Anygood little johnny jokes?!


Question: Anygood little johnny jokes!?
Answers:
A third grade teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in
a
sentence!.

Molly said!. "My family went to the New York City Zoo and we saw all the
animals!. It was fascinating!."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
"fascinate"!.

Sally raised her hand!. She said, "My family went to the Statue of
Liberty
and I was fascinated!."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good, Sally, but I want the word
’fascinate!.’"

Johnny raised his hand!. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted
for
his bad language!. She finally decided there was no way he could damage
the
word ’fascinate’, so she called on him!.

Johnny said, "My sister has a sweater with ten buttons, but her **** are
so
big, she can only fasten eight!."

The teacher fainted!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!!!


Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals!. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person!.

"Yes," said the policeman!. "The detectives want very badly to capture him!."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture!?"


The teacher told the class that today they’d be guessing objects from physical description!. She said, "I will hold an object under my desk and physically describe it to you, and then class, you have to tell me what you think it is I have under my desk!." First the teacher said, "I have something long and yellow, what is it!?" Sally raises her hand and the teacher calls on her, "What do you think it is Sally!?" "It’s a banana", replied Sally!. "No, it’s a pencil" said the teacher, "But I like the way you think!." Next the teacher said, "I’m holding something round and red, what is it!?" Billy raises his hand and the teacher calls on him, "What do you think it is Billy!?" "It’s a tomato" says Billy!. "No, it’s an apple" says the teacher, "but I like the way you think!." Little Johnny raises his hand so the teacher calls on him and says, "Yes Little Johnny!." "Well Ms!. Smith, I have one for you" says Little Johnny!. "Okay says the teacher!." "What’s round, hard, and has a head!?" replied Little Johnny!. "Oh no, Little Johnny that is not appropriate for school at all!." says the teacher!. "It’s a quarter" says Little Johnny, "but I like the way you think!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

*******Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class!. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word!?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word!?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate!.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful!.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl0wjob"!.



******One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants!.

The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing!?"

Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there!."

"Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the teacher!.

A little while later, Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down!.

Then the teacher came to the back of the room again, and he had his dick haging out of his pants!.

The teacher said, "Johnny, what's that doing hanging out of your pants!?!"

Then Johnny said, "My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon, she'll come and pick me up!."




*********One day in school, the teacher decides to play 20 questions!.

So the teacher says "OK kids, I am thinking of something round, and red"

Little Suzy pipes up "I know, it's a tomato"!.

"No but you're thinking, it's an apple" replies the teacher!.

So Little Johnny stands up, places his hand in his pocket and says "I am holding onto something that is round, hard, and has a head on it"

"Go to the principals office" says the teacher!.

"No but you're thinking", say Johnny, "It's a quarter"



Hahha, I hope you like these!Www@Enter-QA@Com

New Teacher: Good Morning children, I'm new to this school!. We'll need to get to know each other, so let's make a start by talking about we did over the weekend!.
*Girl puts her hand up*
New Teacher: Yes, dear!?
Girl: I went on a cho-cho train!.
New Teacher: No, I don't like children using baby talk in my class, you went on a TRAIN!.
*Boy puts his hand up*
New Teacher: Yes, dear!?
Boy: I went to vist my granddaddy!.
New Teacher: No, I don't like children using baby talk in my class, you went to vist your Grandfather!.
*Little Johnny puts his hand up*
New Teacher: Yes, dear!?
Little Johnny: I read a book!.
New Teacher: What was it!?
Little Johnny: Are you sure you don't want any baby talk!?
New Teacher: Absolutely!.
Little Johnny: Okay, it was 'Winnie the S***'!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

One day a teacher asked her class to each tell a story that had a moral to it!.

Little Susie was first "One day we were driving down the road with all the fresh eggs in baskets in the back of the truck!. We hit a bump and they all fell out and broke!. The moral of my story is 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' "!. The teacher told Susie she did a good job and called on Little Johnny to come up next

"Well!.!.!.My uncle Ted was in Vietnam!. One day he was jumping out of a plane and on the way to the ground he pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and started drinking it!. There were 150 Vietnamese soldiers waiting for him, when he hit the ground he killed 50 with his M16 before it ran out of ammo, 25 with his knife before the blade broke, and he killed the last 75 with his bare hands!."

The teacher stared at Johnny for a few minutes before asking "Johnny!.!.!.does your story have a moral to it!?"

"Oh yeah!.!.don't **** with uncle Ted when he is drunk!."


A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses!.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up!.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny!?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "sh*t" meant!.

Thinking fast she replied "food on the table"!.

Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a b*tch" mean!.

Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest"!.

Next day he comes home a asks what does f*ckin'" mean!. She says it means "getting dressed"!.

That same night a priest was coming over for dinner!. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring!.

He yells "got it"!. He opens the door and says "Hey son of a b*tch, sh*ts on the table and mom and dad are upstairs f*ckin'"!.



Little Johnny was going to his faters house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon!.

He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill!.

He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy"

A priest heard him and came out!. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest!. "God hears you!.!.!.He is everywhere!.!.!.He's in the chruch!.!.!.He's on the sidewalk!.!.!.He's everywhere"

Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"

The prist replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"

Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"


Little Johnny's father asked him, "Do you know about the birds and the bees!?"

"I don't want to know!" little Johnny said, bursting into tears!.

Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong!.

"Oh dad," Little Johnny sobbed, "At age six I got the 'there's no Santa' speech!. At age seven I got the 'there's no Easter bunny' speech!. Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's no tooth fairy' speech! If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really ****, I've got nothing left to live for!"


The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today!. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it!."

Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework!."

The teacher says, "Very good, Claude!."

Mary says, "The sky is very dark!.!.!. perhaps it's going to rain!." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary!."

She calls on Little Johnny in the back!.

Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles!. Perhaps they were gonna pee on the piano!."Www@Enter-QA@Com



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