What's the best joke you remember/made up?!
Question: What's the best joke you remember/made up!?
Tell the joke and the punchline, or if it doesn't have one, just the regular joke!. And if you know the best one you have is really really really bad!.!.!.
Then it's not the best!
To tell if it's the best, tell someone you know the joke and if they don't react/fake laugh/cringe/stare at you, it's not a good one!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Then it's not the best!
To tell if it's the best, tell someone you know the joke and if they don't react/fake laugh/cringe/stare at you, it's not a good one!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Well, there are three jokes that I like:
1st:
A guy is walking down a sidewalk when he hears a group of people chanting "thirteen!, thirteen!, thirteen!"!. He notices that it is coming from a building surrounded by a tall wooden fence!. He tries to look over but the fence is too high!. He finds a small hole and looks through it!. He sees a group of old people gathered in a circle chanting, "thirteen!, thirteen!, thirteen!"!.Then all of a sudden a finger comes through the hole and pokes him in the eye!. The group of old people then yell out, "fourteen!, fourteen!, fourteen!"
I think I heard this joke on this website!.
2nd:
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk!. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk!. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969!." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back!."
3rd:
One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an airplane!. When he jumped there was good and bad news!.!.!.
Good News: He had a parachute!.
Bad News: It didn't work!.
Good News: There was a haystack down below!.
Bad News: There was a pitchfork in the haystack!.
Good News: He missed the pitchfork!.
Bad News: He missed the haystack!.
Some other stuff:
What's invisible and smells like carrots!?
Bunny Farts!
How many employees does it take to screw in a light bulb!?
10000: One to hold up the light bulb, and 9999 to turn the building around!.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree!?
It was dead!.
How do you know if you're getting old!?
1: Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!.
2: You join a health club and don't go!.
3: You look forward to a dull evening!.
4: You need glasses to find your glasses
5: You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going!.
6: Your back goes out more than you do!.
7: You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there!.
How to annoy Santa Claus:
While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire!.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!.
Hope I made you laugh!. ;)Www@Enter-QA@Com
1st:
A guy is walking down a sidewalk when he hears a group of people chanting "thirteen!, thirteen!, thirteen!"!. He notices that it is coming from a building surrounded by a tall wooden fence!. He tries to look over but the fence is too high!. He finds a small hole and looks through it!. He sees a group of old people gathered in a circle chanting, "thirteen!, thirteen!, thirteen!"!.Then all of a sudden a finger comes through the hole and pokes him in the eye!. The group of old people then yell out, "fourteen!, fourteen!, fourteen!"
I think I heard this joke on this website!.
2nd:
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk!. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk!. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969!." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back!."
3rd:
One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an airplane!. When he jumped there was good and bad news!.!.!.
Good News: He had a parachute!.
Bad News: It didn't work!.
Good News: There was a haystack down below!.
Bad News: There was a pitchfork in the haystack!.
Good News: He missed the pitchfork!.
Bad News: He missed the haystack!.
Some other stuff:
What's invisible and smells like carrots!?
Bunny Farts!
How many employees does it take to screw in a light bulb!?
10000: One to hold up the light bulb, and 9999 to turn the building around!.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree!?
It was dead!.
How do you know if you're getting old!?
1: Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!.
2: You join a health club and don't go!.
3: You look forward to a dull evening!.
4: You need glasses to find your glasses
5: You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going!.
6: Your back goes out more than you do!.
7: You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there!.
How to annoy Santa Claus:
While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire!.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!.
Hope I made you laugh!. ;)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Here's one at the top of my head: you've probably heard it before though!.
A girl was wearing a skirt and she was walking home!. She came to a pole with a guy next to it!. The guy offered her money to climb the pole, so she did it!. And she came down and went home!. She told her mother and her mother said, "dont ever do that again, they just do that to see your underwear!." The next day, she met the same guy and climbed up the pole again for money!. She went home and told her mother, the girl said, "Mother, I climbed up the pole today, again, but I outsmarted him, I didn't wear underwear this time!."
An old couple were sitting in church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her!. She leaned across to her husband and whispered,
"I've just let out a silent fart!. What do you think I should do!?"
He said,"I think you should get batteries for your hearing aid!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A girl was wearing a skirt and she was walking home!. She came to a pole with a guy next to it!. The guy offered her money to climb the pole, so she did it!. And she came down and went home!. She told her mother and her mother said, "dont ever do that again, they just do that to see your underwear!." The next day, she met the same guy and climbed up the pole again for money!. She went home and told her mother, the girl said, "Mother, I climbed up the pole today, again, but I outsmarted him, I didn't wear underwear this time!."
An old couple were sitting in church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her!. She leaned across to her husband and whispered,
"I've just let out a silent fart!. What do you think I should do!?"
He said,"I think you should get batteries for your hearing aid!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
YOU'RE MOMMA'S LIKE A STAMP YOU LIKE HER,STICK HER THEN YOU SEND HER AWAY!
YOU'RE MOMMA'S LIKE A GOLFCOURSE CUZ EVERYONE GETS A HOLE IN ONE!
YOU'RE MOMMA'S LIKE A BOWLING BALL SHE GETS PICKED UP,FINGERED,THROWN INTO THE GUTTER,YET SHE STILL COMES BACK FOR MORE!
YOU'RE MOMMA'S SO HAIRY THAT WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU, YOU ALMOST DIED OF RUGBURN!
YOU'RE MOMMA'S LIKE A GUMBALL MACHINE 25 CENTS PER BLOW!Www@Enter-QA@Com
YOU'RE MOMMA'S LIKE A GOLFCOURSE CUZ EVERYONE GETS A HOLE IN ONE!
YOU'RE MOMMA'S LIKE A BOWLING BALL SHE GETS PICKED UP,FINGERED,THROWN INTO THE GUTTER,YET SHE STILL COMES BACK FOR MORE!
YOU'RE MOMMA'S SO HAIRY THAT WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU, YOU ALMOST DIED OF RUGBURN!
YOU'RE MOMMA'S LIKE A GUMBALL MACHINE 25 CENTS PER BLOW!Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do you call a deer with no eye!? {in a red neck accent}
I have no idea!.!.!.!. {eye deer}!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I have no idea!.!.!.!. {eye deer}!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After to rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.!.!.
this guy tells the bartender"see that douche bag over there sitting by herself!.!.!.send her a drink and say its from me"!.!.The bartender says to him"hey!.!.!.if u wanna buy that lady a drink,show respect!.!.!.thats no way to talk to a lady"!. The guy says"I dont care what you say!.!.!.send the douche bag a drink!."So the bartender says"nevermind im not gonna agrue with you!." So the bartender goes up to the lady and says"See that guy sitting over there,he wants to buy you a drink!.What kind of drink would you like!?" So the lady says to the bartender"Sure ill have a vinegar and water,please and thanks!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.!.!.
this guy tells the bartender"see that douche bag over there sitting by herself!.!.!.send her a drink and say its from me"!.!.The bartender says to him"hey!.!.!.if u wanna buy that lady a drink,show respect!.!.!.thats no way to talk to a lady"!. The guy says"I dont care what you say!.!.!.send the douche bag a drink!."So the bartender says"nevermind im not gonna agrue with you!." So the bartender goes up to the lady and says"See that guy sitting over there,he wants to buy you a drink!.What kind of drink would you like!?" So the lady says to the bartender"Sure ill have a vinegar and water,please and thanks!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com