Really down & heartbroken...share a joke ?!
Question: Really down & heartbroken!.!.!.share a joke !?
thank yow :-)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
aww!.!.!.!.well heres a huge lot!.!.!.
NO OFFENCE TO BLONDES
Q!. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg!?
A!. Nothing, they haven't met!
Q!. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball!?
A!. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball!.
Wats the difference between Bill Clinton and God!?
God doesnt think he's bill clinton
Q!. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day!?
A!. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil!.
Q!. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant!?
A!. "Are you sure it's mine!?"
Q!. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common!?
A!. Their both empty from the neck up
Q!. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor!?
A!. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
There is a guy!. His favorite bar is called 'Sally's Legs'!. The bar is closed, so he waits outside for it to open!. He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked, "What are you doing!?" The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can get a drink!."
HILARIOUS ANAGRAMS
Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
The Morse Code = Here Come Dots
Microsoft Windows = Sown in discomfort
John Mayer = Enjoy harm
Belgium = Big mule
The eyes = They see
Barbie doll = Liberal bod
George Bush = He bugs Gore
Waitress = A stew, Sir!?
Guinness draught = naughtiness drug
Breasts = Bra sets
The Titanic disaster = Death, it starts in ice
Apple Products = Support Placed
Western Union = No Wire Unsent
Bruce Springsteen = Creep brings tunes
Tom Cruise = So I'm Cuter
vegetarian = ate in grave
graduation = out in a drag
Dick Cheney = Needy Chick
Debit card = Bad credit
A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place
Jennifer Aniston = fine in torn jeans
Achievements = Nice, save them
Clothespins = So Let's Pinch
Christine = Nice Shirt
Spice Girls = Pig Slices
The Cincinnati Reds = Indecent Christian
Dormitory = Dirty Room
Confessional = On scale of sin
David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV
Princess Diana = end is a car spin
President W = Newest Drip
Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free
Laxative = exit lava
Evangelist = Evil's Agent
George W Bush = he grew bogus
Beavis and Butthead = Thus, be a bad deviant
Astronomer = moon starer
Apple, Inc = Epic Plan
San Francisco Giants- Fascinating, No scars
Pre Calculus = Call up curse
Stupid Girl = Drips Guilt
madonna louise ciccone = one cool dance musician
The United States of America = Attaineth its cause, freedom
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
Dancing with the stars = Winners had tight acts
Sherlock Holmes = He'll mesh crooks
Frito Lay = Oily Fart
Baseball = Babes All
Christina Aguilera = Ugly Satanic Hair
Conversation = Voices Rant On
President Bush = Burnished Pest
Action man = cannot aim
The Simpson's = men's hot piss
Year two thousand = a year to shut down
Debit card = Bad Credit
shower time = where moist
Santa Monica = satanic moan
goodbye = Obey god
ipod lover = poor devil
Narcissism = Man's crisis
Actor Sylvester Stallone = Very cool talentless star
Funeral = Real Fun
comfort is = microsoft
Hot water = Worth tea
Television programming = Permeating living rooms
Margaret Thatcher = That great charmer
Darling I love you = Avoiding our yell
The Country Side = No City Dust Here
Flamethrower = oh, felt warmer
Clint Eastwood = Old West Action
Ronald Wilson Reagan = Insane Anglo Warlord
Saddam Hussain = Humans sad side
Sheryl crow = her slow cry
Howard Stern = Retard Shown
Ladybug = bald guy
Astronomers = No more stars
Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's
A Gentleman = Elegant Man
I hate school = oh so ethical
No admittance = contaminated
Microwave = Warm Voice
Austin Powers = power us satin
T!.S!. Eliot = toilets
A telescope = To see place
Elvis = lives
Justin Timberlake = im a jerk but listen
Mel Gibson = Big Melons
The Apple Macintosh = Machines apt to help
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
Christmas = Trims cash
The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil
Schoolmaster = The classroom
A shoplifter = has to pilfer
listen = silent
Chemistry = ****, me cry
Gene Simmons = Immense Song
A Domesticated Animal = Docile, as a Man Tamed it
Garbage Man = Bag Manager
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T
10!. Nuts!.!.!.my shaft is bent!.
9!. After 18 holes I can barely walk!.
8!. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker!.
7!. Look at the size of his putter!.
6!. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more!.
5!. Mind if I join your threesome!?
4!. Stand with your back turned and drop it!.
3!. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip!.
2!. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired!.
1!. Hold up!.!.!.I need to wash my balls first!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
NO OFFENCE TO BLONDES
Q!. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg!?
A!. Nothing, they haven't met!
Q!. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball!?
A!. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball!.
Wats the difference between Bill Clinton and God!?
God doesnt think he's bill clinton
Q!. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day!?
A!. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil!.
Q!. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant!?
A!. "Are you sure it's mine!?"
Q!. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common!?
A!. Their both empty from the neck up
Q!. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor!?
A!. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
There is a guy!. His favorite bar is called 'Sally's Legs'!. The bar is closed, so he waits outside for it to open!. He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked, "What are you doing!?" The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can get a drink!."
HILARIOUS ANAGRAMS
Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
The Morse Code = Here Come Dots
Microsoft Windows = Sown in discomfort
John Mayer = Enjoy harm
Belgium = Big mule
The eyes = They see
Barbie doll = Liberal bod
George Bush = He bugs Gore
Waitress = A stew, Sir!?
Guinness draught = naughtiness drug
Breasts = Bra sets
The Titanic disaster = Death, it starts in ice
Apple Products = Support Placed
Western Union = No Wire Unsent
Bruce Springsteen = Creep brings tunes
Tom Cruise = So I'm Cuter
vegetarian = ate in grave
graduation = out in a drag
Dick Cheney = Needy Chick
Debit card = Bad credit
A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place
Jennifer Aniston = fine in torn jeans
Achievements = Nice, save them
Clothespins = So Let's Pinch
Christine = Nice Shirt
Spice Girls = Pig Slices
The Cincinnati Reds = Indecent Christian
Dormitory = Dirty Room
Confessional = On scale of sin
David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV
Princess Diana = end is a car spin
President W = Newest Drip
Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free
Laxative = exit lava
Evangelist = Evil's Agent
George W Bush = he grew bogus
Beavis and Butthead = Thus, be a bad deviant
Astronomer = moon starer
Apple, Inc = Epic Plan
San Francisco Giants- Fascinating, No scars
Pre Calculus = Call up curse
Stupid Girl = Drips Guilt
madonna louise ciccone = one cool dance musician
The United States of America = Attaineth its cause, freedom
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
Dancing with the stars = Winners had tight acts
Sherlock Holmes = He'll mesh crooks
Frito Lay = Oily Fart
Baseball = Babes All
Christina Aguilera = Ugly Satanic Hair
Conversation = Voices Rant On
President Bush = Burnished Pest
Action man = cannot aim
The Simpson's = men's hot piss
Year two thousand = a year to shut down
Debit card = Bad Credit
shower time = where moist
Santa Monica = satanic moan
goodbye = Obey god
ipod lover = poor devil
Narcissism = Man's crisis
Actor Sylvester Stallone = Very cool talentless star
Funeral = Real Fun
comfort is = microsoft
Hot water = Worth tea
Television programming = Permeating living rooms
Margaret Thatcher = That great charmer
Darling I love you = Avoiding our yell
The Country Side = No City Dust Here
Flamethrower = oh, felt warmer
Clint Eastwood = Old West Action
Ronald Wilson Reagan = Insane Anglo Warlord
Saddam Hussain = Humans sad side
Sheryl crow = her slow cry
Howard Stern = Retard Shown
Ladybug = bald guy
Astronomers = No more stars
Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's
A Gentleman = Elegant Man
I hate school = oh so ethical
No admittance = contaminated
Microwave = Warm Voice
Austin Powers = power us satin
T!.S!. Eliot = toilets
A telescope = To see place
Elvis = lives
Justin Timberlake = im a jerk but listen
Mel Gibson = Big Melons
The Apple Macintosh = Machines apt to help
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
Christmas = Trims cash
The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil
Schoolmaster = The classroom
A shoplifter = has to pilfer
listen = silent
Chemistry = ****, me cry
Gene Simmons = Immense Song
A Domesticated Animal = Docile, as a Man Tamed it
Garbage Man = Bag Manager
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T
10!. Nuts!.!.!.my shaft is bent!.
9!. After 18 holes I can barely walk!.
8!. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker!.
7!. Look at the size of his putter!.
6!. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more!.
5!. Mind if I join your threesome!?
4!. Stand with your back turned and drop it!.
3!. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip!.
2!. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired!.
1!. Hold up!.!.!.I need to wash my balls first!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church!. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels!.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels!. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will!.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery!. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it!. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week!.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation!. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town!. Three days later, the squirrels were back!.
But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution!. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church!. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels!. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will!.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery!. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it!. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week!.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation!. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town!. Three days later, the squirrels were back!.
But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution!. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church!. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q What sort of dough nuts does Bob Marley like!?
A Ones with Jammin
Q What did Bob Marley say to his drummer!?
A I hope you like Jammin too!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A Ones with Jammin
Q What did Bob Marley say to his drummer!?
A I hope you like Jammin too!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why do Seagulls fly over the sea!?
Because if they flew over bays they would be baygulls!.
:-)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Because if they flew over bays they would be baygulls!.
:-)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Haha urs is good!.
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country!. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time!.
The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek!.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek!. So he got a large stick and started pushing!. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away!.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper!.
Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why!.
The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today!. It was you, wasn't it son!?"
The boy answered yes!. Then he thought a moment an d said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth!."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country!. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time!.
The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek!.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek!. So he got a large stick and started pushing!. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away!.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper!.
Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why!.
The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today!. It was you, wasn't it son!?"
The boy answered yes!. Then he thought a moment an d said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth!."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree!."Www@Enter-QA@Com