Can you abstain from sex for a month?!
Question: Can you abstain from sex for a month!?
A religious,newlywed couple moved to another part of the country and asked the local vicar if they could join his church!. The vicar explained that all new members must show their dedication to the church by abstaining from sex for a month!. They said that they'd try their best!.
In three weeks time, the man went to see the vicar, he was embarrassed and contrite!.
"I'm afraid, vicar, we failed!.!.!.!.we did try!. The first week we thought of other things to get our minds off it and it worked!. The second week we prayed and read the Bible and, although it was hard, we managed to abstain from sex!. Unfortunately, yesterday, my wife was wearing a short skirt and bent down to pick up a tin of paint and lust overcame me and I made love to her from the back, there and then!.!.!.!.I couldn't help myself!.
The vicar said!.!.!."I'm sorry, you are not committed enough to the cause, you're not welcome in our church"!.
To which, the man replied!.!.!."We're not welcome in Homebase any more either!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
In three weeks time, the man went to see the vicar, he was embarrassed and contrite!.
"I'm afraid, vicar, we failed!.!.!.!.we did try!. The first week we thought of other things to get our minds off it and it worked!. The second week we prayed and read the Bible and, although it was hard, we managed to abstain from sex!. Unfortunately, yesterday, my wife was wearing a short skirt and bent down to pick up a tin of paint and lust overcame me and I made love to her from the back, there and then!.!.!.!.I couldn't help myself!.
The vicar said!.!.!."I'm sorry, you are not committed enough to the cause, you're not welcome in our church"!.
To which, the man replied!.!.!."We're not welcome in Homebase any more either!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
u r Driving me crazyWww@Enter-QA@Com
OH great, Try B & Q next time , Or offer to decorate the parish hall Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ha ha good 1 :DWww@Enter-QA@Com
Good one, can I use that!?
I'm giving you a star for originaility!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I'm giving you a star for originaility!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I saw them in a Hardware store!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
LMAO - good one *Www@Enter-QA@Com
GOOD ONEWww@Enter-QA@Com
lol good one :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
good oneWww@Enter-QA@Com
lmfao (:
xWww@Enter-QA@Com
xWww@Enter-QA@Com
lol love it! Have a star!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I went without sex for 14 years, but, when i was!.!.!.!.!.!.!.15!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Good one lol!. Have a star for making me laugh!. I like it lol!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
u rule ha ha !.Www@Enter-QA@Com
In the valleys the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more!. There is a hush within the congregation!. No one wants him to leave!.
Jones, the car dealer, stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Ford every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds!.
Jones, the publican, stands and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'
More sighs and loud applause!.
Agnes Jones, age 70, stands and announces with a smile, if the Vicar stays, I will give him sex!.'
There is total silence!.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs!. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that!?'
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F**k the Vicar'!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Jones, the car dealer, stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Ford every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds!.
Jones, the publican, stands and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'
More sighs and loud applause!.
Agnes Jones, age 70, stands and announces with a smile, if the Vicar stays, I will give him sex!.'
There is total silence!.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs!. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that!?'
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F**k the Vicar'!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A priest is awaiting a visit from the pope and he decides he needs to tidy up his home to make it comfortable for the popes stay, so he pays a gardener ￡100 to tidy up the garden, it looks great!. He pays a painter ￡200 to paint the house, it looks like a new penny!. all except for the windows, but he hasn't had a window cleaner for years!. so he dials 118118 and gets a window cleaner who tells him he'll do the whole house for ￡25, bargain thinks the priest!.
When the window cleaner is cleaning the priests bedroom window he looks in to his horror he sees the priest bashing his bishop!. So when the priest offers him the ￡25 the window cleaner blackmails him for an extra ￡500!.
The pope comes the week after and coments how well his house and garden look, but says he especially astonished how clean his windows are, "they ought to be i paid ￡525 for them" grumbles the priest "Jesus H Christ" says the pope "he saw you comin!!!!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
When the window cleaner is cleaning the priests bedroom window he looks in to his horror he sees the priest bashing his bishop!. So when the priest offers him the ￡25 the window cleaner blackmails him for an extra ￡500!.
The pope comes the week after and coments how well his house and garden look, but says he especially astonished how clean his windows are, "they ought to be i paid ￡525 for them" grumbles the priest "Jesus H Christ" says the pope "he saw you comin!!!!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com