Can you help me make this sound more good that what i have?!
Question: Can you help me make this sound more good that what i have!?
Emma!. Emma had cascading rad and pink hair that framed her face perfectly!. Emma has aways walked in the rain!.she had a flower that talked!. Emma has not heard her flower talk before!.
When she heard her flower talk Emma wanted to share it with the town so she went into town and told people that she has a flower that talks!.
No one belived her so she went home and got her flower and went back into town!. To show the towns people that she has a talking flower !. The people in the town said I well love to hear the flower talk!. Ok said Emma!. Then Emma said came on flower talk but the flower do not say anything!.
You told us that you had a talking flower and it is not talking!. So we do not belive the flower talking till we see and hear it !. then a week went by and the flower was talk at home but when I went in to town and the flower do not talk at all!.
Tell one day it just come out with some words and some one hear it and then the people that hear the flower talk the people in the town heard the flower talk then everyone wanted to see the flower to hear what it had to say to everyone the towns people made a garden for the talking flower so everytone could come and visit the flower and hear what it has to say!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
When she heard her flower talk Emma wanted to share it with the town so she went into town and told people that she has a flower that talks!.
No one belived her so she went home and got her flower and went back into town!. To show the towns people that she has a talking flower !. The people in the town said I well love to hear the flower talk!. Ok said Emma!. Then Emma said came on flower talk but the flower do not say anything!.
You told us that you had a talking flower and it is not talking!. So we do not belive the flower talking till we see and hear it !. then a week went by and the flower was talk at home but when I went in to town and the flower do not talk at all!.
Tell one day it just come out with some words and some one hear it and then the people that hear the flower talk the people in the town heard the flower talk then everyone wanted to see the flower to hear what it had to say to everyone the towns people made a garden for the talking flower so everytone could come and visit the flower and hear what it has to say!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Emma was a beautiful woman with cascading red and pink hair!. One day while Emma was walking the the rain, she found a talking flower!.
After hearing the flower talk, Emma ran to the town to tell people she had a talking flower!. The towns people didn't believe her, so she went home and got the talking flower!.
When Emma got back to the town, the people crowded around her so they could see the talking flower!. When Emma showed them the flower, it said nothing and the townsfolk were disapointed!.
" You told us that you had a talking flower", said one townsfolk!. "We will not believe it untill we see the flower talk", said another!.
A week passed and Emma kept the flower at home!. Every time she went out to town the fower would stop talking!.
Untill one day, a townsfolk was walking past Emma's house and heard the flower speak!. They wet into town and told everyone that the flower really could talk!. So everybody went to Emma's house and saw Emma talking to the flower!.
"Sorry we didn't believe you Emma", they all said!.
And so, the tale of the talking flower spread wide and far!. And still to this day many people come to the town in hopes of geting to see the mysterious talking flower!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
After hearing the flower talk, Emma ran to the town to tell people she had a talking flower!. The towns people didn't believe her, so she went home and got the talking flower!.
When Emma got back to the town, the people crowded around her so they could see the talking flower!. When Emma showed them the flower, it said nothing and the townsfolk were disapointed!.
" You told us that you had a talking flower", said one townsfolk!. "We will not believe it untill we see the flower talk", said another!.
A week passed and Emma kept the flower at home!. Every time she went out to town the fower would stop talking!.
Untill one day, a townsfolk was walking past Emma's house and heard the flower speak!. They wet into town and told everyone that the flower really could talk!. So everybody went to Emma's house and saw Emma talking to the flower!.
"Sorry we didn't believe you Emma", they all said!.
And so, the tale of the talking flower spread wide and far!. And still to this day many people come to the town in hopes of geting to see the mysterious talking flower!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
this is very nice!. A little strange, but still!. I think it needs more pauses in speech!. e!.g:
"no one believed her (,) so she went home and got her flower and went back into town!. To show the towns people that she has a talking flower !. The people in the town said(,) I well love to hear the flower talk!. Ok (,) said Emma!. Then Emma said came on flower talk(,) but the flower do not say anything!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
"no one believed her (,) so she went home and got her flower and went back into town!. To show the towns people that she has a talking flower !. The people in the town said(,) I well love to hear the flower talk!. Ok (,) said Emma!. Then Emma said came on flower talk(,) but the flower do not say anything!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
um, why is this listed under Jokes & Riddles!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
nope, sounds good!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
You have a lot of mistakes, for instance you wrote tell instead of till, you have spaces in between words and full stops and some words should have a capital letter at the beginning but they don't!. My point is that you just have to reread what you have written!.
You also don't need to say Emma twice at the beginning!. Why is the colour of her hair and how she likes to walk in the rain mentioned!? In a short story every detail needs to relate to the rest of the story!. Maybe you could write she was a kind girl that always told the truth, that would have relevance because she is telling the truth when she tells the people about the talking flower!.
Hope this helps!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
You also don't need to say Emma twice at the beginning!. Why is the colour of her hair and how she likes to walk in the rain mentioned!? In a short story every detail needs to relate to the rest of the story!. Maybe you could write she was a kind girl that always told the truth, that would have relevance because she is telling the truth when she tells the people about the talking flower!.
Hope this helps!!Www@Enter-QA@Com