This is not urgent, but can people please give me some jokes?!
Question: This is not urgent, but can people please give me some jokes!?
you can even cut and paste from other places if you want but i just want to hear some jokes that i can share with other peopleWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr!. Watson went on a camping trip!.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep!.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend!. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see!."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars!."
"What does that tell you!?"
Watson pondered for a minute!. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo!. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three!. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant!. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!. Why, what does it tell YOU!?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke!. "Watson, you idiot!. Some jerk has stolen our tent!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep!.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend!. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see!."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars!."
"What does that tell you!?"
Watson pondered for a minute!. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo!. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three!. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant!. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!. Why, what does it tell YOU!?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke!. "Watson, you idiot!. Some jerk has stolen our tent!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink!. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was!. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen!.
He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling!.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS!?" he yelled!.
No one answered!.
"Alright, i'm gonna have another beer, and if my hoss ain't back outside by the time i finish, I'm gonna do what i dun in Texas! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly!.
He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse is back! He saddles-up and starts to ride out of town!.
The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say partner, before you go!.!.!. what happened in Texas!?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling!.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS!?" he yelled!.
No one answered!.
"Alright, i'm gonna have another beer, and if my hoss ain't back outside by the time i finish, I'm gonna do what i dun in Texas! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly!.
He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse is back! He saddles-up and starts to ride out of town!.
The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say partner, before you go!.!.!. what happened in Texas!?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Jesus was looking for his!?
step father on earth, but did not find him!.
Finally he sat down in Rome at the Vatikan besides an old man!.
Old man "You look just like you have all the worlds troubles on you,
what's your problem!?"
Jesus"I am looking for my step father!?"
Old man "Funny I have been looking for my stepson!? What's the name
of your stepfather!." Jesus "Joseph"
Old man "But that's my name Guiseppe in italian!"
"How do you otherwise recognize your stepfather!?"
Jesus "My spepfather was a carpenter"
Old man "But I am a carpenter!. Any other ways to know your stepfather!?"
Jesus "When I was born it was a miracle and firther I have holes in my
hands and feet!"
Old man "But that sounds exactly as my stepson!.!"
Jesus embraces the old man and says "Father!"
Old man in tears "Pinoccio!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
step father on earth, but did not find him!.
Finally he sat down in Rome at the Vatikan besides an old man!.
Old man "You look just like you have all the worlds troubles on you,
what's your problem!?"
Jesus"I am looking for my step father!?"
Old man "Funny I have been looking for my stepson!? What's the name
of your stepfather!." Jesus "Joseph"
Old man "But that's my name Guiseppe in italian!"
"How do you otherwise recognize your stepfather!?"
Jesus "My spepfather was a carpenter"
Old man "But I am a carpenter!. Any other ways to know your stepfather!?"
Jesus "When I was born it was a miracle and firther I have holes in my
hands and feet!"
Old man "But that sounds exactly as my stepson!.!"
Jesus embraces the old man and says "Father!"
Old man in tears "Pinoccio!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
3 men were lost in a desert!.
After a while they came across a castle!. They walked inside and asked for some food and a drink!. The owner of the castle said sure, go to my greenhouse and pick 100 of your favourite fruit then bring them back here!.
they all rushed off and some time later the first man brought back 100 grapes!. the owner of the castle told him to shove them up his bum and he could have all the food he wanted!. The first man did so!.
In that time the second man came back with 100 apples!. the castle owner told him the same as he had said to the first man!. The second man got to 89 when he started laughing and they all fell out!. Why did u laugh!? now you must start over said the castle owner!. the second man answered, my mate over there is trying to shove up watermelons!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
After a while they came across a castle!. They walked inside and asked for some food and a drink!. The owner of the castle said sure, go to my greenhouse and pick 100 of your favourite fruit then bring them back here!.
they all rushed off and some time later the first man brought back 100 grapes!. the owner of the castle told him to shove them up his bum and he could have all the food he wanted!. The first man did so!.
In that time the second man came back with 100 apples!. the castle owner told him the same as he had said to the first man!. The second man got to 89 when he started laughing and they all fell out!. Why did u laugh!? now you must start over said the castle owner!. the second man answered, my mate over there is trying to shove up watermelons!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A King had to leave his Kingdom for some business!. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper!. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her vagina!.
The King left!. That night, three of the Guards did plan to **** the Princess!.
The First Guard went into her room!. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened!. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream!. He came out!. The other two Guards asked why he screamed!. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself!. This made the other two smile!.
The Second Guard went in!. After some time!? Ahhhhh!!! The Second Guard came out!. The Third Guard asked what happened!. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn't control himself!. The Third Guard smiled!.
The Third Guard went into the room!. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress!. Outside, the other two Guards listened!. Mmmmmhhhh!!?! The other two Guards took off! The next morning, the King came back!. He suspected that his Guards tried to **** his daughter!. He told them to drop their pants!. Each of them did!. Two of them had sliced *****, but the third one didn!?t!. Confused, the King asked why!. He stuck his tongue out and said, !?I neba pry *** ur dahta, I wet lik ur dahta!?!
:)Www@Enter-QA@Com
The King left!. That night, three of the Guards did plan to **** the Princess!.
The First Guard went into her room!. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened!. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream!. He came out!. The other two Guards asked why he screamed!. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself!. This made the other two smile!.
The Second Guard went in!. After some time!? Ahhhhh!!! The Second Guard came out!. The Third Guard asked what happened!. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn't control himself!. The Third Guard smiled!.
The Third Guard went into the room!. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress!. Outside, the other two Guards listened!. Mmmmmhhhh!!?! The other two Guards took off! The next morning, the King came back!. He suspected that his Guards tried to **** his daughter!. He told them to drop their pants!. Each of them did!. Two of them had sliced *****, but the third one didn!?t!. Confused, the King asked why!. He stuck his tongue out and said, !?I neba pry *** ur dahta, I wet lik ur dahta!?!
:)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Here are two!. A dog walks into a saloon and says to the bartender!. I am looking for the man that shot my paw!.
And joke number 2!.
A kid comes home from school!. He tells his mother about his day!. He says I got something to tell you!. What is it she says!? The teacher asked a question today and I was the only one that could answer it right!. Well what was it!? He said, she asked who left one!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
And joke number 2!.
A kid comes home from school!. He tells his mother about his day!. He says I got something to tell you!. What is it she says!? The teacher asked a question today and I was the only one that could answer it right!. Well what was it!? He said, she asked who left one!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
little miss muffett
sat on a tuffet
eatin' her curds and whey
along came a spidah
sat down beside-ah
and said "yo b---h, whats in the bowl!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
sat on a tuffet
eatin' her curds and whey
along came a spidah
sat down beside-ah
and said "yo b---h, whats in the bowl!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q: Why men "fart" louder than women!?
A: Because men's b@%%hole is next to a microphone!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A: Because men's b@%%hole is next to a microphone!Www@Enter-QA@Com