Tell a good blonde joke :]?!


Question: Tell a good blonde joke :]!?
Answers:
heres my two favrote ones;

One day a blonde decided to go horse back riding!.

After a very long search, she finally found a horse she thought she could ride!. Things started off well enough, slowly trotting along, but soon the undulations started going faster and faster!.

Being unexperienced at horseback riding the blonde started to fall off!. She tried everything, grabbing the mane, then she tried to grab the saddle, but could not hold on!.

Seconds before falling off, the horse finally stopped, allowing her to get off, and gratefully thank the shopper for unplugging the mechanical horse as they were about to enter the department store!.








Ok, there is a blonde, a brenett, and a red hed!. They all just died and went to heaven!. Then they ran into God, He said "you can go to heaven if you can make it up these 100 steps while I tell you three jokes"!. So the brenett goes first she gets to the 30th step then laughs!. Then the red hed goes and she gets to the 50th step then she laughs!. Then the blonde goes and gets to the 99th step then laughs!. Then God says "Why did you laugh" the blonde says "I just got the first joke"



oooh and one more lol

a blonde went to get her hair done but she had earfones on

the hairdresser was like ma'm you have to take those off in order for me to cut your hair !

the blonde was like no i need thoughs ! if i take them off ill die!

well after an hour of arguing the hairdresser finnaly yanked the earfones off

within minutes the blonde was dead!.

the hairdresser was omg she did need thoughs ! i wonder hwy, so she put on the earfones and their was a tape repeating " breathe in !. !. !. !. breathe out !. !. !. " lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

a blonde wanted to make money so she went up to a rich guy's house and said "hey i wanna make a quick buck, do you have anything that i could do!?" the rich guy said "sure, just paint my porch yellow!." the guy told her the paint and brushes were in the garage!. one hour later, the blonde knocks on his front door and said "ok im done, you can pay me now!." the guy pays her and when she's about to leave she tells him "by the way, its not a porsche, its a mercedes!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

three girls escape from prison, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead!. They run away and hide on a farm, the blonde in a potato sack, the brunette in a chicken coop, and the redhead in the barn with the cows!. When the police track them to the farm, they enter the barn and scream "If anyone's in here, come out with your hands up!" The redhead, being clever shouts, "Moo!" The police figure there are only cows in the barn, so they move on to the chicken coop and say, "If anyone's in here, come out with your hands up!" The brunette, being clever shouts, "Cluck, cluck cluck!" So the police figure there are only chickens in the coop!. Finally, they come to the food silo and say "If anyone's in here, come out with your hands up!" The blonde, thinking she is clever shouts, "Potato! Potato!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

A Blonde,a Brunette, and a Red Head, are about to be executed by a firing squad!. The Commander of the firing squad raises his hand in the air and says," Alright men, READY!!.!.!. AIM!!.!.!.

Just then the Brunette yells,"HURRICANE!" everyone stops and looks up and around, and she gets away!.

The Commander says," Ah forget that girl, lets proceed, READY!!.!.!. AIM!!.!.!.

Then the Red Head yells out,"TORNADO!" everyone looks around all confused, and she gets away!.

The Commander says," Ah forget that one, lets proceed, READY!!.!.!. AIM!!.!.!.




Then the Blonde yells,"FIRE!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

A blonde went to go check her mailbox!. She opened it and there was nothing there, so she went back to her house!. A minute later, she goes back out and checks her mailbox!. There was nothing there, so she went back to her house!. A minute later, she goes back out and checks her mailbox!. There was nothing there!. Her neighbor was watching her do this!. So the neighbor finally asked her, "Hey, why do you keep checking your mailbox every minute!?" The blonde replies,"Because my computer keeps saying that I have mail!."

What does the tooth fairy, a leprechaun, and a smart blonde have in common!?
They don't exist!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

A cop was sitting on the side of the road when suddenly,!. he saw a blonde swerving all over the road!. He pulled out and went after her when he saw that she was knitting while driving!.
After turning on his lights, she did not acknowledge he was behind her!. He pulled out his bullhorn and shouted into it, "Pull over!''!.
She still didn't do anything!.
He kept shouting into the bullhorn!.
"Pull over!"
After awhile of doing this, she yelled out the window, "No! It's a sweater!''!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

A smart blonde and a brunettte were riding in a boat down the river beside a corn field!. Then they noticed a blonde in the cornfield screaming "Help I'm drowing, help me please!" then the brunette said "Don't dumb blondes like that make you smart blondes mad!?" She answered, "Yeah, but if I had a lifeboat I would go save her"Www@Enter-QA@Com

i thought the person above was you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!

edit- here is a good one

a blonde called you to get your phone number
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat!.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

a ventriloquist wuz doing his act!. u know, he wuz making the little dummy person talk on his lap!. then this blonde stands up and yells, "U STINK! UR NOT FUNNY AT ALL! AND U HAVE NO TALENT WHATSOEVER!"
so the ventriloquist is like really, really, kinda freaked out by this lady and sez, "sorry!.!.!. sorry!.!.!."
but the blonde yells at him, "I WUZNT TALKING 2 U I WUZ TALKING TO THE DUDE ON UR LAP!"

i always thought that 1 wuz funny!. but i have a friend whos blonde so just cuz i told this joke doesnt mean that i hate blondes or whatever!. i have nothing against blondes!. really!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Once A Blond Went to Wal-Mart And Saw A Man selling a TV And Said "May I Buy Your TV You Have For Sale!?" And He Said " I don't Sale to Blonds" So The Blondie Went To A Hair Salon And Dyed Her Hair Pink And She Came Back And Asked "My I Buy Your TV Please!?" And He Said "No" So Kept On Changing Her Hair Colour And Going Back To Wal-mart again and again Until The 9th Time She Asked "May I Buy your TV again PLEASE!" And He Said "Don't Sale to Blonds" And She Said "how Did You Know I Was Really A Blond!?" And He Said "Because That's Not A TV Its A Micro Wave"Www@Enter-QA@Com

if You want a blond laughing on Monday morning!.!.!.
tell her a joke on Friday eve


I gonna sleep in the couch!.!.!.!.

the true life joke!.!.!.!.
this blond rich girl didn't know she was rich!.
and she was looking for a job!.finally she got hire as porno movie star!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

A blonde was cooking and accidentally started a fire in her house!. her friend was with her and said "hurry we gotta call 911!" the blonde replied " i can't there's no '11' on the phone!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

How do you drown a blonde!?

Glue a mirror to the bottom of the pool!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

this blonde txtd me nd said do u no wat idk means so i said i dnt know so she said omg! no one knows wat it means!.!.!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

Q: How do blonde braincells die!?
A: Alone!.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette!?
A: Artificial intelligence!.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink!?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane!?
A: She'd just dyed her hair!.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane!?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much!.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up!?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads!.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger!?
A: You can park in the handicap zone!.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up!?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear!.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks!?
A: It takes too long to retrain them!.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer!?
A: There's white-out on the screen!.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer!?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once!.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer!?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9!.!.!.!.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads!?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde!?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads!.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears!?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads!.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello!?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages!.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head!?
A: All you can eat, under a buck!.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles!?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar!.

Q: Why do Blondes like the GST!? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax)
A: Because they can spell it!.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes!?
A: Toes go in first!.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning!?
A1: Introduces themself!.
A2: Walks home!.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear!?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear!?
A: Data transfer!.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun!?
A: Because they don't know any better!.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb!?
A1: "What's a lightbulb!?"
A2: One!. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her!.
A3: Two!. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine!?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth!?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine!?

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant!?
A: "Are you sure it's mine!?"

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you!?
A: Tell her she's pregnant!.

Q: What will she ask you!?
A: "Is it mine!?"

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill!. Who picks it up!?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde!.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall!?
A: To see what was on the other side



Blonde Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack!?”

Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”!.

Blond Caller: “On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning!. Now, can you give me the number for Jack!?”








blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4





These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.



They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.

why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet




Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet


how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box



this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."



two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

here are a couple!.!.!.





Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck!. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St!. Peter!. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about!.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey!."

"Nooooo," said St!. Peter!. "You don't get in!."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other!."

"Nooooo," said St!. Peter!. "You don't get in, either!."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about!. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover!. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans!. They crucified Him on a cross!. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it!."

"Very good!" said St!. Peter!.

The blonde continued!. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out!. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball!."

St!. Peter fainted!


--------------------------------------!.!.!.

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor!. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet!.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet!?"

"That's a good question!. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground!."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know!?"


--------------------------------------!.!.!.

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news!. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge!. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned!. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend!." The blonde said, "No!. A bet's a bet!."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money!."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"



Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy!. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart!?"
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea!. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours!."
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose!.!.!. they've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing!."
"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde!. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars!.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose!.!.!. they've pulled their collars off while they were playing!."
"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde!.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"



This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart!.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house!.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand!.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint!. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat!.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time!. He goes over and asks her if she is OK!.
She replies, "Yes!."
He asks what she is doing!.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house!.
He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat!.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats!."

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks!.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks!."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks!."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks!."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them!.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger!. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't!. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down!."

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours!?
Scroll Down!. --->















<----- Scroll Up!.
A blonde decided to quit her job and become a "handyman"!. She printed flyers and began going door to door with them!. Finally a guy told her he needed his porch painted and asked how much she would charge!. "$50", she said, "If you buy the paint and supplies!." He agreed and brought the supplies to her, telling her to let him know when she was done!. He was laughing when he went into the house!. His wife asked him why, and he told her about the dumb lady who charged just $50 to paint the porch!. "Did you tell her the porch goes all the way around the house and it's really big in the back!?" his wife asked!. "No, she didn't ask!." he replied!. "Bad karma" his wife said, but he just laughed!. 45 minutes later there came a knock on the door, and the blonde lady told him she was finished with the porch!. "There is no way you could have completed that porch in such a short time", he said!. "I did, though", she answered, "I even had time for two coats!. Not to embarass you, sir, but that's not a porch - that's a Lexus!"

A smart blonde and a brunettte were riding in a boat down the river beside a corn field!. Then they noticed a blonde in the cornfield screaming "Help I'm drowing, help me please!" then the brunette said "Don't dumb blondes like that make you smart blondes mad!?" She answered, "Yeah, but if I had a lifeboat I would go save her"Www@Enter-QA@Com



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