Jokes please. anyone got some?!
Question: Jokes please!. anyone got some!?
anyone have any good jokes for me!? best one gets 10 points!. any jokes will be appreciatedWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
say well i was at the doctors with my brother the other day getting his sports physical
and the doc told him u have to stop masterbating
my bro said well y doc
cause i still have to examin u
a 30 year old guy and a 7 year old boy are walking in to the forest
and the kid said "im scared"
the man said "ha u think ur scared i have to walk out of here by myself"Www@Enter-QA@Com
and the doc told him u have to stop masterbating
my bro said well y doc
cause i still have to examin u
a 30 year old guy and a 7 year old boy are walking in to the forest
and the kid said "im scared"
the man said "ha u think ur scared i have to walk out of here by myself"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A ditzy blonde applied for a job at the Tickle-Me Elmo factory!. Although she wasn't particularly qualified, the manager liked what he saw in her and decided to put her to work anyway!. He started her out at the end of the assembly line where he figured she couldn't do much damage!.
After giving her very specific instructions, he went back to his office to do some paperwork!. He had just sat down to sign a few things when all of a sudden his secretary burst in to tell him that the whole assembly line had been shut down!
He raced out of his office to see what was the matter!. With a growing sense of dread, he looked toward the end of the assembly line!. Sure enough, there was the newly hired blonde surrounded by a huge pile of Elmos!. As the manager watched, she took each little Elmo doll, slit open its crotch, and carefully inserted two large steel ball bearings before sewing the little Elmos up again!.
The manager stormed up to the blonde and demanded to know what in the world was going on!
The blonde smiled and looked up at him!. "I'm doing exactly what you told me to do," she said, handing him a piece of paper!. "See, I even wrote it down!."
The manager took one look at the paper and groaned!. "Maybe I wasn't quite clear," he said!. "What I meant for you to do was give each new Elmo two test tickles!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
After giving her very specific instructions, he went back to his office to do some paperwork!. He had just sat down to sign a few things when all of a sudden his secretary burst in to tell him that the whole assembly line had been shut down!
He raced out of his office to see what was the matter!. With a growing sense of dread, he looked toward the end of the assembly line!. Sure enough, there was the newly hired blonde surrounded by a huge pile of Elmos!. As the manager watched, she took each little Elmo doll, slit open its crotch, and carefully inserted two large steel ball bearings before sewing the little Elmos up again!.
The manager stormed up to the blonde and demanded to know what in the world was going on!
The blonde smiled and looked up at him!. "I'm doing exactly what you told me to do," she said, handing him a piece of paper!. "See, I even wrote it down!."
The manager took one look at the paper and groaned!. "Maybe I wasn't quite clear," he said!. "What I meant for you to do was give each new Elmo two test tickles!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Politically Correct Feminine Terminology
Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid
that you would offend the person standing near you!?!.!.!.NOT!. Well, if you are, then are some alternatives to some popular phrases!.
I found them on a poster, but I don't remember which one!.
She is not: An airhead
She is: Reality Impaired
She is not: A Bleached Blond
She is: Peroxide Dependant
She is not: A babe or chick
She is: A Breasted American
She does not have: Major league hooters
She is: Pectorally Superior
She does not have: A Great Tan
She is: Pigmentally Enhanced
You do not want to: Score or pick her up
You want to: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter
She is not: A perfect 10
She is: Numerically Superior
She does not have: A great butt
She has: A Superior Posterior
5 months ago
Www@Enter-QA@Com
i got one try this if it does the trick~~!!!!!!!!!
Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or something!. I call mine "Sex"!. Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me!. I spent hours looking for him!. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning!. I said, "I was looking for Sex!."
My court case comes up next Thursday!.
One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex!. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex!. He said "I would like to have one too!" When I said "But this is a dog," he said he didn't care what she looked like!. Then I said, "You don't understand!. I've had Sex since I was two years old!."
He replied, "You must have been a strong boy!."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding!. He told me to wait until after the wedding!. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex!."
He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in a church!. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there!. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace!. My family is barred from the church!.
My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon!. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex!. The clerk said that every room in the Motel is for Sex!. Then I said, "You don't understand!. Sex keeps me awake at night", and the clerk said,"Me too!."
One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV!. He said, "Show off!" I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have sold tickets!.
When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog!. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married" and the Judge said, "Me too!."
When I told him that after I was married Sex had left me, he said, "Me too!."
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for!. Why just the other day when I went for my first visit with the psychiatrist and she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble!?"
I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life!. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely!."
The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend!. Why not get yourself a dog!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or something!. I call mine "Sex"!. Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me!. I spent hours looking for him!. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning!. I said, "I was looking for Sex!."
My court case comes up next Thursday!.
One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex!. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex!. He said "I would like to have one too!" When I said "But this is a dog," he said he didn't care what she looked like!. Then I said, "You don't understand!. I've had Sex since I was two years old!."
He replied, "You must have been a strong boy!."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding!. He told me to wait until after the wedding!. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex!."
He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in a church!. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there!. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace!. My family is barred from the church!.
My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon!. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex!. The clerk said that every room in the Motel is for Sex!. Then I said, "You don't understand!. Sex keeps me awake at night", and the clerk said,"Me too!."
One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV!. He said, "Show off!" I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have sold tickets!.
When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog!. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married" and the Judge said, "Me too!."
When I told him that after I was married Sex had left me, he said, "Me too!."
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for!. Why just the other day when I went for my first visit with the psychiatrist and she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble!?"
I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life!. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely!."
The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend!. Why not get yourself a dog!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
This is an old joke that I made a movie off of!. You might be intersted!. Enjoy!
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=rS_Fg7H6l!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=rS_Fg7H6l!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q!.What did one boob say to the other boob!?
A!.We better get some support around here or somebody might think we are nuts!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A!.We better get some support around here or somebody might think we are nuts!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I was just thinking how many old people read bibles then I remember why!? They are cramming for their finalsWww@Enter-QA@Com