How about a few funny one-liners to warm your heart?!


Question: How about a few funny one-liners to warm your heart!?
One time I went to a hotel!. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag!. He felt up my wife!


This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me!.


I'm a bad lover!. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me!.


My wife only has sex with me for a purpose!. Last night she used me to time an egg!.


It's tough to stay married!. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!


My wife isn't very bright!. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it!?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate!."


Last night my wife met me at the front door!. She was wearing a sexy negligee!. The only trouble was, she was coming home!.


A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over!. There's nobody home!." I went over!. Nobody was home!


A hooker once told me she had a headache!.


I went to a massage parlor!. It was self service!.


If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all!.


I was making love to this girl and she started crying!. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning!?" She said, "No, I hate myself now!."


I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger!. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks!.


I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders!.


I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it!.


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Answers:
They were all superb!. In light of your last three I shall finish with!.!.!.!.!.!.

Two friends are in a bar moaning about how ugly their women are!.
The first guy says his wife is uglier!.
The second says come with me and I'll show you my wife!.
The 2 guys head out and get to the 2nd one's house!.
The guy opens the cellar door and says" Honey could you come up here!?"
She says `"Should I put the bag over my head!?" And he says "No, I don't want sex, just to show you to someone!."
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BrilliantWww@Enter-QA@Com

Lmaoo!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

definitely original stuff

AMWww@Enter-QA@Com

lmao so hard
that's brilliant SS
cracked me up
x x xWww@Enter-QA@Com

pure brillianse once more the saint has surpassed himself cheers mate Www@Enter-QA@Com

Lol, they were alright babes :0)Www@Enter-QA@Com

lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

lol
they were very funny
made me laugh like hell!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

yep!.!.!.crazy as always! cheers!Www@Enter-QA@Com

all new to me !.Www@Enter-QA@Com

That's brightened up my day thanks!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

ha ha ha!!! awesome one - liners Saint!!! i loved all of them!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

One time I went to a hotel!. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag!. He felt up my wife! NOT FUNNY
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me!. FUNNY
I'm a bad lover!. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me!. FUNNY
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose!. Last night she used me to time an egg!. FUNNY
It's tough to stay married!. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! FUNNYISH
My wife isn't very bright!. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it!?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate!." NOT FUNNY
Last night my wife met me at the front door!. She was wearing a sexy negligee!. The only trouble was, she was coming home!. NOT FUNNY
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over!. There's nobody home!." I went over!. Nobody was home! NOT FUNNY
A hooker once told me she had a headache!. NOT FUNNY
I went to a massage parlor!. It was self service!. NOT FUNNY
If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all!. FUNNYISH
I was making love to this girl and she started crying!. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning!?" She said, "No, I hate myself now!." NOT FUNNY
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger!. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks!. NOT FUNNY
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders!. NOT FUNNY
I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it!. NOT FUNNY
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