Your favourite joke? its a bad day - help me laugh until i cry! please!?!
Question: Your favourite joke!? its a bad day - help me laugh until i cry! please!!?
Answers:
Ok, here's my favorite joke of all time:
What does a gay horse eat!? Haaaaaaaayyyy!!!!
Gosh, that doesn't work too well if you type it out!. You have to say "haaaaay" really high and whiny like some gay people, and then snap your fingers and wave your hand around your face!.!.!.
Geez!.!.!. I'm sorry!.
At the movies the other day, we had to wear 3D glasses, and so I leaned over to the person next to me and asked how do we turn them on, and I thought it would make him laugh, but he just looked at me like I'm crazy!. Which I might be!Www@Enter-QA@Com
What does a gay horse eat!? Haaaaaaaayyyy!!!!
Gosh, that doesn't work too well if you type it out!. You have to say "haaaaay" really high and whiny like some gay people, and then snap your fingers and wave your hand around your face!.!.!.
Geez!.!.!. I'm sorry!.
At the movies the other day, we had to wear 3D glasses, and so I leaned over to the person next to me and asked how do we turn them on, and I thought it would make him laugh, but he just looked at me like I'm crazy!. Which I might be!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A Rabi is retiring after many years of service and he wants to give himself a special gift to honor his service!. Over the years he had collected the foreskins from all of the boys he circumcised, so he decides to take them to a leather smith and get something made from them!. He drops them off and the leather smith tells him to return in one week and he will have made him something nice!. A week later the Rabi returns and the leather smith hands him a wallet!. The Rabbi is confused and he looks at the leather smith and says, you mean after all of those years and all of those foreskins all you could make me was a wallet!. Oh says the leather smith don't you worry, if you rub it the wallet will turn in to a suitcase!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Before i Tell You This How Old Are U,The Joke is NOT 4 KIDS dont report abuse, This had my gym class going for weeks
Rhyme: The sadness of sex
Kissing's a pleasure
*******'s a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
He says he loves you, and you believe it's true
Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you!.
10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain
3 days in hospital, a child without a name
The baby's a bastard
The mother's a whore
This never would have happened if the rubber hadn't toreWww@Enter-QA@Com
Rhyme: The sadness of sex
Kissing's a pleasure
*******'s a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
He says he loves you, and you believe it's true
Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you!.
10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain
3 days in hospital, a child without a name
The baby's a bastard
The mother's a whore
This never would have happened if the rubber hadn't toreWww@Enter-QA@Com
Principal to student!.!.!." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette!.!.!.!? "
**************************************!.!.!.
Class teacher once said :
" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
**************************************!.!.!.
once hindi teacher said!.!.!.!."i'm going out of the world to america!.!.!."
**************************************!.!.!.
"!.!.DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK!.!."
**************************************!.!.!.
dont!.!.laugh at the back benches!.!.!.otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down!.!.!.!.!.
**************************************!.!.!.
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered!.!. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem!. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
**************************************!.!.!.
teacher in a furious mood!.!.!.
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
**************************************!.!.!.
"shhh!.!.!. quiet!.!.!. the principal is revolving around college"
**************************************!.!.!.
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
**************************************!.!.!.
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
**************************************!.!.!.
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
****************************** *************
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE" ( as a punishment)
**************************************!.!.!.
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us!.!.!.
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
**************************************!.!.!.
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
**************************************!.!.!.
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class!?!"
**************************************!.!.!.
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code!.!.
"I understand!. You understand!. Computer how understand!?!?
**************************************!.!.!.
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class!.!.
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"Www@Enter-QA@Com
**************************************!.!.!.
Class teacher once said :
" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
**************************************!.!.!.
once hindi teacher said!.!.!.!."i'm going out of the world to america!.!.!."
**************************************!.!.!.
"!.!.DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK!.!."
**************************************!.!.!.
dont!.!.laugh at the back benches!.!.!.otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down!.!.!.!.!.
**************************************!.!.!.
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered!.!. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem!. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
**************************************!.!.!.
teacher in a furious mood!.!.!.
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
**************************************!.!.!.
"shhh!.!.!. quiet!.!.!. the principal is revolving around college"
**************************************!.!.!.
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
**************************************!.!.!.
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
**************************************!.!.!.
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
****************************** *************
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE" ( as a punishment)
**************************************!.!.!.
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us!.!.!.
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
**************************************!.!.!.
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
**************************************!.!.!.
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class!?!"
**************************************!.!.!.
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code!.!.
"I understand!. You understand!. Computer how understand!?!?
**************************************!.!.!.
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class!.!.
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"Www@Enter-QA@Com
I have no jokes but go to this;
www!.youtube!.com
from there type in : pheobe buffay cellphone
and click on the first thing there!.
I cried till i cried and then got a stomach ulsar!.
Its so funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
www!.youtube!.com
from there type in : pheobe buffay cellphone
and click on the first thing there!.
I cried till i cried and then got a stomach ulsar!.
Its so funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q: what did the son-corn said to his mother!?
A: mom, where's popcorn!?
haha!. i know, CORNy right!? but i hope i made you laughWww@Enter-QA@Com
A: mom, where's popcorn!?
haha!. i know, CORNy right!? but i hope i made you laughWww@Enter-QA@Com
What is a blondes favorite nursery rhyme!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. me and dump me!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.hahahahahaha wut a laugh get it!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
i know what u feel like this always cheered me up haha check this out
http://youtube!.com/watch!?v=JjGd1C6E4ysWww@Enter-QA@Com
http://youtube!.com/watch!?v=JjGd1C6E4ysWww@Enter-QA@Com
I read this along time ago here and it always makes me laugh
Why did the chicken cross the road !?
to visit its friends at KFC
LOL hope it makes u laugh and have a great day !Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why did the chicken cross the road !?
to visit its friends at KFC
LOL hope it makes u laugh and have a great day !Www@Enter-QA@Com
LOL kk no one report abuse or anything cuzz we are telling jokes but
How man jews can u fit into a car !?!?!?
3 in the back
2 in the front
and 50 in the ash trey lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
How man jews can u fit into a car !?!?!?
3 in the back
2 in the front
and 50 in the ash trey lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
Pyramidhead walks into a bar!.
There were no survivors!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There were no survivors!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
what dya call a sponge in a cheese factory!?
mistaken identity!Www@Enter-QA@Com
mistaken identity!Www@Enter-QA@Com
What's the difference between an old lady and a rooster!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do u call cheese that aint yours!?!?!?!?!?!?
nacho cheeeeeeeese!!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
nacho cheeeeeeeese!!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
# Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean!.
# Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down!.
# Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!.
# The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out!. It failed miserably!.
# Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth!. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield!.
# Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes!. Chuck Norris has 72!.!.!. and they're all poisonous!.
# If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til!." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what!?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face!.
# Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls!.
# When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack!. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever!.
# The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist!.
# Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices!. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear!.
# CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot *** kicking in real-time!.
# Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!.
# There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live!.
# Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz!. steaks in one hour!. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress!.
# What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died!? His shoe!.
# Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis!.
# Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11!.!.!.!. a suicide!.
# Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter!. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out!.
# Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them!.
# A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people!. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there!.
# Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009!. His state flower will be the Magnolia!.
# Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off!. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre!.
# If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win!. Forever!.
# Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick!. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch!."
# Fool me once, shame on you!. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face!.
# The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade!.
# Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
# Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit!. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees!. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer!.
# Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill!.
# Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone!. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made!.
# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship!.
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate!.
# Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse!.!.!. horses are hung like Chuck Norris!.
# Faster than a speeding bullet !.!.!. more powerful than a locomotive !.!.!. able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!.!.!. yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises!.
# Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face!.
# In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine!. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer!.
# Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA!. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That!?"
# Time waits for no man!. Unless that man is Chuck Norris!.
# Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one!. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face!. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking!.
# Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths!.
# The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn!.
# In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself!.
# According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks!.
# Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies!. He potato-sacks them!.
# Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face!.
# When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket!.
# There are no steroids in baseball!. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on!.
# Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles!?" contest!. Chuck Norris won by 5!.
# Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died!. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible!. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries!.
# Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
# Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down!.
# Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!.
# The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out!. It failed miserably!.
# Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth!. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield!.
# Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes!. Chuck Norris has 72!.!.!. and they're all poisonous!.
# If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til!." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what!?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face!.
# Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls!.
# When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack!. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever!.
# The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist!.
# Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices!. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear!.
# CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot *** kicking in real-time!.
# Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!.
# There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live!.
# Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz!. steaks in one hour!. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress!.
# What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died!? His shoe!.
# Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis!.
# Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11!.!.!.!. a suicide!.
# Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter!. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out!.
# Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them!.
# A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people!. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there!.
# Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009!. His state flower will be the Magnolia!.
# Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off!. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre!.
# If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win!. Forever!.
# Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick!. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch!."
# Fool me once, shame on you!. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face!.
# The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade!.
# Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
# Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit!. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees!. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer!.
# Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill!.
# Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone!. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made!.
# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship!.
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate!.
# Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse!.!.!. horses are hung like Chuck Norris!.
# Faster than a speeding bullet !.!.!. more powerful than a locomotive !.!.!. able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!.!.!. yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises!.
# Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face!.
# In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine!. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer!.
# Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA!. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That!?"
# Time waits for no man!. Unless that man is Chuck Norris!.
# Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one!. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face!. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking!.
# Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths!.
# The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn!.
# In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself!.
# According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks!.
# Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies!. He potato-sacks them!.
# Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face!.
# When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket!.
# There are no steroids in baseball!. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on!.
# Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles!?" contest!. Chuck Norris won by 5!.
# Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died!. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible!. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries!.
# Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year!.Www@Enter-QA@Com