Who has the best jokes to tell?!


Question: Who has the best jokes to tell!?
Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."



An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."


a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.



A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."

"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "

"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."



so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.



learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah



There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?



1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

There was a woman who won a million dollars, but she didn't want to tell her husband because he had just had a heart attack!. She was afraid it might happen again and he could die if she startled him by telling him the news!. She went to her priest and asked him to do the deed for her!. The next chance the priest gets he goes up to the man and says, "What would you do if you had one million dollars!?" The man replies, "That's an easy one!. I would donate it all to the church!" Just then the priest had a heart attack and died!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Me! This one is my favourite joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr!. Watson went on a camping trip!.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep!.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend!. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see!."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars!."
"What does that tell you!?"
Watson pondered for a minute!. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo!. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three!. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant!. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!. Why, what does it tell YOU!?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke!. "Watson, you idiot!. Some jerk has stolen our tent!."

I hope you'll enjoy it!Www@Enter-QA@Com

FBI Job Try Out
The FBI had an opening for an assassin!. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman!.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun!.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances!. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair !. !. !.Kill her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious!. I could never shoot my wife!." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job!. Take your wife and go home!."

The second man was given the same instructions!. He took the gun and went into the room!. All was quiet for about 5 minutes!. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife!."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes!. Take your wife home!."

Finally, it was the woman's turn!. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband!. She took the gun and went into the room!. Shots were heard, one after another!. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls!. After a few minutes, all was quiet!. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow!. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said!. "I had to beat him to death with the chair!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

OMG this joke is really funny!. Ok, so supposedly this is a conversation held between a U!.S!. admiral and canadian navymen!.

Americans: this is the commander of U!.S!.S!. Abraham Lincoln!. We have you on radar and suggest that your change the direction of your vessel 15 degrees north to avoid a collision!.

Canadians: No, we suggest that YOU move 15 degrees south to avoid a collision!.

Americans: This is an admiral of the U!.S!.S!. ABRAHAM LINCOLN! WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY 3 DESTROYERS, THREE SUBMARINES, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS!. IF YOU DO NOT CHANGE YOUR VESSEL'S TRAJECTORY WE WILL BE FORCED TO USE COUNTER ACTIONS TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP!.

Canadians: well, we're a light house!. your call!.


Well obviously the american navy disclaimed this conversation and claimed it a fallacy!. but they would say that, wouldn't they!? lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

YOU: hey, u know why i think i broke my butt!?

PERSON: why!?

YOU: cus it has a big crack in it!

BOTH: hahahahahahaha =]


i kno, its not very funny, but its a joke that i thought of :)Www@Enter-QA@Com

me!!!!!

knock knock
whos there!?
banana
banana who!?
banana riding an elephant!!!!!!!!!!

LOLWww@Enter-QA@Com

calros menciaWww@Enter-QA@Com

meWww@Enter-QA@Com



The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 enter-qa.com -   Contact us

Entertainment Categories