Whats the funniest joke you know?!
Question: Whats the funniest joke you know!?
Answers:
A man died and went to heaven!. As he stood in front of St!. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him!.
He asked, "What are all those clocks!?"
St!. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks!. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock!.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move!."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that!?"
"That's Mother Teresa's!. The hands have never moved, indicating
that she never told a lie!."
"Incredible," said the man" And whose clock is that one!?"
St!. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock!. The hands
have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life!."
"Where's President Bush's clock!?" asked the man!.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office!.
He's using it as a ceiling fan!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him!.
He asked, "What are all those clocks!?"
St!. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks!. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock!.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move!."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that!?"
"That's Mother Teresa's!. The hands have never moved, indicating
that she never told a lie!."
"Incredible," said the man" And whose clock is that one!?"
St!. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock!. The hands
have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life!."
"Where's President Bush's clock!?" asked the man!.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office!.
He's using it as a ceiling fan!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
A Texan is visiting the Alaska bush country and goes to a local bar!. He starts in with how everything's bigger and better in Texas and the locals finally get fed up!.
One says, "Mister, here in Alaska, we don't consider a man a man unless he can chug down a quart of whiskey, wrestle a grizzley bear and screw an Eskimo woman all in the same night!"
The Texan says, "Heck, I can do all that!" He grabs a bottle and downs it without blinking an eye!. "Now, where can I find a grizzley!?"
"Just head out in the woods a bit - there's loads of them there!."
The Texan heads out and the locals figure they've seen the last of him!. A couple of hours later, the door swings open and the Texan staggers in, clothes clawed to shreds and bleeding from dozens of cuts!. "Well, it was tougher than I thought, but I did it! Now, where's that Eskimo woman I have to wrestle!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
One says, "Mister, here in Alaska, we don't consider a man a man unless he can chug down a quart of whiskey, wrestle a grizzley bear and screw an Eskimo woman all in the same night!"
The Texan says, "Heck, I can do all that!" He grabs a bottle and downs it without blinking an eye!. "Now, where can I find a grizzley!?"
"Just head out in the woods a bit - there's loads of them there!."
The Texan heads out and the locals figure they've seen the last of him!. A couple of hours later, the door swings open and the Texan staggers in, clothes clawed to shreds and bleeding from dozens of cuts!. "Well, it was tougher than I thought, but I did it! Now, where's that Eskimo woman I have to wrestle!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok well here goes !.!.!.!.!.
a man walks in 2 a bar and sits down!.!.!.!.!.
he tells the bar man the drink he wants and the bar man gives him the drink and then he walks away,
the man is now alone in the bar
suddenly he hears a voice!.!.!.!.!.
'oh i like your jeans'
the shocked and startled man looks around this bar and sees on 1 is there so he 4gets a bout it!.!.!.
the bar man returns and then goes a again !.!.!. then the man hears the vioce again!.!.
'hmmm !.!. your hair looks lovey 2day'
the man even more scared than b4 told the barman that he found he was going mad !.!.!.!.
the barman replies !.!.!. ' O sorry its the nuts there 'complementary'
lol - hope u enjoyed :)
Www@Enter-QA@Com
a man walks in 2 a bar and sits down!.!.!.!.!.
he tells the bar man the drink he wants and the bar man gives him the drink and then he walks away,
the man is now alone in the bar
suddenly he hears a voice!.!.!.!.!.
'oh i like your jeans'
the shocked and startled man looks around this bar and sees on 1 is there so he 4gets a bout it!.!.!.
the bar man returns and then goes a again !.!.!. then the man hears the vioce again!.!.
'hmmm !.!. your hair looks lovey 2day'
the man even more scared than b4 told the barman that he found he was going mad !.!.!.!.
the barman replies !.!.!. ' O sorry its the nuts there 'complementary'
lol - hope u enjoyed :)
Www@Enter-QA@Com
a man is travelling europe as a part of his own pilgrimage!. he stops at an inn, and sits down for a drink!. suddenly, there is a hushed silence, and he wonders what is going on!. a man has stood up and is gesturing for people to listen!.
he puts on a solemn face, and hollers the word "47!" loudly, and everyone immediately laughs themselves silly!.
the man is confused!. he doesn't know what is going on, but thinks nothing of it after that!.
this happens again and again!.
"39!"
"21!"
"2!"
everyone pisses themselves!.
eventually this man gets sick of it!.
he turns to the bar tender!.
"why do people keep calling out numbers!?"
the bartender gives him a confused look, then a look of realization!.
"oh! i didn't know you weren't local!. people around here all know all the bar jokes in the world!. they got sick of telling the whole joke, so we just numbered them all!."
the man nods, finding this whoile thing strange, and goes back to his drink!. the bartender goes back to polishing a pint!.
the man decides to give it a crack!.
he stands up onhis bar stool and there is a hushed silence!.
he raises his voice, and shouts "93!"
there is silence!.
and more silence!.
and more silence!.
the man goes red and starts to sit down, and then everyone begins clapping and absolutely CRACKING UP laughing!.
one man wets himself and runs to the bathroom, which makes everyone else laugh even more!
he turns to the bar tender!.
"what did i say!? what was so funny!?"
"oh, nothing, we just hadn't heard that one before!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
he puts on a solemn face, and hollers the word "47!" loudly, and everyone immediately laughs themselves silly!.
the man is confused!. he doesn't know what is going on, but thinks nothing of it after that!.
this happens again and again!.
"39!"
"21!"
"2!"
everyone pisses themselves!.
eventually this man gets sick of it!.
he turns to the bar tender!.
"why do people keep calling out numbers!?"
the bartender gives him a confused look, then a look of realization!.
"oh! i didn't know you weren't local!. people around here all know all the bar jokes in the world!. they got sick of telling the whole joke, so we just numbered them all!."
the man nods, finding this whoile thing strange, and goes back to his drink!. the bartender goes back to polishing a pint!.
the man decides to give it a crack!.
he stands up onhis bar stool and there is a hushed silence!.
he raises his voice, and shouts "93!"
there is silence!.
and more silence!.
and more silence!.
the man goes red and starts to sit down, and then everyone begins clapping and absolutely CRACKING UP laughing!.
one man wets himself and runs to the bathroom, which makes everyone else laugh even more!
he turns to the bar tender!.
"what did i say!? what was so funny!?"
"oh, nothing, we just hadn't heard that one before!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
OK some people may find this funny others might not anyway here goes hope u like it:
I just bought a new car stereo!.!.!. When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music!. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music!. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "******* kids!", and it played Michael Jackson!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
I just bought a new car stereo!.!.!. When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music!. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music!. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "******* kids!", and it played Michael Jackson!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A brain goes to a local bar
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please!."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you!."
"Why not!?" askes the brain!.
"You're already out of your head!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please!."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you!."
"Why not!?" askes the brain!.
"You're already out of your head!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
a polar bear walks in to a bar and ask bar keep for a "rum and !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
!.!.!.!.!.
!.!.!.
;!.!.!.!.
!.!.!.
!.!.!.!.!.!.
!.!.!.
coke"
the bartender asks "why the big pause"
the polar bear responds "i dont know i've always had them"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
!.!.!.!.!.
!.!.!.
;!.!.!.!.
!.!.!.
!.!.!.!.!.!.
!.!.!.
coke"
the bartender asks "why the big pause"
the polar bear responds "i dont know i've always had them"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
the muffin joke:
two muffins were in an oven cooking
one muffin turns to the other and says
"Whew, it's hot in here!"
the other replys
"HOLY SMOKES A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
two muffins were in an oven cooking
one muffin turns to the other and says
"Whew, it's hot in here!"
the other replys
"HOLY SMOKES A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
You Know that same polar bear in the bar was quietly drinking, the barman said "excuse me we dont see many Polar bears in here"
Bear replies "Not suprised at these prices!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Bear replies "Not suprised at these prices!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
What green and hard!?
A frog with a flick knife
Why did the fly leave toilet seat!?
Because it was p!ssed off!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A frog with a flick knife
Why did the fly leave toilet seat!?
Because it was p!ssed off!Www@Enter-QA@Com
THERE ARE LIKE FIVE AND THEY WILL MAKE YOU TOTALLY CRY SO MUCH WHEN U R LAUGHING I GOT a comment in school but i told her y i was lafing and she burst out lafing it went around the school but i got through with out a comment i am in secomnd year and i am doing fantazy with my jokesWww@Enter-QA@Com