mother asked!. "Yes," he answered!.
Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class!?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition!." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b***h is four!?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four!."
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours!. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean!?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing
first!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies!?"
"No," says his mom, "of course not!."
Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,
"It's okay, we can play that game again!"
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects!?"
Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
I hope you don't know that one!! I love Little Johnny jokes, thanks for sharing!. BTW, the 3rd one is hilarious, lol!.
Little Johnny does math!?
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic!.
"Why!?" asks the father!.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3!?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2!?'"
"What's the f&%#ing difference!?" asks the father!.
"That's what I said!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Little Johnny does math!?
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic!.
"Why!?" asks the father!.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3!?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2!?'"
"What's the f&%#ing difference!?" asks the father!.
"That's what I said!Www@Enter-QA@Com
HA HA HA HA~~!!!
YEAH THEY WERE BEEN AROUND EARLIER TOO BUT THEY ARE GOOD MEMORIES OF LITTLE JOHNNY ~~~!!!!! LOLZZZ
THANQ FOR THE RECET~~!!! Www@Enter-QA@Com
YEAH THEY WERE BEEN AROUND EARLIER TOO BUT THEY ARE GOOD MEMORIES OF LITTLE JOHNNY ~~~!!!!! LOLZZZ
THANQ FOR THE RECET~~!!! Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ha! Lmao at all of them!.!.!.I can't wait to tell those at work, except the one about the glasses !.!.that one was dullWww@Enter-QA@Com
All of them were good!lol thanks ,have a starWww@Enter-QA@Com
there all good but the 2nd one was the bestWww@Enter-QA@Com
the first 3 were goodWww@Enter-QA@Com
read them all before, on Yahoo!. but still they are funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
Seen all of these in the same order before!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.lol!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com