FUNNIEST JOKE you've ever heard?!
Question: FUNNIEST JOKE you've ever heard!?
I need to laugh people, no links to jokes, just list the funniest joke you've ever heard or just heard recently!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
This one really only works in person but it goes like this:
There's a pimp and he has 2 Hoes!. He goes up to the first Hoe and says, "Where my hundred dollaz at!?" the Hoe says, "$100!?!? I thought it was $50!"!. The pimp slaps her and says, "Don't correct me b**ch!!" The pimp then goes up to the second Hoe and says, "Where my hundred dollaz at!?" then the Hoe says, "$100!?!? I thought it was $75!"!. The pimp slaps her and says, "Don't correct me b**ch!!" The pimp then goes up to the 3rd Hoe (At this point the person listening to the joke will be like "Hey wait you said there was only 2 Hoes!") Then you slap THEM and say, "Don't correct me b**ch!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
There's a pimp and he has 2 Hoes!. He goes up to the first Hoe and says, "Where my hundred dollaz at!?" the Hoe says, "$100!?!? I thought it was $50!"!. The pimp slaps her and says, "Don't correct me b**ch!!" The pimp then goes up to the second Hoe and says, "Where my hundred dollaz at!?" then the Hoe says, "$100!?!? I thought it was $75!"!. The pimp slaps her and says, "Don't correct me b**ch!!" The pimp then goes up to the 3rd Hoe (At this point the person listening to the joke will be like "Hey wait you said there was only 2 Hoes!") Then you slap THEM and say, "Don't correct me b**ch!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!.Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days!?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125!.
2!.A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana!.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking!.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest!. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator!.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand!.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her!. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank!.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures!. The shopkeeper watched in amazement!.
Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back!. Frustrated, she shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
3!.A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas!.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes!.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way!?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being!?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general!.!.!.and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125!.
2!.A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana!.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking!.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest!. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator!.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand!.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her!. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank!.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures!. The shopkeeper watched in amazement!.
Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back!. Frustrated, she shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
3!.A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas!.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes!.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way!?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being!?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general!.!.!.and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
I couldn't pick my favorite, so here's both:
A newly ordained priest is nervous about hearing confessions and asks an older priest to observe one of his sessions to give him some tips!. After a few minutes of listening, the old priest suggests that they have a word!. “I’ve got a few suggestions,” he says!. “Try folding your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand!.” The new priest tries this!. “Very good,” says his senior!. “Now try saying things like 'I see', 'I understand' and 'Yes, go on!.'” The younger priest practices these sayings, too!. “Well done,” says the older priest!. “Don't you think that's better than slapping your knee and saying: “No way! What happened next!?”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping!. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep!. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see!.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars!.”
Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that!?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there!. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life!.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!.”
Hope you like them!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A newly ordained priest is nervous about hearing confessions and asks an older priest to observe one of his sessions to give him some tips!. After a few minutes of listening, the old priest suggests that they have a word!. “I’ve got a few suggestions,” he says!. “Try folding your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand!.” The new priest tries this!. “Very good,” says his senior!. “Now try saying things like 'I see', 'I understand' and 'Yes, go on!.'” The younger priest practices these sayings, too!. “Well done,” says the older priest!. “Don't you think that's better than slapping your knee and saying: “No way! What happened next!?”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping!. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep!. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see!.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars!.”
Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that!?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there!. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life!.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!.”
Hope you like them!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A red head walks into her doctors office and tell him that every time i touch myself it hurts!. Imposable the doctor says show me!. So the red head touches her knee and screams in pain she then touches her nose and screams in pain!. Enough the doctor says your not really a red head are you!. NO she says i was once a blonde!. I fiqured the doctor says because your finger is brokenWww@Enter-QA@Com
Read my joke
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q: How do you get an elephant into a Safeway cart!?
A: You take the S out of "safe" and the F out of "way!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A: You take the S out of "safe" and the F out of "way!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
My sister asked me, “Do you think I’ll get married!?” I said, “Yes, many times!.”Www@Enter-QA@Com
A guy walks into a bar and says "****, how did I miss that!? That hurt!"Www@Enter-QA@Com