Anyone got some funny jokes?!
Question: Anyone got some funny jokes!?
im as bored as!?!?!?!?need funny jokes fun web sites etc!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly boobs
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.
learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?
1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.
There are two women!. And one other woman!. THey are sitting on a bench waiting for the 45 bus!.One of the women says, "Well, my husband's is LONG AND HARD!. and he sticks it right in as if it was a piece of cake!. NO TROUBLE AT ALL!"The other woman said, "well, my husband's is long as well and also hard!. but i have seen your husband's!. it's not as long and hard as MY husband's!. he just puts it in there easily like he's been doing it all day!. he's an expert!"Other woman says, "Hey, YOU DON'T talk about your sex lives in public!"one woman says, "look, we're just talking about our husbands' plumbing skills and toilet plunger!
a man goes it to the dentist and asks for his tooth to be removed!. the dentist says ok well I have to give you a shot!. No the man replies I hate needles your not giving me a shot!. well the dentist says wehave some gas to give you!. again the answer was no!. the dentist goes to his office and brings back some pills!. the man takes them and asks what they were!. the dentist replies viagra!. VIAGRA!!! the man shouts what for!. well it won’t do sh*t for the pain but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull this tooth!.
"Blonde caller:“Can you give me the telephone number for Jack!?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”
Blond Caller: “On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning!. Now, can you give me the number for Jack!?”
blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box
this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."
two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly boobs
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.
learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?
1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.
There are two women!. And one other woman!. THey are sitting on a bench waiting for the 45 bus!.One of the women says, "Well, my husband's is LONG AND HARD!. and he sticks it right in as if it was a piece of cake!. NO TROUBLE AT ALL!"The other woman said, "well, my husband's is long as well and also hard!. but i have seen your husband's!. it's not as long and hard as MY husband's!. he just puts it in there easily like he's been doing it all day!. he's an expert!"Other woman says, "Hey, YOU DON'T talk about your sex lives in public!"one woman says, "look, we're just talking about our husbands' plumbing skills and toilet plunger!
a man goes it to the dentist and asks for his tooth to be removed!. the dentist says ok well I have to give you a shot!. No the man replies I hate needles your not giving me a shot!. well the dentist says wehave some gas to give you!. again the answer was no!. the dentist goes to his office and brings back some pills!. the man takes them and asks what they were!. the dentist replies viagra!. VIAGRA!!! the man shouts what for!. well it won’t do sh*t for the pain but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull this tooth!.
"Blonde caller:“Can you give me the telephone number for Jack!?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”
Blond Caller: “On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning!. Now, can you give me the number for Jack!?”
blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box
this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."
two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three blonde men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across!.
The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across!.
The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across!.
Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and he walks across the bridgeWww@Enter-QA@Com
The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across!.
The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across!.
Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and he walks across the bridgeWww@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over!.
The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration!."
The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together!. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration!."
The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together!. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
?A blonde has just gotten a new sports car!. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff!. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does!. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it!. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats!. He turns around and sees she's smiling!. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car!. He looks back to see that she's laughing!. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires!. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down!. He demands, "What's so funny!?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
?
A guy burned both of his ears!.!.!. so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened!.
He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang!.!.!. So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear!.!.!.''
''But how the heck did you burn the other ear!?'' The doctor asked!.
''They called back!.''
?A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals!. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled!. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch!. He searches for someone who could give him the time!.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant!. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is!?"
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them!.
"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds!.
The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that!?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
?
A guy burned both of his ears!.!.!. so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened!.
He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang!.!.!. So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear!.!.!.''
''But how the heck did you burn the other ear!?'' The doctor asked!.
''They called back!.''
?A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals!. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled!. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch!. He searches for someone who could give him the time!.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant!. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is!?"
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them!.
"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds!.
The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that!?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
here goes!.!.!.!.2 pollocks were walking in the woods!. after a while the first says!.!.i have got to take a crap!.!.!.he kept walking!. the second one said!.!.well what are you waiting on!?!? the first says!.!.well i don 't have anything to wipe with!. the second one says!.!. well wipe on a dollar!. the first says, that's a good idea!. so he goes behind a big bush !.!.!.a few minutes later he comes out with crap all over him!.!.!.the second pollock says!.!.!.what happened!.!.!.he says well!.!.have you ever tried to wipe your @#$ on three quarters 2 dimes and a nickel!?!?!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok so there were these 3 fruits : bannnana , apple and orange
they were talking to each other and telling each other how each one is eaten by a human so the apple goes
they just cut me into peices and eat me
and then the orange goes same here
but then the bannana goes they make me go naked and then they eat me and then the bannana starts to cry lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
they were talking to each other and telling each other how each one is eaten by a human so the apple goes
they just cut me into peices and eat me
and then the orange goes same here
but then the bannana goes they make me go naked and then they eat me and then the bannana starts to cry lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
Have you heard the one about the Russian, the American, and the blonde!? The Russian said, "we were the first people in space!." The American said, "we were the first people on the moon"!. The blonde said, "that's nothing we are going to be the first people on the sun!." The Russian and the American said that's crazy it's too hot you will burn up!. The blonde said , "We're not that stupid we will go at nighttime!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Its bit of a bad joke but i hope u will enjoy!.
A boy was sleeping with his father!. he asked his father about his penis!. He said that his penis is sparrow and testicles are its eggs!.
In the morning his father died!. His mother asked him what happened to his father!. He replied that at night i was playing with the sparrow (penis) of my father and i breaked his eggs!. Meaning testicles!.
hahahahah
3 scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and a Pakistani!. They boast their country's science achievements!. The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in space, the American says, we were the 1st to go to moon, The Pakistani thinks hard and says: we will be 1st ones on the sun! Both the American and Russian start laughing, and say to the Pakistani, you stupid the sun is too hot, your spaceship will burn b4 it reaches the sun!. The Pakistan scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are stupid!. We will go there at night!!!
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called!?
Student: I don't know!.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called!?
Student: They r called Germs!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A boy was sleeping with his father!. he asked his father about his penis!. He said that his penis is sparrow and testicles are its eggs!.
In the morning his father died!. His mother asked him what happened to his father!. He replied that at night i was playing with the sparrow (penis) of my father and i breaked his eggs!. Meaning testicles!.
hahahahah
3 scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and a Pakistani!. They boast their country's science achievements!. The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in space, the American says, we were the 1st to go to moon, The Pakistani thinks hard and says: we will be 1st ones on the sun! Both the American and Russian start laughing, and say to the Pakistani, you stupid the sun is too hot, your spaceship will burn b4 it reaches the sun!. The Pakistan scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are stupid!. We will go there at night!!!
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called!?
Student: I don't know!.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called!?
Student: They r called Germs!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A woman asked her two friends where she could find windows!. The first one who seemed to be upsest with building, said, " The hardware store" and the second one said, " What are you talking about, you find windows at the software store!"
LOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
LOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
what does the pink panther say when he steps on an ant!?
dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant!. deeaaaad deaaddd annnnt!!!
hah!.
but say with the pink panther theme song!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant!. deeaaaad deaaddd annnnt!!!
hah!.
but say with the pink panther theme song!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Have you heard the one about the blonde that went to "Jokes & Riddles" & asked for jokes & riddles, instead of reading the jokes & riddles!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
My friend said,"I was in the pool and I did a whirlwind, have you seen one!?" and I said,"yeah, have you seen a kenmore!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds!?
A baby with a punctured lung!.
How many babies does it take to paint a house!?
Depends how hard you throw them!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A baby with a punctured lung!.
How many babies does it take to paint a house!?
Depends how hard you throw them!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok
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a blonde goes up to you and asks!.!.!."wat does IDK mean"
you say"I dont know"
she says "omg nobody does"
sorry if u are a blonde!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
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a blonde goes up to you and asks!.!.!."wat does IDK mean"
you say"I dont know"
she says "omg nobody does"
sorry if u are a blonde!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why is poop tapered!?
So your assh^le wont slam shut (ouch!)!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
So your assh^le wont slam shut (ouch!)!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
This is a Star Trek joke!.
What did Spock find in the bathroom!?
The Captions Log!. (his poop)Www@Enter-QA@Com
What did Spock find in the bathroom!?
The Captions Log!. (his poop)Www@Enter-QA@Com
why'd the pig go into the kitchen!?
because it felt like bakin'(bacon)!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
because it felt like bakin'(bacon)!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Have you ever eaten etheopian food!?
(no)
Neither have they!
haha!.!.!.!.i'm a dorkWww@Enter-QA@Com
(no)
Neither have they!
haha!.!.!.!.i'm a dorkWww@Enter-QA@Com
hmmmmmm a funny joke!?!?!? your face!! jkWww@Enter-QA@Com
Why did 6 hate 7!? Because 7, 8, 9!. Ha! Ha!
You get 7 ate 9!. I know corny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
You get 7 ate 9!. I know corny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Whats brown and sticky!?
A STICK
ahHAHAHA
LOL
LOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
A STICK
ahHAHAHA
LOL
LOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
Each person's view of the WORLD contains their version of the truth!.
The 1st Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary!. One day they went to her place and made love all after noon!.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM!. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt!. He put on his shoes and drove home!.
‘Where have you been!? ‘His wife demanded!. 'I can't lie to you, ' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary!. We had sex all after noon!.
She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!
The 2nd Affair
A middle- aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son!. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted!. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy!.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son!. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen!. He told his wife: ' There's no way I can be the father of this baby!.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back!? ‘
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'Not this time! ‘
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night !. He examined the body of Mr!. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling disco very!. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr!. Schwartz, ' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part!. It must be saved for posterity!.
' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his brief case, and took it home
'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his brief case!.
My God! ‘The wife exclaimed, ' Schwartz is dead!
The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door!. ‘Hurry,' she said, ' stand in the corner!.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, and then dusted him with talcum powder!. ‘Don’t move until I tell you, ' she said, ' pretend you're a statue!.
'
' What's this!? ‘The husband inquired as he entered the room!.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied, 'the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too!. ‘No more was said, not even when they went to bed!.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer!. ‘Here, ' he said to the statue, have this!. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing!.
The 5th Affair
A man walked into a café, went to the bar, and ordered a beer!.
‘Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent!.
’One Cent!? ‘The man exclaimed!.
He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine!? '
'A nickel,' the barman replied!.
'A nickel!?' exclaimed the man!.
‘Where’s the guy who owns this place!?'
The bartender replied: ' Upstairs, with my wife!.
The man asked: ' What's he doing upstairs with your wife!?
The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here!.
The 6th Affair
Jake was dying !. His wife sat at the bed side!. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess!.
' There's no need to, 'his wife replied!.
‘No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace!.
I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know, ' she replied, 'now just rest and let the poison work!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The 1st Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary!. One day they went to her place and made love all after noon!.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM!. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt!. He put on his shoes and drove home!.
‘Where have you been!? ‘His wife demanded!. 'I can't lie to you, ' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary!. We had sex all after noon!.
She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!
The 2nd Affair
A middle- aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son!. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted!. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy!.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son!. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen!. He told his wife: ' There's no way I can be the father of this baby!.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back!? ‘
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'Not this time! ‘
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night !. He examined the body of Mr!. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling disco very!. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr!. Schwartz, ' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part!. It must be saved for posterity!.
' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his brief case, and took it home
'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his brief case!.
My God! ‘The wife exclaimed, ' Schwartz is dead!
The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door!. ‘Hurry,' she said, ' stand in the corner!.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, and then dusted him with talcum powder!. ‘Don’t move until I tell you, ' she said, ' pretend you're a statue!.
'
' What's this!? ‘The husband inquired as he entered the room!.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied, 'the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too!. ‘No more was said, not even when they went to bed!.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer!. ‘Here, ' he said to the statue, have this!. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing!.
The 5th Affair
A man walked into a café, went to the bar, and ordered a beer!.
‘Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent!.
’One Cent!? ‘The man exclaimed!.
He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine!? '
'A nickel,' the barman replied!.
'A nickel!?' exclaimed the man!.
‘Where’s the guy who owns this place!?'
The bartender replied: ' Upstairs, with my wife!.
The man asked: ' What's he doing upstairs with your wife!?
The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here!.
The 6th Affair
Jake was dying !. His wife sat at the bed side!. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess!.
' There's no need to, 'his wife replied!.
‘No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace!.
I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know, ' she replied, 'now just rest and let the poison work!.Www@Enter-QA@Com