Tell me a joke, make me laugh and you get ten points x?!
Question: Tell me a joke, make me laugh and you get ten points x!?
Any joke, the best one wins xWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A man walks upto a librarian at his local library and asks, "do you have a good book on how to commit suicide"!?
"f*** off", replies the librarian "you won't bring it back"!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
"f*** off", replies the librarian "you won't bring it back"!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals!. The President gets tired of the bickering and decides to give them a test!. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it!.
The CIA goes in!. They place animal informants throughout the forest!. They question all plant and mineral witnesses!. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist!.
The FBI goes in!. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies!. The rabbit had it coming!.
The LAPD goes in!. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear, who is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
The CIA goes in!. They place animal informants throughout the forest!. They question all plant and mineral witnesses!. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist!.
The FBI goes in!. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies!. The rabbit had it coming!.
The LAPD goes in!. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear, who is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened!.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100!. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush!.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5!.00 bill!.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy!.
The little boy was delighted with the $5!.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D!.C!. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95!.00!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100!. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush!.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5!.00 bill!.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy!.
The little boy was delighted with the $5!.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D!.C!. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95!.00!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
The young girl had led a sheltered life!. She approached her mother with the news that she had fallen in love with a Greek sailor and they were going to be married!.
The mother was not happy with the idea of her daughter marrying a sailor -- especially a Greek one!. But she decided that since her daughter was in love, she would give her some motherly advice!.
"If your husband wants you to have sex 'THE OTHER WAY,' don't do it!" Mom warned!.
The daughter heeded her mother's advice for nearly a year!. But one day, after a wild session of love making, curiosity got the best of her!. The young woman asked her husband if they could have sex "THE OTHER WAY!."
Her husband jumped out of bed and yelled, "What, and take a chance on having children!?"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
The mother was not happy with the idea of her daughter marrying a sailor -- especially a Greek one!. But she decided that since her daughter was in love, she would give her some motherly advice!.
"If your husband wants you to have sex 'THE OTHER WAY,' don't do it!" Mom warned!.
The daughter heeded her mother's advice for nearly a year!. But one day, after a wild session of love making, curiosity got the best of her!. The young woman asked her husband if they could have sex "THE OTHER WAY!."
Her husband jumped out of bed and yelled, "What, and take a chance on having children!?"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Two brothers aged 5 and 7 are upstairs!. "Right!, it's about time we started swearing" says the 7 year old!. "When we go downstairs I'll swear and then you follow, OK!?"
"OK,OK" says the 5 year old!. They both shoot downstairs and Mum says "Hi boys, what would you like for breakfast!?"
"**** Mum, I want Coco Pops" WACK!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. His Mum cracks him round the ear and he runs upstairs crying!. "And what do you want for breakfast!?" Mum says with a red face!.
"I don't know" Blubbers the 5 year old "But it won't ******* Coco Pops"
I want 10 points for that!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
"OK,OK" says the 5 year old!. They both shoot downstairs and Mum says "Hi boys, what would you like for breakfast!?"
"**** Mum, I want Coco Pops" WACK!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. His Mum cracks him round the ear and he runs upstairs crying!. "And what do you want for breakfast!?" Mum says with a red face!.
"I don't know" Blubbers the 5 year old "But it won't ******* Coco Pops"
I want 10 points for that!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Two guys in a bar are discussing "positions" so one tells the other, "Well my favorite is the rodeo!"
and the other says, "What's the rodeo!?"
"well, first you get your wife down and start to do her doggy style, then when you're halfway done, you bend over and whisper in her ear, 'you know, this is your sister's favorite position too' and then try to hold on for 8 seconds!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
and the other says, "What's the rodeo!?"
"well, first you get your wife down and start to do her doggy style, then when you're halfway done, you bend over and whisper in her ear, 'you know, this is your sister's favorite position too' and then try to hold on for 8 seconds!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
There were three very fat and unfit sumo wrestlers stranded on an island, and they all wanted to get off really badly!.
So the first stupid sumo swam half way, got tired, and came back!.
The second sumo, who was reasonably dumb, swam half way too, got tired, and came back!.
The third sumo who was smarter than the other two walked across the bridge!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
So the first stupid sumo swam half way, got tired, and came back!.
The second sumo, who was reasonably dumb, swam half way too, got tired, and came back!.
The third sumo who was smarter than the other two walked across the bridge!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A little boy was doing his maths homework!.
He said to himself,
"Two plus five, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is seven!.
Three plus six, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is nine!.!.!."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing!?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom!."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it!?" the mother asked!.
"Yes," he answered!.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in maths!?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition!."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is four!?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School!. Usually she slept through the class!. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe!?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear!. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep!.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior!?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber!. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again!. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep!. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child!?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin!. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher faintedWww@Enter-QA@Com
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior!?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber!. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again!. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep!. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child!?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin!. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher faintedWww@Enter-QA@Com
one day the head nun said "i have simply dreadful news!"
good nun 1!. "oh no!"
good nun 2!. "oh no!"
naughty nun "hee hee"
head nun "i found something awful on a bed!"
good nun 1!. "oh no!"
good nun 2!. "oh no!"
naughty nun "hee hee"
head nun "it was a condom!"
good nun 1!. "oh no!"
good nun 2!. "oh no!"
naughty nun "hee hee"
head nun "and it had a hole in it!"
good nun 1!. "hee hee"
good nun 2!. "hee hee"
naughty nun "oh no!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
good nun 1!. "oh no!"
good nun 2!. "oh no!"
naughty nun "hee hee"
head nun "i found something awful on a bed!"
good nun 1!. "oh no!"
good nun 2!. "oh no!"
naughty nun "hee hee"
head nun "it was a condom!"
good nun 1!. "oh no!"
good nun 2!. "oh no!"
naughty nun "hee hee"
head nun "and it had a hole in it!"
good nun 1!. "hee hee"
good nun 2!. "hee hee"
naughty nun "oh no!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A woman walks into her local drycleaners, and says to the owner:
"Ive got another dress for you to clean"
The Man, who is hard of hearing says:
"come again!?"
And the Woman replies:
"No, this time its mustard"Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Ive got another dress for you to clean"
The Man, who is hard of hearing says:
"come again!?"
And the Woman replies:
"No, this time its mustard"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Moses led his people down to the river Jordan!.
He turned to the people and uttered these immortal words!.
"Get your wellies on people Ive not done this one before"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
He turned to the people and uttered these immortal words!.
"Get your wellies on people Ive not done this one before"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
My girlfriend phoned me earlier and said!.!. "Come on over there's nobody home!."
I went over!. Nobody was home!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
I went over!. Nobody was home!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Gary Glitter has finally gone into rehab to cure his 8 year old crack addiction!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Your this question is in itself is a joke!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
I don't do jokes!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A man walked into a bar!. Then he died from brain damage!. :(Www@Enter-QA@Com