Tell me joke. :]?!
Question: Tell me joke!. :]!?
Best joke gets ten points!.
Has to be a semi-clean joke!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Has to be a semi-clean joke!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree!. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground!. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground!.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts!. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate!.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts!. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate!.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
%100 clean ;)
Memory's Going
An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them!. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory!.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things!. The couple thanked the doctor and left!.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going!?"
He replied, "To the kitchen!."
She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream!?"
"Sure!."
Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it!?"
"No, I can remember that!."
"Well, I also would like some strawberries on top!. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said!.
"I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries!."
She replied, "Well, I also would like whipped cream on top!. I know you will forget that!. You had better write it down!."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that!." He went into the kitchen!.
After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs!.
She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Memory's Going
An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them!. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory!.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things!. The couple thanked the doctor and left!.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going!?"
He replied, "To the kitchen!."
She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream!?"
"Sure!."
Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it!?"
"No, I can remember that!."
"Well, I also would like some strawberries on top!. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said!.
"I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries!."
She replied, "Well, I also would like whipped cream on top!. I know you will forget that!. You had better write it down!."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that!." He went into the kitchen!.
After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs!.
She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend!. Ed and Ted slept in
one tent while the wives used the other!.
At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, "Wow,
unbelievable!"
Which woke Ed!.
"What's going on!?" said Ed!.
"I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife!." said Ted!.
"How come!?" said Ed!.
"To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my
life!" said Ted
After a pause, Ed said, "Do you want me to come with you!?"
"Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that!?" said Ted!.
"Because that's my dick you're holding," said Ed!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
one tent while the wives used the other!.
At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, "Wow,
unbelievable!"
Which woke Ed!.
"What's going on!?" said Ed!.
"I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife!." said Ted!.
"How come!?" said Ed!.
"To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my
life!" said Ted
After a pause, Ed said, "Do you want me to come with you!?"
"Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that!?" said Ted!.
"Because that's my dick you're holding," said Ed!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Boys and Girls
BOY : May I hold your hand!?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy!.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring!?!?
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number!?!?
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest!.
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever!.
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve!?!?
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon!?!?
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there!?!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
BOY : May I hold your hand!?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy!.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring!?!?
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number!?!?
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest!.
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever!.
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve!?!?
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon!?!?
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there!?!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
A woman when she thinks of sex she thinks about romantic things like her wedding night!. This then leads to her thinking about weddings in general and then upcoming weddings and the next person she knows is getting married!.
All her husband knows is he is in the middle of having sex with his wife when she says, "Isn't Clinton a great guy!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
All her husband knows is he is in the middle of having sex with his wife when she says, "Isn't Clinton a great guy!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
The Wedding Test
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married!. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me!. My girlfriend!? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me!. That one thing was her younger sister!.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses!. She would regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear!. It had to be deliberate!. She never did it when she was near anyone else!.
One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations!. She was alone when I arrived!.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome!. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister!.
I was in total shock and could not say a word!.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me!."
I was stunned!. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs!. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me!.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door!. I opened the door, stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car!.
My future father-in-law was standing outside!. With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy you have passed our little test!. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter!. Welcome to the family!"
The moral of this story is!.!.!.!.!.
"Always keep your condoms in your car!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married!. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me!. My girlfriend!? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me!. That one thing was her younger sister!.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses!. She would regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear!. It had to be deliberate!. She never did it when she was near anyone else!.
One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations!. She was alone when I arrived!.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome!. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister!.
I was in total shock and could not say a word!.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me!."
I was stunned!. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs!. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me!.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door!. I opened the door, stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car!.
My future father-in-law was standing outside!. With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy you have passed our little test!. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter!. Welcome to the family!"
The moral of this story is!.!.!.!.!.
"Always keep your condoms in your car!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://youtube!.com/watch!?v=gvj1QGqfQyg
here, enjoy!
hahahahaha!.!.!.
10 points for my effort!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
here, enjoy!
hahahahaha!.!.!.
10 points for my effort!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
if girls with big boobs work at hooters, where do girls with only one leg work!?
IHOP!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
IHOP!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
joke!. :]Www@Enter-QA@Com