Any NON-dirty jokes?!
Question: Any NON-dirty jokes!?
you know, ones that don't have "references" or swearing in it!? I wanna laugh, not be disgusted!. I need lots of them!. Thanks!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up!.
MOM: "Wake up, son!. It's time to go to school!."
SON: "But why, Mama!? I don't want to go to school!."
MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school!."
SON: "One, all the children hate me!. Two, all the teachers hate me!."
MOM: "Oh! that's not a reason!. Come on, you have to go to school!."
SON: "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school!?"
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MOM: "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old!. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the schoolWww@Enter-QA@Com
MOM: "Wake up, son!. It's time to go to school!."
SON: "But why, Mama!? I don't want to go to school!."
MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school!."
SON: "One, all the children hate me!. Two, all the teachers hate me!."
MOM: "Oh! that's not a reason!. Come on, you have to go to school!."
SON: "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school!?"
;
;
;
;
;
;
MOM: "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old!. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the schoolWww@Enter-QA@Com
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong!.
"Ohhh, it's my girlfriend!."
"Oh yeah!? What's the problem!?"
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me," he said, "she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Ohhh, it's my girlfriend!."
"Oh yeah!? What's the problem!?"
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me," he said, "she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
There were these two gold fish in a tank and one turns to the other and asks, "Do you know how to drive this thing!?"
What does a fish say when he runs into a wall!?
"Dam!" (or maybe he says "Hoover"!.!.!.)Www@Enter-QA@Com
What does a fish say when he runs into a wall!?
"Dam!" (or maybe he says "Hoover"!.!.!.)Www@Enter-QA@Com
why did the banana went to the doctor!?
because he wasn't peeling well!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
because he wasn't peeling well!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Did you hear about the blonde that was fired at the M&M company!?
They caught her throwing away all the W'S!.
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box
this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."
two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Did you hear about the blonde that was fired at the M&M company!?
They caught her throwing away all the W'S!.
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box
this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."
two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com