Here's another joke for ya!!?!
Question: Here's another joke for ya!!!?
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog
and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I
had a dog!.
What did she think I had, an elephant!? So since I'm
retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet
again!. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms!.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry!. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again!. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my
story!.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care
because the dog food poisoned me!. I told her no, I stepped
off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's A$$ and a car hit
us both!.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard!. Wal-Mart won't let me
shop there anymore!. Better watch what you ask retired
people!. They have all the time in the world to think of
crazy things to say!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog
and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I
had a dog!.
What did she think I had, an elephant!? So since I'm
retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet
again!. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms!.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry!. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again!. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my
story!.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care
because the dog food poisoned me!. I told her no, I stepped
off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's A$$ and a car hit
us both!.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard!. Wal-Mart won't let me
shop there anymore!. Better watch what you ask retired
people!. They have all the time in the world to think of
crazy things to say!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
That is a great joke told very well !. A star for you!.
truelyde!.!.!. It′s a joke!.!.!.!.!.!.!.not true!. Lots of jokes are told in the first person to make them more believable and funnier!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
truelyde!.!.!. It′s a joke!.!.!.!.!.!.!.not true!. Lots of jokes are told in the first person to make them more believable and funnier!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
HAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I LOVE IT,
you remind me SO much of myself, bet it makes your day to know The Antichrist said you remind him of himself----
HA HA HA HA HA HAWww@Enter-QA@Com
you remind me SO much of myself, bet it makes your day to know The Antichrist said you remind him of himself----
HA HA HA HA HA HAWww@Enter-QA@Com
hahahahahaha i love that i might do that one day!
lol i love that i would have just LOVED to have been there!Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol i love that i would have just LOVED to have been there!Www@Enter-QA@Com
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhaahah class hahahahahahaWww@Enter-QA@Com
i like the original i read while licking my balls in the middle of the road when a car hit me!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
So you're retired and you have a little girl avatar!? *Backs off slow*Www@Enter-QA@Com
I can't wait till I can retire!.!.!.I'm going to have so much fun at Walmart!.!.:) Nice joke!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol!.I could picture my grandmother or my aunt doing something like that!Www@Enter-QA@Com
that's funny!. i wouldn't laugh though!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Oh my god!.!.!.that was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L, Just beautiful! Thank you, so much! Www@Enter-QA@Com
hahahaha!!!!!!
lmao
very funny!
heres a joke for u :D
a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "u wanna make a bet!?"
the bartender loved a good bet so he agreed and said, "wats the bet mate!?"
the man said, "i bet u $100 that i can bite my left eye"!.!.!.!.the bartender laughed and said "yea alright", so the man took out his left eye and bit it and got $100!.
After that the man said, "i bet u $200 i can bite my right eye" and the bartender thought, well he didnt come in here blind so he agreed to make the bet, and the man pulled out his false teeth and bit his right eye and ofcourse got his money!.
A few hours later the man was pretty drunk and said to the bartender "hey, i bet u $500 i can stand on this bar and piss in a cup 2 metres away and not get any outside the cup"!.!.!.the bartender laughed watchin the guy having trouble even getttin on the bar so he said "alright mate, lets see u do that, deal!"
and the man stood on the bar and pissed all over the bar and the bartender!.
the bartender cracked up laughing and said "alright, give us the 500 u lose!!"
so the man gave him the money and said "its ok, i bet those gentlemen on the other side of the bar i could piss all over u and still make u laugh"
hope u like that one! :)
cya later!Www@Enter-QA@Com
lmao
very funny!
heres a joke for u :D
a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "u wanna make a bet!?"
the bartender loved a good bet so he agreed and said, "wats the bet mate!?"
the man said, "i bet u $100 that i can bite my left eye"!.!.!.!.the bartender laughed and said "yea alright", so the man took out his left eye and bit it and got $100!.
After that the man said, "i bet u $200 i can bite my right eye" and the bartender thought, well he didnt come in here blind so he agreed to make the bet, and the man pulled out his false teeth and bit his right eye and ofcourse got his money!.
A few hours later the man was pretty drunk and said to the bartender "hey, i bet u $500 i can stand on this bar and piss in a cup 2 metres away and not get any outside the cup"!.!.!.the bartender laughed watchin the guy having trouble even getttin on the bar so he said "alright mate, lets see u do that, deal!"
and the man stood on the bar and pissed all over the bar and the bartender!.
the bartender cracked up laughing and said "alright, give us the 500 u lose!!"
so the man gave him the money and said "its ok, i bet those gentlemen on the other side of the bar i could piss all over u and still make u laugh"
hope u like that one! :)
cya later!Www@Enter-QA@Com