Funny Jokes??????????????????!
Question: Funny Jokes!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Are there any funny jokes you know!?
I can't find any good jokes!. But do you know any!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
I can't find any good jokes!. But do you know any!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Well this is more of a guy joke - i'm not sure in girls would like it for obvious reasons!. But here we go:
What do women and planes have in common!? They both have cockpits!.
Ok now for a girl joke lol!.!.!.
A Man's Guide To Female English
-- We need to talk = I need to complain
-- Sure!.!.!. go ahead = I don't want you to
-- I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
-- We need = I want
-- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
-- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
-- I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
-- You're !.!.!. so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
-- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about!?
-- I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
-- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
-- I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper!.!.!.!.!.
-- I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
-- Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
-- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
-- Do you love me!? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
-- How much do you love me!? = I did something today you're really not going to like
-- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
-- Is my bum fat!? = Tell me I'm beautiful
-- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
-- Are you listening to me!!? = [Too late, you're dead!.]
-- Yes = No
-- No = No
-- Maybe = No
-- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
-- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
-- Do you like this recipe!? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
-- Was that the baby!? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep!.
-- All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do women and planes have in common!? They both have cockpits!.
Ok now for a girl joke lol!.!.!.
A Man's Guide To Female English
-- We need to talk = I need to complain
-- Sure!.!.!. go ahead = I don't want you to
-- I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
-- We need = I want
-- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
-- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
-- I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
-- You're !.!.!. so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
-- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about!?
-- I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
-- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
-- I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper!.!.!.!.!.
-- I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
-- Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
-- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
-- Do you love me!? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
-- How much do you love me!? = I did something today you're really not going to like
-- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
-- Is my bum fat!? = Tell me I'm beautiful
-- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
-- Are you listening to me!!? = [Too late, you're dead!.]
-- Yes = No
-- No = No
-- Maybe = No
-- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
-- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
-- Do you like this recipe!? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
-- Was that the baby!? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep!.
-- All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH
1!. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR!.!.!.
2!. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION!.
3!. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES!?
4!. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE!.
5!. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION!?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE!.
6!. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS!?
7!. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP!?
8!. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION!?
9!. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM!?
10!. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL!?'
11!. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT!?
12!. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES!?
13!. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK!?
14!. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS!? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM!?
15!. If A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED!?
16!. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS!?
17!. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!?
18!. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD!?
19!. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!.
20!. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR!?
21!. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO!?
22!. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY!?
23!. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE!?
24!. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT!?
25!. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS'!?
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Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR!.!.!.
2!. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION!.
3!. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES!?
4!. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE!.
5!. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION!?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE!.
6!. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS!?
7!. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP!?
8!. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION!?
9!. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM!?
10!. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL!?'
11!. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT!?
12!. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES!?
13!. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK!?
14!. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS!? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM!?
15!. If A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED!?
16!. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS!?
17!. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!?
18!. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD!?
19!. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!.
20!. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR!?
21!. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO!?
22!. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY!?
23!. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE!?
24!. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT!?
25!. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS'!?
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Well ive heard so many!.!.but i barely remember any :S
-How do you stop a baby from drowning!?
You take your foot off its head!.
- what do parcly and pubic hair have in common!?
You push it aside and keep eatin'
-What did the guy say when he walked into the Bar!?
Ouch!.
-How do you kill a blonde!?
Put a 'scratch and sniff' sticker at the bottom of a pool
-Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree!?
because it was dead!.
Daughter: Dad, can i have some money to go shopping!?
Dad: Sure, but only if you give me a *******
* gets down on her knees!.!.!.!.*
Daughter: Oh god!.!.!.! Dad whys your dick taste like ****!?
Dad: Your brother needed to borrow the car!.
LOL!.!.!.!. yeah sorry theyre kinda lame,!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
-How do you stop a baby from drowning!?
You take your foot off its head!.
- what do parcly and pubic hair have in common!?
You push it aside and keep eatin'
-What did the guy say when he walked into the Bar!?
Ouch!.
-How do you kill a blonde!?
Put a 'scratch and sniff' sticker at the bottom of a pool
-Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree!?
because it was dead!.
Daughter: Dad, can i have some money to go shopping!?
Dad: Sure, but only if you give me a *******
* gets down on her knees!.!.!.!.*
Daughter: Oh god!.!.!.! Dad whys your dick taste like ****!?
Dad: Your brother needed to borrow the car!.
LOL!.!.!.!. yeah sorry theyre kinda lame,!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok here is a good joke!
There were two muffins in the oven!.
One of them realized it was getting really warm and it was starting to change color!. Then it burst out saying AHHHHHHHHH! I am burning!
and the other one says!
HOLY **** A TALKING MUFFIN!Www@Enter-QA@Com
There were two muffins in the oven!.
One of them realized it was getting really warm and it was starting to change color!. Then it burst out saying AHHHHHHHHH! I am burning!
and the other one says!
HOLY **** A TALKING MUFFIN!Www@Enter-QA@Com
THE TALLEST PENIS IN THE WORLD IS HOLD BY YAOWww@Enter-QA@Com