What about this load of jokes then funny or will i get another violation notice !
Question: What about this load of jokes then funny or will i get another violation notice !?
Talk Dirty to Me
What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman!?
S*xual harassment!.
What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man!?
$3!.99 a minute!.
Women and Watches
Why don't women need watches!?
Because there's a clock on the stove!.
Hired Help
A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers!.
The guy says, ''Who is this!?''
''This is the maid,'' answers the woman!.
''We don't have a maid,'' says the man!.
The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house!.''
The man says, ''Well, this is her husband!. Is she there!?''
The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband!.''
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000!?''
The maid says, ''What will I have to do!?''
The man tells her, ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with!.''
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots!.
The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies!?''
The man says, ''Throw them in the swimming pool!.''
Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool!.''
A long pause and the man says, ''Is this 567-5309!?''
From Cradle to Ladle
John invited his mother over for dinner!. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was!. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious!. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye!.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates!."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful gravy ladle!. You don't suppose she took it, do you!?"
John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure!."
So, he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle!. But, the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner!."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie!. But, the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now!.
Love, Mom!.
Lesson of the day: Don't lie to your mother!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman!?
S*xual harassment!.
What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man!?
$3!.99 a minute!.
Women and Watches
Why don't women need watches!?
Because there's a clock on the stove!.
Hired Help
A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers!.
The guy says, ''Who is this!?''
''This is the maid,'' answers the woman!.
''We don't have a maid,'' says the man!.
The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house!.''
The man says, ''Well, this is her husband!. Is she there!?''
The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband!.''
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000!?''
The maid says, ''What will I have to do!?''
The man tells her, ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with!.''
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots!.
The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies!?''
The man says, ''Throw them in the swimming pool!.''
Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool!.''
A long pause and the man says, ''Is this 567-5309!?''
From Cradle to Ladle
John invited his mother over for dinner!. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was!. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious!. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye!.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates!."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful gravy ladle!. You don't suppose she took it, do you!?"
John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure!."
So, he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle!. But, the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner!."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie!. But, the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now!.
Love, Mom!.
Lesson of the day: Don't lie to your mother!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Totally loved the last one!. Mom's always seem to know everything, don't they!? How ya like my new look duck!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
OMG finally some jokes that I haven't heard! Those were great! Here's a star, I look forward to some more good ones!!!!!!
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excelente!!
why would you get a violation notice!?
the jokes were halarious +=)Www@Enter-QA@Com
why would you get a violation notice!?
the jokes were halarious +=)Www@Enter-QA@Com
These jokes are funny, if perhaps a little iffy!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Congratulations,have a star! These are new and funny too!Www@Enter-QA@Com
All very funny!.
The last was hilarious
Mom's always know!. lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
The last was hilarious
Mom's always know!. lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
That last one was great!. Keep them coming lol cos you always make me laugh lol!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
These are funny! Hired Help is my favorite! *star*Www@Enter-QA@Com
That one deserved a starWww@Enter-QA@Com
Yes very good!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
ha! i liked the 3rd and 4th but didn't get the 1st and 2nd!.!.!. have a star anywayWww@Enter-QA@Com
Ha ha ha!.!!!
These are great Chris!.!!!
10/10!.!!
Cheers mate, keep them coming!.!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
These are great Chris!.!!!
10/10!.!!
Cheers mate, keep them coming!.!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Hilarious!. I hope that you don't get a violation notice for it, too!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The last one is the bestWww@Enter-QA@Com
Super job with these jokes!.!.!.a star for sure!.!.!.ThanksWww@Enter-QA@Com
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, seen the last one before but loved ' Hired Help ' !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
lol niceWww@Enter-QA@Com
these are awesome jokes especially the last one and the hired help one!. How about this joke!?
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses!. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed!. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services!. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do!?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help!. First, let's make sure he's dead!." There is a silence, then a shot is heard!. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses!. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed!. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services!. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do!?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help!. First, let's make sure he's dead!." There is a silence, then a shot is heard!. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what!?Www@Enter-QA@Com