What is the funniest joke in the World...?!
Question: What is the funniest joke in the World!.!.!.!?
!.!.!.and please keep it clean!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
In the film Zulu, what was the name of the first Zulu killed!.
Will, because they said fire at will!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Will, because they said fire at will!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant!.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table!.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish!.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband!.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands!.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again!. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger then me!.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish!.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!!.!.!.the husband became 92 years old!.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table!.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish!.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband!.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands!.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again!. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger then me!.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish!.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!!.!.!.the husband became 92 years old!.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Joke #1~~~ There are two beavers in a bar!. The first beaver turns to the second beaver and says, "I did your mom!." The Bar goes quiet and the second beaver doesn't reply!. The first beaver says it again, "I did your mom!." The the second beaver turns to the first and says, "Go Home dad!."
Joke #2~~~ Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses!. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed!. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services!.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do!?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help!. First, let's make sure he's dead!." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard!. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what!?"
Joke #3~~~ How does Hitler tie his shoes!? In little Nazis!.
Joke #4~~~ Eminem went to 50 cents house for his Birth day!. Eminem gave 50 cent a present!. When 50 cent opened he found a sweater!. 50 cent looks at Eminem and says, "G-U-NIT!?"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
If you were looking for a joke to make fun of someone else you could try!.
You say-- "There are 100 ***** on a table how many did you choke on!?"
The other person should say-- "None!."
You say-- "Wow, Your good!"
Hope you thought they were funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Joke #2~~~ Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses!. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed!. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services!.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do!?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help!. First, let's make sure he's dead!." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard!. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what!?"
Joke #3~~~ How does Hitler tie his shoes!? In little Nazis!.
Joke #4~~~ Eminem went to 50 cents house for his Birth day!. Eminem gave 50 cent a present!. When 50 cent opened he found a sweater!. 50 cent looks at Eminem and says, "G-U-NIT!?"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
If you were looking for a joke to make fun of someone else you could try!.
You say-- "There are 100 ***** on a table how many did you choke on!?"
The other person should say-- "None!."
You say-- "Wow, Your good!"
Hope you thought they were funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years!.
Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance!.
"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained!.
After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's ****!.
While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream!.
Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs!.
"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance!.
"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained!.
After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's ****!.
While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream!.
Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs!.
"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
a peice of concrete walks into a bar and says can i have your strongest beer
the bartender says whay makes you strong enough to have this
the concrete says i am part of a dual carrage way and i have cars going over me at 70mph
anouther peice walks in and says yeh but im from a motorway and i have lorries going over me at 100mph
a tiny little peice of concrete walks in and the other two move to the other end of the bar the tender say why are you sitting over here
they reply with hes part of the cyclepath(psychopath)
ha ha ha lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
the bartender says whay makes you strong enough to have this
the concrete says i am part of a dual carrage way and i have cars going over me at 70mph
anouther peice walks in and says yeh but im from a motorway and i have lorries going over me at 100mph
a tiny little peice of concrete walks in and the other two move to the other end of the bar the tender say why are you sitting over here
they reply with hes part of the cyclepath(psychopath)
ha ha ha lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him!. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name!?"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey!. What's yours!?"
"I'm Jim!."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight!? I mean, right now!?!?"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room!. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk!. "Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says!.
"Yes!? And what about it!?" asks Stacey!.
"Is it your brother!?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles!. Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband!.
When he finally asks, "Is it your husband!?"
Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" Jim was relieved!.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear!. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it!?" Jim asks!.
Stacey replies, "That's me BEFORE my operation!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey!. What's yours!?"
"I'm Jim!."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight!? I mean, right now!?!?"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room!. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk!. "Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says!.
"Yes!? And what about it!?" asks Stacey!.
"Is it your brother!?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles!. Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband!.
When he finally asks, "Is it your husband!?"
Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" Jim was relieved!.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear!. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it!?" Jim asks!.
Stacey replies, "That's me BEFORE my operation!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old farmer went to town to see a movie!.
The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder!?"
The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes!."
"I'm sorry sir!.", said the ticket agent, "We don't allow animals in the theater!."
The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants!. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater!.
He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge!.
The movie started and the rooster began to squirm!. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie!.
"Marge", whispered Mildred!.
"What", said Marge!.
"I think this guy next to me is a pervert!.", said Mildred!.
"What makes you think that", asked Marge!.
"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out", whispered Mildred!.
"Well, don't worry about it", said Marge, "At our age we've seen them all!."
"I thought so", said Mildred, "But this one is eating my popcorn!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder!?"
The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes!."
"I'm sorry sir!.", said the ticket agent, "We don't allow animals in the theater!."
The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants!. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater!.
He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge!.
The movie started and the rooster began to squirm!. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie!.
"Marge", whispered Mildred!.
"What", said Marge!.
"I think this guy next to me is a pervert!.", said Mildred!.
"What makes you think that", asked Marge!.
"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out", whispered Mildred!.
"Well, don't worry about it", said Marge, "At our age we've seen them all!."
"I thought so", said Mildred, "But this one is eating my popcorn!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Let's see if this one rings a bell: A man said to his wife one day,"I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time!." The wife responded,"Allow me to explain!. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
2 peanuts were walking down the street and one of them was assaulted!.
or
"My dog's got no nose"
"How does it smell!?"
"Awful"Www@Enter-QA@Com
or
"My dog's got no nose"
"How does it smell!?"
"Awful"Www@Enter-QA@Com
a lame duck in a white house with a picture of an eagle!.
When you roost with the ducks, You can't "soar" with eagles!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
When you roost with the ducks, You can't "soar" with eagles!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I saw this commercial on tv!.!.!.
it was Jesus on the cross!.!.!.and then it said "Not going anywhere for a while!? Have a snickers"Www@Enter-QA@Com
it was Jesus on the cross!.!.!.and then it said "Not going anywhere for a while!? Have a snickers"Www@Enter-QA@Com
why did the chicken cross the rode!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. to get to the other side ;)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris does'nt get cancer!.Cancer gets Chuck Norris!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Just look in the big chair behind the desk in the Oval Office!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back!?!?
a stick
I love that one even if I'm the only oneWww@Enter-QA@Com
a stick
I love that one even if I'm the only oneWww@Enter-QA@Com
Is your refrigerator running!? better go catch it then!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
why is 6 afraid of 7!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? because, 7- 8 [ate] -9
hahahahahahahahWww@Enter-QA@Com
hahahahahahahahWww@Enter-QA@Com
why don't seagulls fly over the bay!?
then they would be called bagels!.!.
hahaaaa:]Www@Enter-QA@Com
then they would be called bagels!.!.
hahaaaa:]Www@Enter-QA@Com
what time is when you run out of ice cream!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.time to get more ice creamWww@Enter-QA@Com
its the one I havnt heard yet!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why did the chicken cross the road!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Death!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
youWww@Enter-QA@Com
george bush
=]Www@Enter-QA@Com
=]Www@Enter-QA@Com
youWww@Enter-QA@Com
your mumWww@Enter-QA@Com
Bob barker is so old that in a past life!.!.!. he was bob barker!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Your mom!.!.!. it always works!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
What goes Ha Ha Ha!.!.!.Bonk!!?
A bloke laughing his head off!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A bloke laughing his head off!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Blonde caller:“Can you give me the telephone number for Jack!?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”
Blond Caller: “On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning!. Now, can you give me the number for Jack!?”
blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box
this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."
two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.
learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?
1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”
Blond Caller: “On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning!. Now, can you give me the number for Jack!?”
blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box
this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."
two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.
learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?
1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.Www@Enter-QA@Com