Tell me your best joke ever...x?!


Question: Tell me your best joke ever!.!.!.x!?
Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."



An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."


a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.



A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."

"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "

"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."



so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.



learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah



There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

This woman walks into the pet store and starts to look around!.
She comes across a beautiful parrot, in a cage with a price tag marked only 20$!.
Looking at the low price she thinks that it must be a mistake and goes to the clerk and asks him about it!.
The clerk tells her that this isnt a mistake and that the reason the bird is marked down so low, is because he has a tendency to say odd things!. "His previous owner used to live in a whore house" the man tells her!.
Puzzled, the woman thinks about it a bit, and decides that this is a deal that she just can't pass up, so she purchases the bird and takes him home!.

Setting him up a pretty little perch right next to the front door, she goes about her daily chores and house work!.
squawking at her the parrot said "NEW MADAM NEW MADAM"
She thought nothing of it and went about her day!.

Later that day, the womans two twin teenage daughters came home from school, and as they entered upon seeing the parrot the parrot yelped "New madam new girls! new madam new girls!!"
finding this amusing the girls gave the parrot a pet, and went on to their rooms to do homework before dinner!.

Later that night, just as the woman was putting dinner on the table and the girls were coming down to dinner, the woman's husband walked in from work!. Instantly the bird began flapping around and yelping and squawking loudly yelling "HI STEVE HI STEVE!!!!!!!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50!.00!."

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign
or go to jail!.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES!."

One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them!?!"

"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled !. "Their sign pertains to religion!.'

The following day the same police officer noticed the same two ho's driving around with a large sign on their car!.

He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:
"Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter -- $50!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

She Was So Blonde !. !. !. !. !.

* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"!.
* She got stabbed in a shoot-out!.
* She tried to drown a fish!.
* She tripped over a cordless phone!.
* She studied for a blood test !.!.!.and failed!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

umm!.!.!.probably not the best one!. but only one i can think of right now!.

There are 3 women who are training to become nuns!. they're being taught by a Priest!. The priest askes them to commit a sin and then drink some holy water, to be cleansed of their sins!. SO, the nuns go out and sin and come back!. The priest asks "Sister, what sin have you commited!?" to the first nun!.
The first nun replies "I stole candy from a baby!."
The priest says "Drink some holy water and you will be pure again!." The third nun giggles a bit!. He repeats the question to the second nun, trying to ignore the third nun!.
The second nun replies "I punched a man!." The priest says "Drink some holy water and you will be pure again," and so she does!. The third nun is now rolling on the floor, laughing her *** off!.
The priest angrily asks "Why are you laughing so much!? What sin did you commit sister!?"!.

The third nun says "I pissed into the holy water!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

a boy walks into a whore house carrying a dead frog and asks the lady at the counter for a whore with AIDS!.!. The lady tells him that she cant do that cause hes just a boy!. The boy pulls out his piggy bank and gives her 600 dollars and asks again!. The lady says ok and tells the boy to go to the fifth door on the right!. The bot is in there for about ten minutes and walks out smiling from ear to ear!. As he passes the front counter the lady cant help to ask why he wanted a whore with AIDS!. The boy puts his dead frog on the counter and says well when I get home the baby sitter will be there and she is gonna molest me and she will get the AIDS!. Then when my dad gets home he is gonna have sex with the baby sitter and he is gonna get the AIDS!. Then when my mom gets home my mom is gonna have sex with my dad and she will get the AIDS!. then in the morning when my dad leaves for work the milk man is gonna come over and have sex with my mom!. AND THATS THE SON OF A ***** WHO KILLED MY FROG!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off!.

"How did this happen!?" the emergency room doctor asked her!.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied!.

"What!?" sputtered the doctor!. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off!?"

"No silly!" the blonde said!. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000!.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest!."

"So then!?" asked the doctor!.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000!.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth!."

"So then!?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise!. So I put my finger in the other ear and pulled the trigger!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Little sally comes home from school one day and tells her mom that little johnny showed her his 'noodle'!. Mom was a bit shocked but didn't want it to show, so she carmly asks what sally thought of it!.
'it reminded me of a peanut' sally said
'Oh, is that cause it was so small' mom replied
'No, salty' explained sallyWww@Enter-QA@Com

What do you get a pedophile who has everything!?






A bigger parish!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

yo mama so fat
that when she jumps up
there's an eclipse!.

its not that funny but i made it up so!.!.!.!.!.:) @;- (smile & a roseWww@Enter-QA@Com

Search at google: Fumoffu and you'll laught like never before!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

when you looked in the mirror!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.jk your moms like sonic opened till midnight or laterWww@Enter-QA@Com

my ex husband telling his mother that he pays all the maintenance to my son, I have never received a penny off him in all 3 years, since I've been with CSAWww@Enter-QA@Com

my life!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

my life on yahoo answersWww@Enter-QA@Com

i let you know if i have one!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Why are black people afriad of chainsaws!?


"RUN NlGGER NlGGER NlGGER RUN!!!!!!!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com



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