Can you give me a great Bible Joke...10 pts for the best?!


Question: Can you give me a great Bible Joke!.!.!.10 pts for the best!?
i need it as much now!.!.thank you!Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen!. Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said "Acts 2:38," and proceeded to quote scripture!.

The burglar froze in place and didn't move!. The woman called 911, the police arrived and were amazed to find the burglar still frozen where he stood!.

"What did you say to him that kept him from moving!?" they asked the woman!.

She told them that she had simply said Acts 2:38 and quoted scripture!.

The police chuckled and escorted the burglar out to the patrol car!. "Why did the woman's quoting scripture scare you so much!?" they asked!.

"Scripture!?" said the burglar, "I thought she said she had an ax and two 38's!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Q: Who was the shortest man in the Bible!?
A: (Some think it was Zacheus, some Nehemiah (Knee-high Miah,
Others thinks it was Bildad the Shuhite (shoe hight), but in fact,
It was Peter - he slept on his watch!

Q: How can we assume that the woman at the well was overweight!?
A: The passage says that she was a woman of "some area" (Samaria)
Q:Who was the straightest man in the Bible!?
A:Joseph: Pharoah made a ruler of him

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Two men contracted to paint a small community church!. Being very cheap, they pinched and scraped to spend the absolute minimum on materials!. Then, when they were only partway through the job, they decided that they did not, after all, have enough paint to complete the job!. Not wishing to spend any more money if they didn't absolutely have to,they decided they would just dilute the water-based paint they were using so that it would last longer!. When they finally finished, standing back to admire their work they noticed a little rain cloud above the church, as the little cloud began dumping rain, the paint started to wash away!. As they stood there looking helplessly at each other, a voiceboomed from the heavens: Repaint, and thin no more!"


One day a man was talking with god and he asked him "god how much is a million dollars worth to you!?" God say's about a penny!.
The man thought and then asked "god how long is a hundred years to you!?" God say's about a minute!. Man ask's "god can i have a penny!? God say's wait a minute!
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It's a bit long but here goes:
A priest and a nun were sitting in a car together!. The priest touches the nuns leg with his hand!. The nun said 'Father, remember Psalm 23!' Hesitantly, and disppointed, the priest put away his hand!. The second time the proest put his hand on the nuns leg, the nun said 'father, remember psalm 23!.' Again, the proest put his hand away!. This happened twice more and then the priest gave up!. When the priest went home to say his prayers, he stumbled upon psalm 23 in the bible!. It said 'Seek and you shall receive!.'Www@Enter-QA@Com

A Rabbi a priest and a protestant vicar went fishing on a lake in a rowing boat, after half an hour the vicar said 'I have left my sandwiches in the car, I'll just go and get them' he steps over the side of the boat and walks on the surface of the water to the shoreline gets his sandwiches and then walks back to the boat, the rabbi was speechless not believing what he had seen, an hour later the priest said 'I have to go and get the beers I left in the car', and the same as the vicar he stepped onto the water walked to the shore and then returned with the beers, the rabbi by this time was totally bemused, and not to be outdone by the other clerics he thought if they can walk on water then I as a rabbi can do the same, so he made an excuse to go back to the shore ' I have to go to the shore I need to go to the toilet' so he steps over the side of the boat and quickly disappeared below the surface of the water, and the priest looked at the vicar and said 'are you going to tell him where the stepping stones are or will I' !.
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Who was the world's first Scouser!? Noah!. God said to him "are you looking for a nark!?" (you need to be British for that!)

World's first motorcyclist!? Moses!. His TRIUMPH was heard throughout the Promised Land!.

groan!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

I have a good dane cook joke, well, not really a bible joke, but the punch line has the bible in it!.!.!.it's funny anyways!. Www@Enter-QA@Com

Q Who was the shortest man in the BIble
A Nehemiah ( Neh high mia)Www@Enter-QA@Com

"God!? why did u make Eve so dumb!?" asked Adam
"So she could love you" said GodWww@Enter-QA@Com



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