Does anyone have any good Chuck Norris lines ?!
Question: Does anyone have any good Chuck Norris lines !?
Like for instance Chuck Norris doesn't have a Ctrl button on his keyboard, Chuck Norris is always in Control!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you!.
-Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song!.
-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open!.
-Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip!.
-Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you!.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris!.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books!. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants!.
-There is no theory of evolution!. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live!.
-Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris!.
-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding!.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
-Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink!.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is!.
-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door!.
-Chuck Norris does not get frostbite!. Chuck Norris bites frost!.
-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter
-Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much!. Chuck Norris throws down!
-Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer!.
-When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken!.
-The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
-Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song!.
-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open!.
-Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip!.
-Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you!.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris!.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books!. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants!.
-There is no theory of evolution!. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live!.
-Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris!.
-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding!.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
-Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink!.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is!.
-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door!.
-Chuck Norris does not get frostbite!. Chuck Norris bites frost!.
-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter
-Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much!. Chuck Norris throws down!
-Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer!.
-When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken!.
-The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris!.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes!. Chuck Norris has 72!.!.!. and they're all poisonous!.
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out!. It failed miserably!.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths!.
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard!.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!.
"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song!.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse!.!.!. horses are hung like Chuck Norris!.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth!. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield
Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it!.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes!.
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota!.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack!. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever!.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out!.
Remember The Ultimate Warrior!? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back!.
Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass!. He makes his own!.
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit!. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees!. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer
Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land!. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man!.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died!. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible!. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries!.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card!.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class!.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom!. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris!.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11!.!.!.!. a suicide!.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people!. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there!.
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct!. He is just Correct!. Always!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes!. Chuck Norris has 72!.!.!. and they're all poisonous!.
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out!. It failed miserably!.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths!.
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard!.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!.
"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song!.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse!.!.!. horses are hung like Chuck Norris!.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth!. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield
Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it!.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes!.
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota!.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack!. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever!.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out!.
Remember The Ultimate Warrior!? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back!.
Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass!. He makes his own!.
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit!. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees!. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer
Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land!. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man!.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died!. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible!. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries!.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card!.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class!.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom!. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris!.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11!.!.!.!. a suicide!.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people!. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there!.
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct!. He is just Correct!. Always!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris doesnt believe in the Periodic Table!. The only element Chuck Norris believes in is the element of Surprise
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run all the way around the world and kick himself in the back of the head
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you!.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books!. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants!.
There is no theory of evolution!. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live!.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding!.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice!.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!.
Chuck Norris has a nightlight because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesnt write books!. He stares at the letters until they arrange themselves out of fear!.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue!.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's!.
Type "Find Chuck Norris" into google and hit "im feeling lucky" !!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run all the way around the world and kick himself in the back of the head
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you!.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books!. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants!.
There is no theory of evolution!. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live!.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding!.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice!.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!.
Chuck Norris has a nightlight because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesnt write books!. He stares at the letters until they arrange themselves out of fear!.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue!.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's!.
Type "Find Chuck Norris" into google and hit "im feeling lucky" !!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris's Tears Cure Cancer!. Shame Chuck Norris Never cries NEVER!
A long time ago, Chuck Norris told a little girl to be good!. The result!? Mother Teresa!
The bible was originally titled 'Chuck Norris and friends'
When Chuck Norris does press ups, he's not pressing himself up, he's pressing the world down!.
When chuck norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how mnay seconds you have to live!.!.!.
Chuck Norris can speak braille
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday!. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday!.
It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen!.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe!. Air hides in his lungs for protection!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A long time ago, Chuck Norris told a little girl to be good!. The result!? Mother Teresa!
The bible was originally titled 'Chuck Norris and friends'
When Chuck Norris does press ups, he's not pressing himself up, he's pressing the world down!.
When chuck norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how mnay seconds you have to live!.!.!.
Chuck Norris can speak braille
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday!. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday!.
It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen!.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe!. Air hides in his lungs for protection!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris once punched a woman in the vagina because she didnt give him exact change!.
Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table, because chuck norris only recognises the elemant of surprise!.
Chuck norris killed two stones with one bird!.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth!. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield!.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down!.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz!. steaks in one hour!. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress!.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one!. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face!. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking!.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died!. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible!. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries!.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table, because chuck norris only recognises the elemant of surprise!.
Chuck norris killed two stones with one bird!.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth!. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield!.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down!.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz!. steaks in one hour!. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress!.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one!. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face!. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking!.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died!. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible!. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries!.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There's a huge list of these and rarely do you see any new ones when you look!. Sometimes you do and they're normally pretty good when they pop up!. I only remember a few and they're probably already listed!.
My friend text me yesterday though, wel he text loads of people the same message!. It was about fantasy football and to have your teams in by a certain time and what not!. I test him back and said, "My team consists of one player - Chuck Norris!. Shall I wait til the end of the season to collect my winnings or give me them now!? Giving me them now, will spare you a round house kick to the face"
He didn't find it funny though!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
My friend text me yesterday though, wel he text loads of people the same message!. It was about fantasy football and to have your teams in by a certain time and what not!. I test him back and said, "My team consists of one player - Chuck Norris!. Shall I wait til the end of the season to collect my winnings or give me them now!? Giving me them now, will spare you a round house kick to the face"
He didn't find it funny though!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
beneath chuck norris's beard is not a chin, just another fist
the only substance known to man that can cut chuck norris is, chuck norrisWww@Enter-QA@Com
the only substance known to man that can cut chuck norris is, chuck norrisWww@Enter-QA@Com
If Chuck Norris knew you'd asked this question, he would just delete the internet!.
Chuck Norris doesnt do push ups, he pushes the world down!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris doesnt do push ups, he pushes the world down!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I don't know if you know this but Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a who has more testicles contest!.
Chuck won by three!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck won by three!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Good Luck to that and let me know if you get the response, coz I would like to have some engraved in my diary tooWww@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down!Www@Enter-QA@Com