Is this funny or not at all?!

AFFAIRS!.
> >A married man was having an affair with his secretary!.
> >One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house,
> >where
> >they made passionate love all afternoon!.
> >Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm!.
> >As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes
> >outside
> >and rub them through the grass and dirt!.
> >Mystified, she nonetheless complied!. He slipped into his shoes and drove
> >home!.
> >'Where have you been!?' demanded his wife when he entered the house!.
> >'Darling, I can't lie to you!. I've been having an affair with my
> >secretary and we've
> >been having sex all afternoon!.
> >I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock!.'
> >The wife glanced down at his shoes and said,
> >'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'
> >
> >
> >The Second Affair
> >
> >There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage
> >daughters!. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always
> >wanted!. After months of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure
> >enough,
> >delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later!.
> >The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son!.
> >He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever
> >seen!.
> >He went to his wife and told her there was no way he could be the father
> >of
> >that child!.
> >'Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!'
> >Then he gave her a stern look and asked,
> >'Have you been fooling around on me!?'
> >The wife just smiled sweetly and said, 'Not this time!'
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >The Third Affair
> >
> >A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the
> >front door!. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner!.'
> >Then she quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then dusted him with
> >talcum powder!. 'Don't move until I tell you to,' she whispered!. 'Just
> >pretend
> >you're a statue!.'
> >'What's this, honey!?' the husband inquired as he entered the room!. 'Oh,
> >it's
> >a statue,' she replied nonchalantly!.
> >'The Smith bought one for their bedroom!. I liked it so much, I got one for
> >us too!.'
> >No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to sleep!.
> >Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen
> >and
> >returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk!. 'Here,' he
> >said
> >to the statue, 'eat something, I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for
> >three
> >days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water!.'
> >
> >
> >The Fourth Affair
> >
> >Jake was dying!.
> >His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side!.
> >She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face!.
> >Her praying roused him from his slumber!.
> >He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly!.
> >'Becky my darling,' he whispered!. 'Hush my love,' she said!. 'Rest, don't
> >talk!.' He was insistent!. 'Becky,' he said in his tired voice, 'I have
> >something
> >that I must confess!.'
> >'There's nothing to confess,' replied the weeping Becky,
> >'everything's all right, go to sleep!.'
> >'No, no I must die in peace, Becky!. I, I slept with your sister, your best
> >friend, her best friend and your mother!'
> >'I know, my sweet one' whispered Becky, 'let the poison work'!.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Two women were playing golf!.
> >One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a
> >foursome of men playing the next hole!.
> >The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together
> >at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony!.
> >The
> >woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize!.
> >Please allow me to help!. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could
> >relieve
> >your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him!.
> >Oh, no, I'll be all right!. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
> >replied,
> >still in pain, in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together
> >in
> >his groin!.
> >But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help!.
> >She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his
> >pants, and put her hands inside!.
> >She began to massage him!. She then asked, 'How does that feel!?'
> >He replied, 'It feels absolutely wonderful!.!.!. But my thumb still hurts Www@Enter-QA@Com

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