Newsflash. Have you heard?!
Question: Newsflash!. Have you heard!?
A major earthquake measuring 5!.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Monday morning!.
Epicentre: Romford, Essex!.
Victims were seen wandering around aimless muttering "faaackin ell" !.!.
The earthquake decimated the area causing extreme damage!. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and
Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair!.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed!. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived!.
Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon!.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying!.
My youngest two Tyler-Morgan, and Megan-Storm slept through it all!. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning!."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal!. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals!.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland!.
HOW CAN YOU HELP!?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster!. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark!.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same!.
Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals Tins of baked beans, Icecream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew!.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms,
2 pounds buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9!.
5 pounds will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Epicentre: Romford, Essex!.
Victims were seen wandering around aimless muttering "faaackin ell" !.!.
The earthquake decimated the area causing extreme damage!. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and
Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair!.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed!. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived!.
Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon!.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying!.
My youngest two Tyler-Morgan, and Megan-Storm slept through it all!. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning!."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal!. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals!.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland!.
HOW CAN YOU HELP!?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster!. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark!.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same!.
Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals Tins of baked beans, Icecream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew!.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms,
2 pounds buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9!.
5 pounds will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
I this a joke or an earthquake relief campaign!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Typical of EssexWww@Enter-QA@Com
hilariousWww@Enter-QA@Com
‘Leave it already’!!! I am thinking of moving up a notch in life, am bout to move to EssexWww@Enter-QA@Com
There's bound to be an 'ism' here but who cares!. It's funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
Couldnt be ar**d to read all thisWww@Enter-QA@Com
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
lol i like that it was funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
very funny!.!.!.!.!.cute
excellent!.!.!.awesome!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.good job!.!.!.!.!.!.keep up the good jokes!.!.!.!.!.made me laugh!.!.!.lmaoWww@Enter-QA@Com
excellent!.!.!.awesome!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.good job!.!.!.!.!.!.keep up the good jokes!.!.!.!.!.made me laugh!.!.!.lmaoWww@Enter-QA@Com
yeh is it not ment 2 b the belfast 1
ripped off or watWww@Enter-QA@Com
ripped off or watWww@Enter-QA@Com
cor i fell asleepWww@Enter-QA@Com
Fuc!.ing A ! That's a great one, he he he :o)Www@Enter-QA@Com