Funny jokes!!!!!!!!!!?!


Question: Funny jokes!!!!!!!!!!!?
101 Ways To Annoy People
1!. Sing the Batman theme incessantly!.

2!. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage!."

3!. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go!."

4!. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip!.!.!."

5!. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others!.

6!. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen!. <

7!. Speak only in a "robot" voice!.

8!. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly!.

9!. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub"!.

10!. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies!.

11!. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets!.

12!. Sniffle incessantly!.

13!. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles!.

14!. Name your dog "Dog!." 15!. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up!."

16!. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think!."

17!. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training!."

18!. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace"!.

19!. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot!."

20!. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol!.

21!. Practice making fax and modem noises!.

22!. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss!.

23!. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up!.

24!. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance!.

25!. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person!."

26!. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy!."

27!. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control!.

28!. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment!.

29!. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears!.

30!. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room!.

31!. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice!.

32!. Holler random numbers while someone is counting!.

33!. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way!."

34!. Drum on every available surface!.

35!. Staple papers in the middle of the page!.

36!. Ask 1-800 operators for dates!.

37!. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings!.

38!. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks!.

39!. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places!.

40!. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page!.

41!. Set alarms for random times!.

42!. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon!.

43!. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving!.

44!. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise!.

45!. Honk and wave to strangers!.

46!. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange!.

47!. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show!.

48!. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies!.

49!. Wear your pants backwards!.

50!. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register!.

51!. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52!. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE!.

53!. only type in lowercase!.

54!. dont use any punctuation either

55!. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets!.

56!. Pay for your dinner with pennies!.

57!. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes!.

58!. Repeat everything someone says, as a question!.

59!. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps!.

60!. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O!.J Simpson conspiracy theories!.

61!. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that!?" "What!?" "Never mind, its gone now!."

62!. Light road flares on a birthday cake!.

63!. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley!.

64!. Leave tips in Bolivian currency!.

65!. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador!."

66!. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks!.

67!. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained!.

68!. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One!."

69!. As much as possible, skip rather than walk!.

70!. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read!.

71!. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it!.

72!. Try playing the WilliaWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Three brother bulls were standing around out in the field talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up!. First guy (lets call him Thor) said I want to be a rodeo bull!. They only work 8 secs!. a day and get to hang around with big, bad bulls and travel from rodeo to rodeo!. If you get real mean you could become a celebrity!. Next bull (lets call him Percy) said I want to become the prettiest bull around and be a show bull!. Talk about spoiled, they brush you, wash you, clean up your bull shi*, they keep you in the best stables and transports, and you win ribbons and trophies!. The last guy (lets call him just plain Bill) and he says when I grow up I want to become!.!.!.sorry see #19 above!. Ah geez what that again!. It's really great and I know you would laugh!. Mmm let me think!.

Ok, I'll let you off the hook and by the way your stuff was funny!. Bill says "I think I'll just hang around the farm and help Dad"!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Two cannibals were conversing over dinner - one cannibal says to the other "god I hate my mother in law" the other cannibal says
"well just eat the noodles"Www@Enter-QA@Com

20 should be done to some people!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

that was freakin hilarious!. my favs are 68, 45, 32, and I do sometimes wear a cape while doing kareokeWww@Enter-QA@Com

Beer
Helping Ugly People get Laid since 1853Www@Enter-QA@Com

I like 17 and 23 the best!. Www@Enter-QA@Com

Bravo! You made me smile! Star for you!.Www@Enter-QA@Com



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