Does anyone know any very funny jokes?!
Question: Does anyone know any very funny jokes!?
Plz keep it clean!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money!."
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!"
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
enjoyWww@Enter-QA@Com
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!"
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
enjoyWww@Enter-QA@Com
Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to the same meeting!. At the station, the lawyers each buy a ticket but the engineers buy just one!. When asked why, the engineers coyly said "You'll see!."
They all board the train, the lawyers taking seats, but the three engineers all crowding into the bathroom!. After the train has left, the conductor comes around and takes the lawyers tickets and knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket Please!." An arm stretches out from the bathroom and the conductor takes the proffered ticket!. The lawyers were very impressed!.
On the return trip, the lawyers proposed to emulate the gearheads and bought only one ticket!. To their amazement, the engineers bought no ticket at all!. When asked, the engineers said, "You'll see!."
All board the train and the lawyers and engineers cram into separate bathrooms to await the conductor!.
After a few minutes, one of the gearheads emerges from the bathroom, goes over to the lawyers' bathroom, knocks on the door and says: "Ticket please!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
They all board the train, the lawyers taking seats, but the three engineers all crowding into the bathroom!. After the train has left, the conductor comes around and takes the lawyers tickets and knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket Please!." An arm stretches out from the bathroom and the conductor takes the proffered ticket!. The lawyers were very impressed!.
On the return trip, the lawyers proposed to emulate the gearheads and bought only one ticket!. To their amazement, the engineers bought no ticket at all!. When asked, the engineers said, "You'll see!."
All board the train and the lawyers and engineers cram into separate bathrooms to await the conductor!.
After a few minutes, one of the gearheads emerges from the bathroom, goes over to the lawyers' bathroom, knocks on the door and says: "Ticket please!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
a 7 year old boy was at a pedestrians office and the pediatrician asked if u could have anything Wat would u have!. the little boy answered Tampax without hesitation!. surprised the pedestrian asked why!. well the little boy said on t!.v it say with Tampax you could go swimming,horseback riding and hiking anytime u want toWww@Enter-QA@Com
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Lots!
Alright so there are 2 guys walking in the woods and they hear a gun shot one guy drops down and the other one starts screaming, then he calls 911 and the operator says okay first we have to make sure he is dead, and then there is a long silence on the phone and another gun shot finally the guy picks up the phone and says what next!?
so there are 3 guys lost in a woods and they get caputured by native cannabals they take them to the cannabel king and he says go out into the woods and bring me back 10 fruits, each of you so they all go out and the first one finds 10 apples and goes back the cannabal king says you must shove all 10 apples up your butt with no facial expressions or noise so he tries the 1st one but he screams in pain, so they eat him then the next guy comes back with grapes and he is told the same thing and he is flying 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 and he is on the last one when he starts bursts out laughing so he gets ate then the apple guy is talkin to the grape guy up in heaven and says y did you start laughing you could have lived and he said i kno but i saw the 3rd guy coming in with pinnaple
a man walks into a bar with a cloth over his face and it falls off right as he walks in so he quickly picks it up and covers his face then he goes up to the closest guy and asks do u see my face!!!? uhh yea!? so then he shoots him and he goes up to the 2nd guy "Did u see my face!?!?!!!?" "yes" and he shoots him too then he goes up to the 3rd guy and says "DID YOU SEE MY FACE!!!?!" "no, but my wife did"
there is this guy and he gets 3 wishes, but his ex-wife gets twice that, so he wishes for i million dollars, and the genie says okay but your wife gets 2 million, yea yea i kno
so for the 2nd wish he wishes for a mansion alright now your ex gets 2, i kno i kno, so then for his last wish he thinks longggg and hard he says beat me, beat me half to deathWww@Enter-QA@Com
Alright so there are 2 guys walking in the woods and they hear a gun shot one guy drops down and the other one starts screaming, then he calls 911 and the operator says okay first we have to make sure he is dead, and then there is a long silence on the phone and another gun shot finally the guy picks up the phone and says what next!?
so there are 3 guys lost in a woods and they get caputured by native cannabals they take them to the cannabel king and he says go out into the woods and bring me back 10 fruits, each of you so they all go out and the first one finds 10 apples and goes back the cannabal king says you must shove all 10 apples up your butt with no facial expressions or noise so he tries the 1st one but he screams in pain, so they eat him then the next guy comes back with grapes and he is told the same thing and he is flying 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 and he is on the last one when he starts bursts out laughing so he gets ate then the apple guy is talkin to the grape guy up in heaven and says y did you start laughing you could have lived and he said i kno but i saw the 3rd guy coming in with pinnaple
a man walks into a bar with a cloth over his face and it falls off right as he walks in so he quickly picks it up and covers his face then he goes up to the closest guy and asks do u see my face!!!? uhh yea!? so then he shoots him and he goes up to the 2nd guy "Did u see my face!?!?!!!?" "yes" and he shoots him too then he goes up to the 3rd guy and says "DID YOU SEE MY FACE!!!?!" "no, but my wife did"
there is this guy and he gets 3 wishes, but his ex-wife gets twice that, so he wishes for i million dollars, and the genie says okay but your wife gets 2 million, yea yea i kno
so for the 2nd wish he wishes for a mansion alright now your ex gets 2, i kno i kno, so then for his last wish he thinks longggg and hard he says beat me, beat me half to deathWww@Enter-QA@Com
How do u know when your to drunk to drive!? When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshenerWww@Enter-QA@Com
www!.coolfunnyjokes!.comWww@Enter-QA@Com
a man walks into a bar!.!.!.!. ouchWww@Enter-QA@Com