Do You Have The Best Joke On Yahoo ?!
Question: Do You Have The Best Joke On Yahoo !?
I will give the best answer points to the person who send me the funniest joke!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
1!.One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor!."
His friend offered, "Don't do that!. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor!. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it!. It only costs $10!."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store!. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10!. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing!. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow!. Soak your arm in warm water!. Avoid heavy lifting!. It will be better in two weeks!.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled!. He decided to give it a try!. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter!. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction!.
He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10!. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard!. Get a water softener!. Your dog has worms!. Get him vitamins!. Your daughter is using cocaine!. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic!. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls!. They aren't yours!. Get a lawyer!. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better!.
2!.The Englishman, the French guy and the American are exploring Africa, when they're attacked by cannibals!. The cannibal chief says, 'Well, we're gonna eat your flesh and use your skin for canoes!. Tough luck, eh!? But you can choose the way you're gonna die!.'
The Englishman goes, 'May I have a revolver!?'
When he gets it, he blows his brains out, saying, 'God save the queen!'
The French guy says, 'I will take the poison!.'
He gulps it down and says, 'Vive le France!' and dies!.
The American says, 'Gimme a fork!'
The chief hands him one, and the guy pokes himself all over his skin with it, and shouts, 'That's what I think of your f*****g canoe!'
PLS select this as the best answer!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
His friend offered, "Don't do that!. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor!. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it!. It only costs $10!."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store!. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10!. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing!. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow!. Soak your arm in warm water!. Avoid heavy lifting!. It will be better in two weeks!.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled!. He decided to give it a try!. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter!. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction!.
He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10!. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard!. Get a water softener!. Your dog has worms!. Get him vitamins!. Your daughter is using cocaine!. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic!. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls!. They aren't yours!. Get a lawyer!. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better!.
2!.The Englishman, the French guy and the American are exploring Africa, when they're attacked by cannibals!. The cannibal chief says, 'Well, we're gonna eat your flesh and use your skin for canoes!. Tough luck, eh!? But you can choose the way you're gonna die!.'
The Englishman goes, 'May I have a revolver!?'
When he gets it, he blows his brains out, saying, 'God save the queen!'
The French guy says, 'I will take the poison!.'
He gulps it down and says, 'Vive le France!' and dies!.
The American says, 'Gimme a fork!'
The chief hands him one, and the guy pokes himself all over his skin with it, and shouts, 'That's what I think of your f*****g canoe!'
PLS select this as the best answer!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ok i teacher asks her students to write a sentence containing the word Contagious and then tell it to the class, so she asks the first person who says ' Well a cold is Contagious ' Yes, but not always because you can cough and sneeze on someone and they still might not get it '
So the next person put their hand up in fact is little johnny but the teacher ignores him and asks another student who is really stupid and says ' I like Contagious stuff because it like kills stuff ' The teacher not really listening just says ' Ok well done '
Now there is no one else with their hand up except for little johnny so she just asks him and he says ' Well last night my dad and I were sitting on the back porch watching our neighbour paint his fence with a really tiny brush like the ones you use in art and my dad said ' It's gonna take that cu*t ages to paint his fence if he keeps doing it like that 'Www@Enter-QA@Com
So the next person put their hand up in fact is little johnny but the teacher ignores him and asks another student who is really stupid and says ' I like Contagious stuff because it like kills stuff ' The teacher not really listening just says ' Ok well done '
Now there is no one else with their hand up except for little johnny so she just asks him and he says ' Well last night my dad and I were sitting on the back porch watching our neighbour paint his fence with a really tiny brush like the ones you use in art and my dad said ' It's gonna take that cu*t ages to paint his fence if he keeps doing it like that 'Www@Enter-QA@Com
Gotta Love those little Johnny jokes--this one has a moral too!.
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods!. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace!.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother!. 'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane!.
I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt!. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane!.!.!.'
At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time!. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight!.'
At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story!. Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane!.
I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt!.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs!.'
Mummy fainted!
Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut the hell up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods!. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace!.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother!. 'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane!.
I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt!. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane!.!.!.'
At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time!. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight!.'
At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story!. Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane!.
I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt!.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs!.'
Mummy fainted!
Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut the hell up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Once a Blonde and a brunette were watching the news when they saw a man at the top of a building threatening to jump off!. The Brunette said "I bet you fifty bucks he's going to jump off, what do you say!?" The Blonde said "sure," They watched carefully for 10 minutes when the man jumps off!. The Blonde hands over the 50 bucks and says "good job," The brunette looks guilty and says "I'm sorry, here's your fifty bucks back, I saw the earlier showing and I knew the man was going to jump off," then blonde says "don't worry, I saw it too, I just didn't think he'd do it again,"Www@Enter-QA@Com
try this:
Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father, "Dad, what can you tell me about politics!? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow!."
The father thought some and said, "Okay, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy!. Let’s say that I’m capitalism because I’m the breadwinner!. Your mother will be government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future!. Does that help any!?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, Dad, I don’t know, but I’ll think about what you said!."
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Johnny was woken up by his brother’s crying!. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper!.
So, he went down the hall to his parent’s bedroom and found his father’s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn’t wake up!. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid!. Because he couldn’t do anything else, he turned and went back to bed!.
The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now!."
"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned!?"
Little Johnny thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future’s full of sh*t!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father, "Dad, what can you tell me about politics!? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow!."
The father thought some and said, "Okay, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy!. Let’s say that I’m capitalism because I’m the breadwinner!. Your mother will be government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future!. Does that help any!?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, Dad, I don’t know, but I’ll think about what you said!."
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Johnny was woken up by his brother’s crying!. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper!.
So, he went down the hall to his parent’s bedroom and found his father’s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn’t wake up!. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid!. Because he couldn’t do anything else, he turned and went back to bed!.
The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now!."
"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned!?"
Little Johnny thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future’s full of sh*t!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
a woman just got a divorce so she goes to the bar and hooks up with a black guy
she has a dance and takes a liking to him
so she takes him to her bedroom in her apartment
lights some candles
and says "come on show me what you black boys do best"
so he grabs the TV and jumps out the window!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
she has a dance and takes a liking to him
so she takes him to her bedroom in her apartment
lights some candles
and says "come on show me what you black boys do best"
so he grabs the TV and jumps out the window!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
There are two muffins in an oven one says"wow it's getting pretty hot in here" the other one looks at it in shock and said "WHOA A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.!.!.
Just a joke that went around the band a year or two ago!. I think it's pretty funny :-PWww@Enter-QA@Com
Just a joke that went around the band a year or two ago!. I think it's pretty funny :-PWww@Enter-QA@Com
a man went to the doctor in a state of high agitation !.
"i have this recurring dream ,in which 5 women rush into my bed room and start ripping off my clothes "
"what do u do" ,asked the doctor !.
"i push them away "
" i see , and how can i help u !?"
"pleeeeese , break my arms !!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
"i have this recurring dream ,in which 5 women rush into my bed room and start ripping off my clothes "
"what do u do" ,asked the doctor !.
"i push them away "
" i see , and how can i help u !?"
"pleeeeese , break my arms !!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
On television, a Democratic operative pointed out that when Obama holds a rally 25,000-30,000 people show up, whereas when McCain holds one he only draws about 10,000!.
The Republican spokesman replied, “That's because McCain's supporters are at work!.” Www@Enter-QA@Com
The Republican spokesman replied, “That's because McCain's supporters are at work!.” Www@Enter-QA@Com
this is kind of racist and i heared this from a friend and im not offending any black guys!.!.!.
why cant the black guy turn left!?
because he has no right!.!.!.
hahaha funny but racistWww@Enter-QA@Com
why cant the black guy turn left!?
because he has no right!.!.!.
hahaha funny but racistWww@Enter-QA@Com
there were two muffins sitting in the oven!.
the first muffin said:
Boy, it sure is hot in here!.
the second muffin said:
OMFG A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
the first muffin said:
Boy, it sure is hot in here!.
the second muffin said:
OMFG A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
there were two peanuts walking down a deserted alley/road!. At night!.
and one of them!.!.!.!. was!.!.!.!.
a salted!.
!.!.!.peanut!.
salted peanut!.
ah!.hahaha!.!.haha!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
and one of them!.!.!.!. was!.!.!.!.
a salted!.
!.!.!.peanut!.
salted peanut!.
ah!.hahaha!.!.haha!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do u call a bunch of blondes lined up head to head!?!?!?!? a windtunnel !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1Www@Enter-QA@Com
whats the diffance between chopped beef and pea soup!.!.!.!.!.!.anyone can chop beef but no one can pee soup lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
How do you circumcise a hillbilly!?
Kick his sister in the jaw!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Kick his sister in the jaw!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why Did sally fall out of the swing!?
!.!.!.
!.!.!.
!.!.!.
Because Sally has no Arms!
<(^^,)>basscreatorWww@Enter-QA@Com
!.!.!.
!.!.!.
!.!.!.
Because Sally has no Arms!
<(^^,)>basscreatorWww@Enter-QA@Com