What is the funniest (clean) joke you've heard?!
Question: What is the funniest (clean) joke you've heard!?
I really want to laugh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
"Hello, is this the FBI!?" "Yes, what do you want!?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood!." "Thank you very much for the call, sir!." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house!. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept!. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana!. They swore at Billy Bob and left!. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house!. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come!?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood!?" "Yep!." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Here are my 2 favorite clean jokes!.
Q-What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet!?
A-We're going to have a BB
So a chicken walks into Burger King and walks up to order!. The kid taking the order says "Hey chicken, we got a sandwich named after you" The chicken looks surprised and says "you got a sandwich named Steve!?"
Hope you enjoyed them :-)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q-What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet!?
A-We're going to have a BB
So a chicken walks into Burger King and walks up to order!. The kid taking the order says "Hey chicken, we got a sandwich named after you" The chicken looks surprised and says "you got a sandwich named Steve!?"
Hope you enjoyed them :-)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Yesterday, scientists have successfully proved that beer contains the female hormone estrogen!. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer each, and found that all the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, couldn't drive, became emotional and blamed others for all their problems!. No further testing is planned!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
(i dont remember it exactly but ill try)
once there were two muffins cooking in an oven
one muffin turns to the other and says "it hot in here"
then the other one say "OH CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
once there were two muffins cooking in an oven
one muffin turns to the other and says "it hot in here"
then the other one say "OH CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
I have two:
Once upon a time, a man asked his girlfriend to marry him!. She said "NO" and the man lived happily ever after !!
Two cannibals were sitting together sharing a clown for lunch!. All of a sudden, the one cannibal turned to the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Once upon a time, a man asked his girlfriend to marry him!. She said "NO" and the man lived happily ever after !!
Two cannibals were sitting together sharing a clown for lunch!. All of a sudden, the one cannibal turned to the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
want to hear a clean joke!? a pig took a bath with bubbles!.
want to hear a dirty joke!? bubbles is the next door neighbor!.
just a lil dirty!. when you said "clean" this one instantly came to mind!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
want to hear a dirty joke!? bubbles is the next door neighbor!.
just a lil dirty!. when you said "clean" this one instantly came to mind!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
what is green and has wheels!?
grass I lied about the wheels!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
grass I lied about the wheels!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Yo mama so ugly her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
why do seagulls fly over the sea!? if they flew over the bay they would be BAYGULLS!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you call a women with 2 black eyes!?
Nothing!.!.!. you already told her twice!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Nothing!.!.!. you already told her twice!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk!? it's all over town!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q!. why did the rooster cross the road !?
A!. cause the chicken was deadWww@Enter-QA@Com
A!. cause the chicken was deadWww@Enter-QA@Com
"you are a brilliant"!.!.!.!.!.!.i laughed a lotWww@Enter-QA@Com
What did the fat girl say to the other fat girl!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. who cares, they're fat!.Www@Enter-QA@Com