What's your favorite joke? write them here! :)?!
Question: What's your favorite joke!? write them here! :)!?
10 pts for the person with the most hilarious joke! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood!. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do!.
"Well, you can paint my porch!. How much will you charge!?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars!?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage!. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house!?"
The man replied, "She should!. She was standing on the porch!."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money!.
"You're finished already!?" he asked!. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats!. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50!. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari!."
Yo mama so fat, the whales sing
Yo mamma's so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang "We are family!"
cliff jump
A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time!. Which made it to the ground first!?
The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions!.
Elevator Magic
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City!. One day, the father took his son into a large building!. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby!. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw!?"
The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life!. I don't know what it is!"
While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button!. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room!. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up!. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction!. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out!.
The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"
the funniest blonde joke
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
* she called me to get my phone number!.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate!."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind!.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it!.
*she tried to drown a fish!.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund!.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!.
*she tripped over a cordless phone!.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store!.
*she studied for a blood test!.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats!.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved!.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead!.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went homeWww@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood!. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do!.
"Well, you can paint my porch!. How much will you charge!?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars!?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage!. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house!?"
The man replied, "She should!. She was standing on the porch!."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money!.
"You're finished already!?" he asked!. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats!. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50!. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari!."
Yo mama so fat, the whales sing
Yo mamma's so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang "We are family!"
cliff jump
A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time!. Which made it to the ground first!?
The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions!.
Elevator Magic
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City!. One day, the father took his son into a large building!. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby!. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw!?"
The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life!. I don't know what it is!"
While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button!. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room!. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up!. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction!. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out!.
The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"
the funniest blonde joke
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
* she called me to get my phone number!.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate!."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind!.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it!.
*she tried to drown a fish!.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund!.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!.
*she tripped over a cordless phone!.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store!.
*she studied for a blood test!.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats!.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved!.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead!.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went homeWww@Enter-QA@Com
Annoying Things to do with research papers
-If assigned a 2000-word paper, draw two pictures of what the paper was supposed to be about!. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right!?
-Perfume the paper with catnip!. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it!.
-Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over the professor's door!.
-Refer to all prominant historical figures by nicknames!. For example, call George Washington "Georgie"!. Call Ben Franklin "Sparky"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
-If assigned a 2000-word paper, draw two pictures of what the paper was supposed to be about!. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right!?
-Perfume the paper with catnip!. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it!.
-Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over the professor's door!.
-Refer to all prominant historical figures by nicknames!. For example, call George Washington "Georgie"!. Call Ben Franklin "Sparky"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do michael jackson and mcdonalds have in common!?
they both put their meat between 12 year old buns!.
what do michael jackson and a ps2 have in common!?
little boys turn them on!.
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!
:)Www@Enter-QA@Com
they both put their meat between 12 year old buns!.
what do michael jackson and a ps2 have in common!?
little boys turn them on!.
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!
:)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Not and keep an acct!. here !Www@Enter-QA@Com