Jokes...help!!!!?!
Question: Jokes!.!.!.help!!!!!?
i need a joke for mothers day!.!.!.im making a card and im not very funny so i need a joke for the card!.!.!.please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thnx!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
heres one :
You Know You're A Mom When!.!.!.
Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor!.!.!.!.!. and you don't care!.
When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a
room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding!.
You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to
call you, and you run around the house madly, following the
sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket!.
Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you!.
Popsicles become a food staple!.
Your favorite television show is a cartoon!.
You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on!.
You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill
your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
Spit is your number one cleaning agent!.
You buy cereal with marshmallows in it!.
You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal!.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time!.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone!.
Your kid throws up and you catch it!.
You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; but your
child chews his toast into the shape of a gun anyway!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
You Know You're A Mom When!.!.!.
Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor!.!.!.!.!. and you don't care!.
When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a
room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding!.
You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to
call you, and you run around the house madly, following the
sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket!.
Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you!.
Popsicles become a food staple!.
Your favorite television show is a cartoon!.
You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on!.
You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill
your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
Spit is your number one cleaning agent!.
You buy cereal with marshmallows in it!.
You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal!.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time!.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone!.
Your kid throws up and you catch it!.
You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; but your
child chews his toast into the shape of a gun anyway!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There were 3 people running from the cops!.
the first was a redhead, the second brunette, and the third a blonde!.
they ran into a barn and jumped into potatoe sacks!.
the cop ran in the barn and kicked the first sack, the redhead said, "meow, meow!." and the cop said, "oh, great, kittens!." he kicked the second sack and the brunette said, "woof! woof!" and the cop said, "oh great, puppies" then, the cop kicked the third sack and the blonde said, "potatoes, potatoes!"
lol!. works great if your moms a blonde!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
the first was a redhead, the second brunette, and the third a blonde!.
they ran into a barn and jumped into potatoe sacks!.
the cop ran in the barn and kicked the first sack, the redhead said, "meow, meow!." and the cop said, "oh, great, kittens!." he kicked the second sack and the brunette said, "woof! woof!" and the cop said, "oh great, puppies" then, the cop kicked the third sack and the blonde said, "potatoes, potatoes!"
lol!. works great if your moms a blonde!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
My Mother Taught Me!.!.!.!.
To Value A Job Well Done
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside!. I just finished cleaning!."
Time Travel
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
Logic
"Because I said so, that's why!."
Foresight
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident!."
Irony
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!."
Osmosis
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!."
Stamina
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!."
Weather
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it!."
Hypocrisy
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times!. Don't exaggerate!"
Circle Of Life
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!."
Behavior Modification
"Stop acting like your father!"
Envy
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!."
Anticipation
"Just wait until we get home!."
Receiving
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
Medical Science
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way!."
How To Become An Adult
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up!."
Genetics
"You're just like your father!."
Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand!."
Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"Www@Enter-QA@Com
To Value A Job Well Done
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside!. I just finished cleaning!."
Time Travel
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
Logic
"Because I said so, that's why!."
Foresight
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident!."
Irony
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!."
Osmosis
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!."
Stamina
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!."
Weather
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it!."
Hypocrisy
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times!. Don't exaggerate!"
Circle Of Life
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!."
Behavior Modification
"Stop acting like your father!"
Envy
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!."
Anticipation
"Just wait until we get home!."
Receiving
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
Medical Science
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way!."
How To Become An Adult
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up!."
Genetics
"You're just like your father!."
Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand!."
Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"Www@Enter-QA@Com
My mother, oh so fond of her I am
My mother, love her to bits whenever i can
My mother, always there for me
My mother, the reason i am free
Her heart so tough like gold
My dear mother is getting old
Soon i would have to take care of you
Cause mummy!.!.!. without you i feel so blueWww@Enter-QA@Com
My mother, love her to bits whenever i can
My mother, always there for me
My mother, the reason i am free
Her heart so tough like gold
My dear mother is getting old
Soon i would have to take care of you
Cause mummy!.!.!. without you i feel so blueWww@Enter-QA@Com
ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I SMELL LIKE *** AND SO DO YOU!Www@Enter-QA@Com