Any funny jokes out there?!
Question: Any funny jokes out there!?
im really bored and i was wondering if you have any funny jokesWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
it must've been busy in heaven, because when a man went to go through the pearly gates of heaven, St!. Peter, who was sitting just outside the gates, said, "Oh-I'm sorry!. You cn't go in just yet-you see, I've been asked to let in only the people with the most horrific deaths due to the fact that heaven has been quite full today!. So, what's your story!?" The man stepped up and said, "Well, for the past few months, I've been suspecting that my wife has been cheating on me!. So, I decided to come home early from work and catch her red-handed!! But when I got to my apartment on the 26th floor, no one was there!. But something still didn't feel right!.!.!.so I walked out onto the balcony, and sure enough!! A man was hanging on the ledge by his fingers-I was VERY sure that that was the guy! I walked over and started beating him and kicking him!.!.!.but that stupid arrogant man wouldn't let go! Now, I'm REALLY mad!. So I went into my kitchen where, my tool box is, and got out my hammer!. I ran back onto the balcany and started puonding on the man's fingers, sure he'd let go and fall to his death!. And that's just what he did- he let go- but he LANDED IN A FLIPPEN BUSH! And was FINE!!!Now, I'm outraged!. I ran back into my kitchen and ripped out my fridge-threw it over the balcony and killled that idiot I'm sure my wife was cheating on me with!. And then, wouldn't you know it!? I had a heart attack from all that stress! So, Here I am!.!.!."
St!. Peter looked dazed as he said, ''Wow!.!.!.tht really is a horrible death!.!.!.go on in!." So the man walked in!.
A second man walked up and St!. Peter explained the situation!. -"So, what's your story!?" he asked!. The man replied, "Well, today I was on the 27th floor doing my daily exercises when, I must've slipped or something, cuz I fell off the balcony!-But, THANK GOD- I caught onto the 26th floor's balcony! I was waiting there quite a while when finally a man walked out and saw me!. I thought for sure I was saved, but then he started beating me and kicking me! But I held on so I was sure not to fall to my death!. When he left, I thought all was good, but he came back with a hammer and started pounding on my fingers! I couldn't stand that, and let go!. I fell all 26th floors!.!.!.and landed in a bush! I lived, aith barely any scratches! But just when I thought I was saved, out of nowhere a fridge appeared out of the sky and squished me!! So, here I am!.!.!."
St!. Peter thought a moment, then said, "that really is a bad day!.!.!.go on in!" The man nodded and went into heaven!. Then, the third man walked up!. Before walking in, St!. Peter explained the situation and said, "So, what's your story!?"
The man looked at St!.Peter and replied, "Picture this!.!.!.I'm hiding naked inside a refridgerator!.!.!.!."
lol-I thought tht one was sooo funny!.!.!.
Things you DON'T want to hear during surgery!.!.!.!.
Nobody move!-I lost my contact!.!.!.
Hey-Isn't this the idiot tht slept with my wife!?
yeah-um, give me that!.!.!.!.THING, so I can cut!.!.!.that!.!.!.other, thing!.!.!.!.
Can someone stop tht thing from beating!? It's throwing off my concentration!
HEY, COOL!! If I press down on this thing, then cut that thingy in his stomach, I can-!.!.!.oops!.!.Hope this guy has insurance!.
*surgeon walks in* Sorry I'm late, i was at my last patient's funeral!. -poor guy had arm surgery!.
(if u dn't get tht last one, it's the fact tht the surgeon was so terrible, tht he killed his last patient while performing arm surgery)!.
Hope they made u laugh!.!.!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
St!. Peter looked dazed as he said, ''Wow!.!.!.tht really is a horrible death!.!.!.go on in!." So the man walked in!.
A second man walked up and St!. Peter explained the situation!. -"So, what's your story!?" he asked!. The man replied, "Well, today I was on the 27th floor doing my daily exercises when, I must've slipped or something, cuz I fell off the balcony!-But, THANK GOD- I caught onto the 26th floor's balcony! I was waiting there quite a while when finally a man walked out and saw me!. I thought for sure I was saved, but then he started beating me and kicking me! But I held on so I was sure not to fall to my death!. When he left, I thought all was good, but he came back with a hammer and started pounding on my fingers! I couldn't stand that, and let go!. I fell all 26th floors!.!.!.and landed in a bush! I lived, aith barely any scratches! But just when I thought I was saved, out of nowhere a fridge appeared out of the sky and squished me!! So, here I am!.!.!."
St!. Peter thought a moment, then said, "that really is a bad day!.!.!.go on in!" The man nodded and went into heaven!. Then, the third man walked up!. Before walking in, St!. Peter explained the situation and said, "So, what's your story!?"
The man looked at St!.Peter and replied, "Picture this!.!.!.I'm hiding naked inside a refridgerator!.!.!.!."
lol-I thought tht one was sooo funny!.!.!.
Things you DON'T want to hear during surgery!.!.!.!.
Nobody move!-I lost my contact!.!.!.
Hey-Isn't this the idiot tht slept with my wife!?
yeah-um, give me that!.!.!.!.THING, so I can cut!.!.!.that!.!.!.other, thing!.!.!.!.
Can someone stop tht thing from beating!? It's throwing off my concentration!
HEY, COOL!! If I press down on this thing, then cut that thingy in his stomach, I can-!.!.!.oops!.!.Hope this guy has insurance!.
*surgeon walks in* Sorry I'm late, i was at my last patient's funeral!. -poor guy had arm surgery!.
(if u dn't get tht last one, it's the fact tht the surgeon was so terrible, tht he killed his last patient while performing arm surgery)!.
Hope they made u laugh!.!.!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics!?" Dad says,
"Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
#1!. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President!.
#2!. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government!.
#3!. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People!.
#4!. The maid, well we'll consider her the Working Class!.
#5!. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future!. Okay!.!?
"Now, go on and think about that and see if it makes sense!."
So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said!.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check
on him!. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper!.
So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound
asleep!. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the maid's room!. Finding the
door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed, with
the maid!. So, he gives up and goes back to bed!.
The next morning, the little boy says to his Father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now!."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about!."
The little boy replies: "Well, the President is screwing the Working Class
while the Government is sound asleep, and the People are being ignored
while the Future is in deep ****!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
#1!. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President!.
#2!. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government!.
#3!. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People!.
#4!. The maid, well we'll consider her the Working Class!.
#5!. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future!. Okay!.!?
"Now, go on and think about that and see if it makes sense!."
So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said!.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check
on him!. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper!.
So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound
asleep!. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the maid's room!. Finding the
door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed, with
the maid!. So, he gives up and goes back to bed!.
The next morning, the little boy says to his Father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now!."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about!."
The little boy replies: "Well, the President is screwing the Working Class
while the Government is sound asleep, and the People are being ignored
while the Future is in deep ****!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
LOl these are sick but good!. what is the best thing about ******* 28 year olds there are 20 of em!. ( 20 eight year olds) and a father is washing his 2 kids in a bath a boy aged 6 and a girl aged 5!. the boy asks what is this ( pointing to his dick) and the father says its ur tractor son!. the girl says what is this dad ( pointing to her u know what) and he says it ur shed !. he goes down stairs comes back up a few minutes later and there is blood everwhere!. the dad says wat happened!!! the boy says i tried to fit my tractor in her shed but it wudnt fit so i cut off my back wheels :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
that first joke wasn't funny!. lololol
http://www!.humorsphere!.com/yo_mama/yo_mo!.!.!.
LOL
<3Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://www!.humorsphere!.com/yo_mama/yo_mo!.!.!.
LOL
<3Www@Enter-QA@Com
I say:what is the diffference between a skunk and an egg!?
you say:no
I say: i'll never send you out to buy groceries thenWww@Enter-QA@Com
you say:no
I say: i'll never send you out to buy groceries thenWww@Enter-QA@Com
The jerk store called, they're running out of youWww@Enter-QA@Com