Can someone make me laugh?!?!
Question: Can someone make me laugh!?!!?
Someone tell me a joke and try to make me laugh!.
No links to other webpages!Www@Enter-QA@Com
No links to other webpages!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A blonde calls up a airline, the girl on the other line says "hi, how can I help you"!. The blonde said "How long is the flight from america to france"!. The girl on the other line said " Just a minute"!. The blonde said "ok thanks, bye"Www@Enter-QA@Com
did you hear about the man w/ 2 left feet!?!?!?
he went into the shoe store and asked the sales man if he had any flip-flips!.
"i see!" said the blind man as the dog peed in the wind, "its all coming back to me now!"
(ok, its not a joke but!.!.!.)
"mamma mamma! i keep running around in circles!"
"shut up jimmy, or i'll nail your other shoe to the floor!"
how do you kill a dumb blonde!?
you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building!.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said,
'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building!.'
The Mexican opened his lunch box and Exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too!.'
The blonde opened his lunch and said, 'Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too!.'
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death!.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too!.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well!.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping!. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much!.'
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife!. The blonde's wife said,
'Don't look at me!. He makes his own lunch!.'
the end!Www@Enter-QA@Com
he went into the shoe store and asked the sales man if he had any flip-flips!.
"i see!" said the blind man as the dog peed in the wind, "its all coming back to me now!"
(ok, its not a joke but!.!.!.)
"mamma mamma! i keep running around in circles!"
"shut up jimmy, or i'll nail your other shoe to the floor!"
how do you kill a dumb blonde!?
you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building!.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said,
'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building!.'
The Mexican opened his lunch box and Exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too!.'
The blonde opened his lunch and said, 'Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too!.'
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death!.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too!.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well!.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping!. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much!.'
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife!. The blonde's wife said,
'Don't look at me!. He makes his own lunch!.'
the end!Www@Enter-QA@Com
alright !.!.!. here we go !.!.!.
Teacher:- "Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line!. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them!. How many are left!?"
Little Johnny:- "None Miss"!.
Teacher:- "Could you tell me why!?"
Little Johnny:- "Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away"!.
Teacher:- "Well, the answer I was looking for was four!. But I like your thinking!."
Little Johnny:- "Miss, while were asking questions, could I ask you one!?"
Teacher:- "Its a bit irregular, but go on then"
Little Johnny:- "There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies!. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth!. Which one is married!?"
Teacher (rather embarrassed):- "Err!.!.!. I suppose it was the last one!."
Little Johnny:- "Well Id have said the one with the wedding ring!. But I like your thinking!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Teacher:- "Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line!. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them!. How many are left!?"
Little Johnny:- "None Miss"!.
Teacher:- "Could you tell me why!?"
Little Johnny:- "Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away"!.
Teacher:- "Well, the answer I was looking for was four!. But I like your thinking!."
Little Johnny:- "Miss, while were asking questions, could I ask you one!?"
Teacher:- "Its a bit irregular, but go on then"
Little Johnny:- "There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies!. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth!. Which one is married!?"
Teacher (rather embarrassed):- "Err!.!.!. I suppose it was the last one!."
Little Johnny:- "Well Id have said the one with the wedding ring!. But I like your thinking!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Little Jimmy was playing outside on day when he found a condom!.!. he took it to his dad and said " Daddy, what's this!?" "Thats a cookie son" said Jimmy's Dad
A few minutes later Little Jimmy was coughing and Little Jimmy's dad said "I didn't tell you to eat the cookie son"
"I didn't daddy, I ate the cream around the outside," said JimmyWww@Enter-QA@Com
A few minutes later Little Jimmy was coughing and Little Jimmy's dad said "I didn't tell you to eat the cookie son"
"I didn't daddy, I ate the cream around the outside," said JimmyWww@Enter-QA@Com
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Karate dog!.!?
Harold's new job had him working really late!. He decides to get his wife a watchdog!. He goes to the pet store and asks for a doberman!.
The employee said, "If its a guard dog you want I have a dog just for you!." The man walks to the back of the store to get a dog and comes back with a little poodle!.
Harold says, "This small thing, a watch dog!? You're kidding, right!?"
The employee says, "No, this dog is special; he knows karate!."
"Karate!? I don't believe it," Harold says!.
The employee puts the dog down and says, "Karate the sign!." And he points to a sign advertising dog food!. The dog runs up and rips the sign to shreds!. Harold is amazed at this!.
The employee then says, "Karate the chair!." And he points to a chair in the corner!. The dog runs up and rips the chair to shreds!. By now Harold is convinced!.
"I'll take him," he says!.
When he gets home he surprises his wife and she yells out, "This little thing, a watch dog!? No way!." Harold says, "But this dog knows karate!."
"Karate," she yells!. "Karate my ***!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Harold's new job had him working really late!. He decides to get his wife a watchdog!. He goes to the pet store and asks for a doberman!.
The employee said, "If its a guard dog you want I have a dog just for you!." The man walks to the back of the store to get a dog and comes back with a little poodle!.
Harold says, "This small thing, a watch dog!? You're kidding, right!?"
The employee says, "No, this dog is special; he knows karate!."
"Karate!? I don't believe it," Harold says!.
The employee puts the dog down and says, "Karate the sign!." And he points to a sign advertising dog food!. The dog runs up and rips the sign to shreds!. Harold is amazed at this!.
The employee then says, "Karate the chair!." And he points to a chair in the corner!. The dog runs up and rips the chair to shreds!. By now Harold is convinced!.
"I'll take him," he says!.
When he gets home he surprises his wife and she yells out, "This little thing, a watch dog!? No way!." Harold says, "But this dog knows karate!."
"Karate," she yells!. "Karate my ***!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!. what is a tree's favorite drink!?
ROOT BEAR
2!. what did the wave say to the person
NOTHING IT JUST WAVED
3!.What did one candy say to the other candy
WE WERE MINT FOR EACHOTHERWww@Enter-QA@Com
ROOT BEAR
2!. what did the wave say to the person
NOTHING IT JUST WAVED
3!.What did one candy say to the other candy
WE WERE MINT FOR EACHOTHERWww@Enter-QA@Com