I have the funniest joke ever!!! The quest is OVER!!!?!
Question: I have the funniest joke ever!!! The quest is OVER!!!!?
If you can top this I will give you best answer, and if you answer on any other one of my questions, I'll give you best answer on 4 others!. That's 50 points - but, that's only if you can top this!.
OK,
A little kid named Billy is throwing a party at his house, but his parents are verbally abusive to each other!. Billy was getting ready for his party when his parents started fighting!. "You're the biggest b---h EVER" Billy's dad said!. "Yeah, well you're a complete Bas---d!" His mom said!. Billy walked up and said "Dad, mom, what's a b---h and a Bas---d!?" and his mom said "a boy and a girl" so Billy goes outside and his neighbors were yelling at full blast "Put your p---s in my v-----a!" so Billy goes back home and says "mom, what's a p---s and a v-----a!?" and his mom says "a coat and a hat" so Billy goes upstairs and his dad's shaving!. "s--t! I cut myself!" "daddy, what's s--t!?" "a type of shaving cream" so Billy goes downstairs and his mom is cutting the turkey!. "f--k! I cut myself!Www@Enter-QA@Com
OK,
A little kid named Billy is throwing a party at his house, but his parents are verbally abusive to each other!. Billy was getting ready for his party when his parents started fighting!. "You're the biggest b---h EVER" Billy's dad said!. "Yeah, well you're a complete Bas---d!" His mom said!. Billy walked up and said "Dad, mom, what's a b---h and a Bas---d!?" and his mom said "a boy and a girl" so Billy goes outside and his neighbors were yelling at full blast "Put your p---s in my v-----a!" so Billy goes back home and says "mom, what's a p---s and a v-----a!?" and his mom says "a coat and a hat" so Billy goes upstairs and his dad's shaving!. "s--t! I cut myself!" "daddy, what's s--t!?" "a type of shaving cream" so Billy goes downstairs and his mom is cutting the turkey!. "f--k! I cut myself!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day!. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St!. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths!. So what's your story!?"
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed!. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding!. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off!. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers!. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay!. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly!. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy!."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in!.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story!.
"It's been a very strange day!. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony!. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge!. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me!. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony!. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me!. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands!. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right!. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here!."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death!.
The third man came to the front of the line, and St!. Peter asked for his story!.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator!.!.!."
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed!. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding!. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off!. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers!. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay!. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly!. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy!."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in!.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story!.
"It's been a very strange day!. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony!. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge!. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me!. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony!. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me!. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands!. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right!. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here!."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death!.
The third man came to the front of the line, and St!. Peter asked for his story!.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator!.!.!."
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
i rope walks into a bar and orders a drink!.!.!. the bartender says "i'm sorry, it's against our policy to serve alcohol to ropes" so the rope goes outside and ties himself into a knot, walks back in and orders a drink!.!.!.the bartender says "i'm sorry, but aren't you that rope that just came in here!?" and the rope says, "nope, i'm a frayed knot" (i'm afraid not) =)Www@Enter-QA@Com
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity!. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C!. The Russians used a pencil!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
LOL! thatwas sooooo funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
PRETTY GOODWww@Enter-QA@Com
good luck everyone else!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
good one!
ps: You like George Bush Jr!? What's wrong with you!?!?!? :DWww@Enter-QA@Com
ps: You like George Bush Jr!? What's wrong with you!?!?!? :DWww@Enter-QA@Com
lol never lie to your kids!.!.!. ;)Www@Enter-QA@Com
a little boy was riding his bike then stopped near a cop on his horse[sumthing like that] then the cop asked "nice bike u got there!.!.did santa bring it to u!?" "yes!" the boy replied!.!.the cop gave the little boy a ticket and said,"next time tell santa to include a license plate" the little boy then asked "so is your horse from santa!?" the cop nodded then the boy said"next time tell santa to put the d!ck on the bottom of the horse instead of on top"
;pWww@Enter-QA@Com
;pWww@Enter-QA@Com
there were Jesus with the saints in Heaven!.
And one day, Jesus came up with the idea to make the world better!.
So he told everybody to do something about the illegal drugs in the world!.
hearing this, everybody spread!.
Next thing, there is a "knock,knock" on the Heaven's door!.
Jesus asks: "who's there!?"
"it's St!.Peter, i brought all the cocaine from South America"
"well done Peter", says Jesus
again, "knock,knock"!. "who's there!?", asks Jesus!.
"it's St!. Andrew, i brought all the marijuana from Middle East"
"well done, Andrew", says Jesus
again, "knock,knock"!. "who's there!?", asks Jesus!.
"it's St!.Nicholas, i brought all the heroin from Thailand, Columbia and Afghanistan"
"well done, Nicholas", says Jesus
again, "knock,knock"!. "who's there!?", asks Jesus!.
"FBI Mother****ers, hands up, you're all under arrest!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
And one day, Jesus came up with the idea to make the world better!.
So he told everybody to do something about the illegal drugs in the world!.
hearing this, everybody spread!.
Next thing, there is a "knock,knock" on the Heaven's door!.
Jesus asks: "who's there!?"
"it's St!.Peter, i brought all the cocaine from South America"
"well done Peter", says Jesus
again, "knock,knock"!. "who's there!?", asks Jesus!.
"it's St!. Andrew, i brought all the marijuana from Middle East"
"well done, Andrew", says Jesus
again, "knock,knock"!. "who's there!?", asks Jesus!.
"it's St!.Nicholas, i brought all the heroin from Thailand, Columbia and Afghanistan"
"well done, Nicholas", says Jesus
again, "knock,knock"!. "who's there!?", asks Jesus!.
"FBI Mother****ers, hands up, you're all under arrest!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
George W Bush is having a conversation on the phone with some former presidents!. president bush asks george washingthon how can i be a better president to make the country better!? george washinghton says dont lie george bush says its too late to do that!. then he calls thomas jefferson and asks how can i make the country better jefferson says learn to read or write president bush says its too late for that let me call abraham lincholn when president bush called abraham licholn he asked how can i make the countrey better Aberaham Lincholn says yea, go to a theatere!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. thanks for that joke it was hilarious i was on the floor cracking upWww@Enter-QA@Com
LOL! That was funny! Try This One:
APARTMENT ON RENT
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend
the night with her for $500!. They did their thing,
and, before he left, he told her that he did
not have any cash with him, but he would have his
secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling
the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT!."
>>
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had
done, realizing that the whole event had not been
worth the price!. So he had his secretary send a cheque
for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
>>
"Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your
apartment!. I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented the place, I was under the
impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home!.
However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large!."
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately
returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
" Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely!.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you
know how to turn it on!.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of
regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture
to fill it, please do not blame the management!.
So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced
to contact your present landlady!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
APARTMENT ON RENT
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend
the night with her for $500!. They did their thing,
and, before he left, he told her that he did
not have any cash with him, but he would have his
secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling
the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT!."
>>
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had
done, realizing that the whole event had not been
worth the price!. So he had his secretary send a cheque
for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
>>
"Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your
apartment!. I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented the place, I was under the
impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home!.
However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large!."
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately
returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
" Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely!.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you
know how to turn it on!.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of
regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture
to fill it, please do not blame the management!.
So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced
to contact your present landlady!."Www@Enter-QA@Com