Wax on wax off.funny or not?!


Question: Wax on wax off!.funny or not!?
cold wax
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of
easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors,
Nair and now!.!.!.the wax!. Read on!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
My night began as any other normal weeknight!. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids!. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe should pull the waxing kit
out of the medicine cabinet!."
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom!. It was one of
those "cold wax" kits!. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub
the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them
apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull
the
hair right off!.
No muss, no fuss!. How hard can it be!? I mean, I'm not a genius, but
I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out!. (YA THINK!!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out!. Its two strips facing each
other stuck together!. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius
kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees!.
("Cold wax,"
yeah!.!.!.right!) I lay the strip across my thigh!. Hold the skin around
it tight and pull!. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad!. I can do
this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all
wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire!.
With my next wax strip I move north!. After checking on the kids, I
sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship!. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet!.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right
side
of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and
stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself!.!.!.!.RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!.!.!.!.OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half
the strip!. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is
spinning
and spotted!.
I think I may pass out!.!.!.must stay conscious!.!.!.must stay conscious!.
Do I hear crashing drums!?!?!? Breathe, breathe!.!.!.OK, back to normal!.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has
caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it!. I want to
revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair!. I hold up the
strip!
There's no hair on it!.
Where is the hair!?!?!? WHERE IS THE WAX!?!?!?
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet!. I see
the hair!. The hair that should be on the strip!.!.!.it's not! I touch!.
I am touching wax!.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is
now covered in cold wax and matted hair!. Then I make the next BIG
mistake!.!.!.remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet!? I know
I
need to do something!. So I put my foot down!.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut!. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do
and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop!. My
head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax!?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can
stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the
wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right!?!?!?
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit!.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom
of the tub!.!.!.in scalding hot water!.
Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax!.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented
myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a
few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some
secret of how to get me undone!. It's a very good conversation
starter
"So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the
tub!"
There is a slight pause!. She doesn't know any secret tricks for
removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me!. She wants to
know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or
hole
or hoo-ha!?"
She's laughing out loud by now!.!.!.I can hear her!. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box!.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night!.
While
we go through various solutions!. I resort to trying to scrape the
wax
off with a razor !. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie
goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super
hot
water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is
not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm
going to need Post-TraumaticWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Cant type,,,,, I cant see for the tears of sypathy are running down my face!. And my mascara is running and stinging my eyes!. Will now email this to my freind who waxes for a living
Www@Enter-QA@Com

Can someone's misery be a source of laughter to others!? That's an age-old question in art!.!.!.!.

Now you have answered that AFFIRMATIVE!.!.!.

Congrats!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Smiled quite a few times throughout this story:)Www@Enter-QA@Com

Yes it is funny, I like sarcastic humour!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

haha
very niceWww@Enter-QA@Com

You had me laughing and tears in my eyes!.

Thank you!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

That was hilarious!. Thanks for the laugh, I was having a bad day!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Somebody sent me this a few weeks ago!.!.!.!.It had me in stitches!.!.!.Very good!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

funny for usssss

not funny for you

truth be told Www@Enter-QA@Com

Poor woman!!! Did she not heat the one for her bikini line!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

lolol, i love long jokes ;DWww@Enter-QA@Com

ha ha ha!.!.!.!.!its super!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Aw!!!
Poor you!.
Sorry can't help it but I am nearly on the floor laughing!.

Go & get yourself a good stiff drink
xx

? ?Www@Enter-QA@Com

well that story was getting interesting then you run out of words perhaps you could send another question with the rest of the storyWww@Enter-QA@Com



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