Whoever tells the funniest joke wins!?!
Question: Whoever tells the funniest joke wins!!?
So, tell a joke!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
One day a blonde and a brunnette were walking in the park!. The brunnette looks down and sees a dead bird!."Aww,a dead bird!"Then the blonde looks up in the sky and says"Where!?!"
A blonde and a brunnette were sisters and decided to start a farm together!.They had $150!.00 to buy a bull!. The brunette went to the owner of the bull and bought it!. It cost $149!.99!. While she was driving home she ran out of gas!. She was next to a gas station that let people make telegraphs for1 cent!."You only have enough for one word!." said the manager!."choose carefully"!. It didn't take her long!." I want the word comfortable!."she said!. "Why!?" asked the manager!. "Well,my sister reads very slow!. Com for da bull!."
There was a magic cliff,that if you jump off of and say anything, you'll become it!. A brunnette jumped off!. "Eagle!" And she turned into an eagle!. A red-head ran off and said "Sparrow!" And she turned into a sparrow!. Then, a blonde ran up and tripped!. "Crap!"She turned into crap!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde and a brunnette were sisters and decided to start a farm together!.They had $150!.00 to buy a bull!. The brunette went to the owner of the bull and bought it!. It cost $149!.99!. While she was driving home she ran out of gas!. She was next to a gas station that let people make telegraphs for1 cent!."You only have enough for one word!." said the manager!."choose carefully"!. It didn't take her long!." I want the word comfortable!."she said!. "Why!?" asked the manager!. "Well,my sister reads very slow!. Com for da bull!."
There was a magic cliff,that if you jump off of and say anything, you'll become it!. A brunnette jumped off!. "Eagle!" And she turned into an eagle!. A red-head ran off and said "Sparrow!" And she turned into a sparrow!. Then, a blonde ran up and tripped!. "Crap!"She turned into crap!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven!.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in!. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven!.
Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please the angels to be able to see them every day, for eternity!."
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question!.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles!. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever!.
The Angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in!."
Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about!? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down!. She spits into a commode and she gets in! Would you explain that to me!?"
"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in!. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven!.
Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please the angels to be able to see them every day, for eternity!."
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question!.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles!. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever!.
The Angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in!."
Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about!? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down!. She spits into a commode and she gets in! Would you explain that to me!?"
"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Just before Christmas one year, a little boy was pulling an old dilapidated wagon along the sidewalk!. When he got right in front of the Catholic church, one of the wheels fell off!. He looked down at it & said, "Son-of-a-bit**!" The priest, who happened to be standing at the door, told him, "My son, whenever something like this happens to you, you shouldn't talk like that! You should say Hail Mary!. The boy promised to remember what the priest had told him!. On Christmas Day, the boy came by pulling a brand new wagon, & when he got in front of the church, all 4 wheels fell off the wagon!. The boy looked at the wagon, looked up at the priest, then back at the wagon, & said, "Hail Mary"! At this, all of the wheels immediately jumped back on the wagon!. Wide-eyed in disbelief, the priest said, "Son-of-a-bit**!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ok!. This blonde is driving her car down a street, and she turns on to a dirt road, while this guy swirves right behind her and crashes!.!.!. but the accident isn't too bad!. The guy gets out and draws a big circle in the dirt, and then walks over to the blonde, and tells her to stand in the circle and don't leave it or you'll have bad luck!. So the blonde stands in the circle, while the guy looks at her car!. He punches all the windows in!. The blonde starts laughing!. The guy turns around and looks confused!. But he starts slicing up the seats!. The blonde starts laughing even harder!. He turns around, and looks even more confused!. He then again turns to the car and starts stabbing all of the tires!. The blonde starts laughing so hard that the guy asked her "Wtf is so funny!?!"
The blonde replied!.!.!.
"Everytime you weren't looking, i stepped out of the circle!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
The blonde replied!.!.!.
"Everytime you weren't looking, i stepped out of the circle!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A nun and a priest were playing golf!. It was the priest's turn now and he misses "Holy sh*t! I missed!" Outraged the nun tells him"Don't swear, otherwise God will punish you!." The second time the priest misses again "Holy sh*t! I missed!" Again the nurse tells him "If you swear a third time, God will punish you for sure!." The priest misses a third time and curses again!. Suddenly there is a lightning that reaches the nun!. And a voice from the sky says "Holy sh*t! I missed!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
An American man, a Japanese man, and a Mexican man are standing on top of the Empire State Building!. Each of them are told to throw something they have too much in their country over!. The Japanese man is first!. He throws over sushi!. The Mexican man is next!. He throws a sombrero!. Finally it's the American man's turn!. He stands on the edge, turns around and picks up the Mexican man!.
No offense to any Mexicans who just may be reading this!. I heard this joke from someone else!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
No offense to any Mexicans who just may be reading this!. I heard this joke from someone else!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok this is my specialty!.
A woman remarried a man with a daughter!. Her Father married her step daughter!. So her daughter became her mother and daughter!. Then they had Kids!. those kids became her siblings and grandchildren Then they had kids!. They became her Great grandkids and nieces n nephews!. So all in the end, she became her own grandmother because She was her mother's mother!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A woman remarried a man with a daughter!. Her Father married her step daughter!. So her daughter became her mother and daughter!. Then they had Kids!. those kids became her siblings and grandchildren Then they had kids!. They became her Great grandkids and nieces n nephews!. So all in the end, she became her own grandmother because She was her mother's mother!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
---------Ed Zachary Disease
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time!. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist!. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr!. Chang!.
So she went to see him!. Upon entering the examination room Dr!. Chang said "OK take off all your crose!."
The woman did as she was told!. "Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room!."
Again the woman did as she was instructed!. Dr!. Chang then said "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me!.'
So she did!.
Dr!.Chang shook his head slowly and said "You probrem vewy bad!. You haf Ed Zachary diease!.
Worse case I ever see!. Dat why you not haf sex or dates!."
Worried the woman asked anxiously "Oh my God Dr!.Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease !?"
Dr!.Chang sighed deeply and replied "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your a@@!."-----------------------------------!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time!. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist!. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr!. Chang!.
So she went to see him!. Upon entering the examination room Dr!. Chang said "OK take off all your crose!."
The woman did as she was told!. "Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room!."
Again the woman did as she was instructed!. Dr!. Chang then said "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me!.'
So she did!.
Dr!.Chang shook his head slowly and said "You probrem vewy bad!. You haf Ed Zachary diease!.
Worse case I ever see!. Dat why you not haf sex or dates!."
Worried the woman asked anxiously "Oh my God Dr!.Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease !?"
Dr!.Chang sighed deeply and replied "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your a@@!."-----------------------------------!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Smartest Man in the World
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane!. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble!.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down!. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out!.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining!.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out!.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world!. I deserve to live!."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped!.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life!. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you!. Take the last parachute and live in peace!."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father!. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane!. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble!.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down!. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out!.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining!.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out!.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world!. I deserve to live!."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped!.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life!. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you!. Take the last parachute and live in peace!."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father!. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!.There is a four story duplex!.
A blind man lives on the first floor, A card player lives on the second floor and a Biker lives on a third floor and on the fourth floor lives a women who always takes showers!. One day she heard a knock on the door and she got out of the shower and wrapped around the towel and answered the door!. IT was the card player!. He said ,"Congratulate me I won a game of poker"!. A few days later she heard another knock on the door!. She wrapped a towel around herself and she answered the door!. It was the bike racer and he said, congratulate me, I won the tour de France!. The next day she got another knock on her door!. She assumed it would be the clind man so she didn't wrap the towel around herself!. She answered the door and it indeed was the blind man and he said, "congratulate me, I got my eyesight back!!!!
2!.A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in
it!. He turns around to
push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her
breast!. He says, "Oh, I'm
so sorry!. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be
able to forgive me!." She
looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right!. If your penis
is as hard as your
elbow, I'm in room 204!."
3!.There was a man who was watching TV when he heard his wife walk in!. He called her and said, "Can i please have a beer before it starts!?" She went and brought him a beer!. He drank it up quickly and asked again, "Can i please have a beer before it starts!?" HE drank it and once again he asked "Can i please have another beer before it starts!?"
And his wife said, "WHY DO U DRINK SO MUCH BEER!!? YOUR GONNA GET DRUNK! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" And the husband calmly replied, "it started"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blind man lives on the first floor, A card player lives on the second floor and a Biker lives on a third floor and on the fourth floor lives a women who always takes showers!. One day she heard a knock on the door and she got out of the shower and wrapped around the towel and answered the door!. IT was the card player!. He said ,"Congratulate me I won a game of poker"!. A few days later she heard another knock on the door!. She wrapped a towel around herself and she answered the door!. It was the bike racer and he said, congratulate me, I won the tour de France!. The next day she got another knock on her door!. She assumed it would be the clind man so she didn't wrap the towel around herself!. She answered the door and it indeed was the blind man and he said, "congratulate me, I got my eyesight back!!!!
2!.A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in
it!. He turns around to
push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her
breast!. He says, "Oh, I'm
so sorry!. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be
able to forgive me!." She
looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right!. If your penis
is as hard as your
elbow, I'm in room 204!."
3!.There was a man who was watching TV when he heard his wife walk in!. He called her and said, "Can i please have a beer before it starts!?" She went and brought him a beer!. He drank it up quickly and asked again, "Can i please have a beer before it starts!?" HE drank it and once again he asked "Can i please have another beer before it starts!?"
And his wife said, "WHY DO U DRINK SO MUCH BEER!!? YOUR GONNA GET DRUNK! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" And the husband calmly replied, "it started"Www@Enter-QA@Com
a boy was loooking 4 his father so he approached a cop !.!.the cop said!.!.ok wat does ur father look like!? the boy said ''beer and football''Www@Enter-QA@Com
2 men walk into a building!.
youd think 1 of them wud hav seen it!Www@Enter-QA@Com
youd think 1 of them wud hav seen it!Www@Enter-QA@Com
why'd the toilet paper roll down the hill!?
to get to the bottom!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
to get to the bottom!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Whats the difference between a man and a bird!?
A man cant eat with his peckerWww@Enter-QA@Com
A man cant eat with his peckerWww@Enter-QA@Com