Anbody think of a funny joke?!
Question: Anbody think of a funny joke!?
Can you answer this question with a funny joke
it has to be readable and a joke that can be dirty or not and the punchline is not expectedWww@Enter-QA@Com
it has to be readable and a joke that can be dirty or not and the punchline is not expectedWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Mini Meanie
The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players!. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition!.
"Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win!."
"Done," shouted the young golfer!. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily!.
When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker!. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records!. What is it!?"
"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar!.
A man was in a bad accident and was injured!. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious!. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company!.
It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm!. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business!. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them!. The last question of the interview was always the same!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the first candidate!.
"Yes!. You have no ears!."
He quickly eliminated the first candidate!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the second candidate!.
"Yes!. You have no ears!."
He quickly eliminated the second candidate!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the third candidate!.
"Yes!. You're wearing contacts!."
Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct!. How did you know!?"
"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears!."
The Popular Mule
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place!. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly!.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by!. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "Yes" and say something!. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No" and mumble a reply!. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about!.
The farmer replied, ''The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was!.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule!?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't!. It's all booked up for a year!.
Circumcision!.!.!. At Your Age!?
Two men are sharing a hospital room!.
"What are you in for!?" The first man says!.
"I'm getting a circumcision," his roommate replies!.
"Damn," exclaims the first man, "I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year!"
Supermarket Mother
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around!. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on!. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him!.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable!. It's just that you look just like my son who just died recently!."
"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for you!?"
"Yes," she said!. "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye mother'!? It would make me feel much better!."
"Sure," answered the young man!. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye mother!"
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127!.50!. "How can that be!?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk!.
this little boy with a speech impediment on his "r's" walks into a pet store one day
he asks the lady, "can i get some biwdseed!?"
the lady says, "i'm not giving you any birdseed until you learn how to talk appropriately!."
the second day he comes back again and asks, "can i pwease get some biwdseed!?"
the lady gets a little frustrated and says "im NOT giving you any birdseed unless you can say it correctly!"
the third day the boy comes back and asks again, "can i PWEASE get some biwdseed for my biwd!?!"
the lady gets frustrated again and says "young man i told you before i am NOT selling you any biRRRdseed unless you can talk like a gentleman!"
so the next the the boy comes back and asks, "would you like a dead biwd!?!"
A couple was renting a house, which is right next to the railroad tracks!. The woman told the landlord that every time the train went by it shook the house so much that it nearly knocked her out of the bed!.
One morning the landlord was at the house checking something and the woman was complaining about the train business!.
"You have to be joking," the landlord said!.
"Look, I'm telling you it's true and I'll prove it to you!. The 8 o'clock train is due any minute, come upstairs and you'll see for yourself!." So the two of them go upstairs to the bedroom and the woman lays on the bed!. "Lay down beside me and you can experience it for yourself!."
So the landlord laid beside the woman on the bed when her husband walked into the bedroom!.
"All right," the husband said, "what's going on here!?"
The landlord said, "You're not going to believe this, but we're waiting for a train!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players!. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition!.
"Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win!."
"Done," shouted the young golfer!. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily!.
When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker!. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records!. What is it!?"
"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar!.
A man was in a bad accident and was injured!. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious!. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company!.
It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm!. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business!. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them!. The last question of the interview was always the same!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the first candidate!.
"Yes!. You have no ears!."
He quickly eliminated the first candidate!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the second candidate!.
"Yes!. You have no ears!."
He quickly eliminated the second candidate!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the third candidate!.
"Yes!. You're wearing contacts!."
Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct!. How did you know!?"
"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears!."
The Popular Mule
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place!. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly!.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by!. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "Yes" and say something!. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No" and mumble a reply!. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about!.
The farmer replied, ''The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was!.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule!?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't!. It's all booked up for a year!.
Circumcision!.!.!. At Your Age!?
Two men are sharing a hospital room!.
"What are you in for!?" The first man says!.
"I'm getting a circumcision," his roommate replies!.
"Damn," exclaims the first man, "I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year!"
Supermarket Mother
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around!. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on!. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him!.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable!. It's just that you look just like my son who just died recently!."
"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for you!?"
"Yes," she said!. "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye mother'!? It would make me feel much better!."
"Sure," answered the young man!. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye mother!"
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127!.50!. "How can that be!?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk!.
this little boy with a speech impediment on his "r's" walks into a pet store one day
he asks the lady, "can i get some biwdseed!?"
the lady says, "i'm not giving you any birdseed until you learn how to talk appropriately!."
the second day he comes back again and asks, "can i pwease get some biwdseed!?"
the lady gets a little frustrated and says "im NOT giving you any birdseed unless you can say it correctly!"
the third day the boy comes back and asks again, "can i PWEASE get some biwdseed for my biwd!?!"
the lady gets frustrated again and says "young man i told you before i am NOT selling you any biRRRdseed unless you can talk like a gentleman!"
so the next the the boy comes back and asks, "would you like a dead biwd!?!"
A couple was renting a house, which is right next to the railroad tracks!. The woman told the landlord that every time the train went by it shook the house so much that it nearly knocked her out of the bed!.
One morning the landlord was at the house checking something and the woman was complaining about the train business!.
"You have to be joking," the landlord said!.
"Look, I'm telling you it's true and I'll prove it to you!. The 8 o'clock train is due any minute, come upstairs and you'll see for yourself!." So the two of them go upstairs to the bedroom and the woman lays on the bed!. "Lay down beside me and you can experience it for yourself!."
So the landlord laid beside the woman on the bed when her husband walked into the bedroom!.
"All right," the husband said, "what's going on here!?"
The landlord said, "You're not going to believe this, but we're waiting for a train!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The Ventriloquist!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one
night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas!.
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through
his usual dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the
4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes!. What
makes you think you can stereotype women that way!?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with
her worth as a human being!? It's guys like you who keep
women like me from being respected at work and in the
community and from reaching our full potential as a
person!. Because you and your kind continue to
perpetuate discrimination against not only blonds, but
women in general!.!.!.and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and
the blond yells, "You stay out of this mister! I'm
talking to that little jerk on your lap!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one
night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas!.
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through
his usual dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the
4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes!. What
makes you think you can stereotype women that way!?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with
her worth as a human being!? It's guys like you who keep
women like me from being respected at work and in the
community and from reaching our full potential as a
person!. Because you and your kind continue to
perpetuate discrimination against not only blonds, but
women in general!.!.!.and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and
the blond yells, "You stay out of this mister! I'm
talking to that little jerk on your lap!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
an old lady goes to an ice cream parlor and asks for chocolate!. the young man behind the counter says 'I'm sorry, we are out of chocolate'!. the old woman then says 'OK!. ill have chocolate then'!. the man thinks she must not have heard him properly and says more clearly 'I'm sorry but we are out of chocolate'!. the old woman then says 'o, OK!. ill have chocolate then'!. the young man gets a little frustrated and says to the lady 'spell van as in vanilla'!. the lady says 'V!.A!.N!.'!. the man then says 'good!. now spell straw as in strawberry'!. the woman then says 'S!.T!.R!.A!.W!.'!. the man then says 'very good!. now spell f**k as in chocolate'!. the woman thinks for a while then replies 'there is no f**k in chocolate'!. the man quickly replies 'that's what i have been trying to tell you'!.
did you hear about the blind circumsizer!?
he got the sack!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
did you hear about the blind circumsizer!?
he got the sack!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
so it's not mine, I heard it on "Two and a Half Men"!. (Jake said it)
"If women with big breasts work at Hooters, where do girls with one leg work!?"
***IHOP***
I know its a little crude, but still funny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
"If women with big breasts work at Hooters, where do girls with one leg work!?"
***IHOP***
I know its a little crude, but still funny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
i have one
what did the girl camal say to the boy camel
" like how i hump!?"
its kinda gross but still funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
what did the girl camal say to the boy camel
" like how i hump!?"
its kinda gross but still funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com