What is the stupidest joke that you've ever heard?!


Question: What is the stupidest joke that you've ever heard!?
Answers:
what does the pink panther say when he steps on a bug!?



dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt

[say with pink panther theme song]Www@Enter-QA@Com

The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand!. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat!. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles!. The wireless is the same, only without the cat!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

So there were two muffins!. They were put into an oven to be cooked!. It started heating up, so one muffin said to the other, "Fewf!.!.its getting hot in here!." and the other muffin said back
"hahah, a talking muffin!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Friend: I can make you say purple
Me: okay
Friend: say yellow
Me: i thought you said to say purple!?
Freind: see i told you i could make you say purple!Www@Enter-QA@Com

why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella!?


Fo drizzle!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com

Why did the chicken cross the road!?
To get to the other side!.

That's such a dumb "joke" !.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Any joke that my kids have to tell me like 20 times in a row and think I will laugh each time!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

a man walked into a bar and diedWww@Enter-QA@Com

Knock knock
Whos there!?
Interrupting worm
Interrupting worm who!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

knock knock>
who's there>
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend!?
he wiped his a$$Www@Enter-QA@Com

why did the chicken cross the road!?

to get to the other side!
=]


haha, a classicWww@Enter-QA@Com

why did the chicken cross the road
to get t
o the other side ugg so lame and soo oldWww@Enter-QA@Com

how many psychaitrists does it take to change a lite bulb!? just 1 but the bulb has to ''want to change''!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

What's the corniest movie ever!?
Corn with the wind!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Why are A's like flowers!?

Because B's come after themWww@Enter-QA@Com

what do you call a woman who hates paying her bills!.

BurnadetteWww@Enter-QA@Com

what do you call a man with a spade on his head

dougWww@Enter-QA@Com

yo granmama's a man!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

your mom!. lol thats like so second gradeWww@Enter-QA@Com

The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."



An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."


a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.



A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."

"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "

"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."



so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.



learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah



There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?



1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.




blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4





These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.



They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.

why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet




Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet


how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box



this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."



two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

All of these!.!.!.But some are funny!.!.!.!.

Worst pickup lines!.!.!.!.
1!. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter!.
2!. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good!.
3!. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money!?
4!. I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock!.
5!. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you!.
6!. My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going!.
7!. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away!.
8!. I'd like to screw yours brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it!.
9!. If your were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous!.
10!. Is that Windex!? Because I can see myself in your pants!.
11!. Wanna play house!? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long!.
12!. Guy: "Would you like to dance!?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely I wouldn't dance with you!."
Guy: " I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!."
13!. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine!.
14!. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house!?
15!. If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg was Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays!?
16!. I love every bone in your body -- especially mine!.
17!. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!.
18!. Hi, I'm a necrophilliac, how good are you at playing dead!?
19!. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him!? I think he went into this cheap motel room!.
20!. The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue!.
21!. Guy: "Haven't I seen you someplace before!?"
Girl: "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore!."




Things to do at a fast food drive thru!

1!. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside!.
2!. Drive through backwards!.
3!. Belch your order!.
4!. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape!. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume!.
5!. Barter!. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac!.
6!. Walk through!.
7!. Speak a foreign language (make one up if you have to)!. When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty understanding you!.
8!. Repeat everything the order-taker says!.
9!. Attempt to take the order-takers order ("Hi, may I take your order!?") before they get a chance to take yours!.
10!. Order confusing items, i!.e!., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please"!.
11!. In a crowded drive-thru line, place a HUGE order, then slip out of line and watch the fun as the person behind you is handed 40 bags of food!.
12!. When you arrive at the window to pick up your food, hand them several bags of garbage & ask if they'll dispose of it for you!. Make sure it smells!.
13!. Drive through with a carload of naked people!.
14!. Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window!. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion!.
15!. Drive through with someone on the hood to accept the food!.
16!. Bring along a Mr!. Microphone!. When the order-taker speaks, aim the mic at their speaker but do so while aiming the Mr!. Microphone speaker at the mic to produce excruciating feedback of their own voice!.
17!. One word: Flatulence!
18!. Have a friend hide in the trunk!. When you approach the window to pickup your order, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk!.
19!. If you are a male, have a female friend place the order by speaking VERY seductively and suggestively into the speaker!. When she finishes, have her hide and pull up to accept your order!. See how many of the order-takers fellow employees have been called over to the window to "check out the babe"!.
20!. Change a flat tire in the drive-thru lane!.Www@Enter-QA@Com



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