How many times did u call in sick?wut was ur silliest reason?!


Question: How many times did u call in sick!?wut was ur silliest reason!?
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable!. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying!. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating!. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day!. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown!.

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty!. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen!. "Ed! the garbage disposal is dead!. Come reset it!."

You know where the button is!." I protested through the shower (pitter- patter)!. "Reset it yourself!"

"I am scared!" She pleaded!. "What if it starts going and sucks me in!?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second!."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence!.

I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button!. It is the last action I remember performing!. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances!. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth!. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs!. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink!.

At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws!.

Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements!. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed!. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step manner!.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome!. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option!.

Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed!. It was a dismal irony!. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far!. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold!.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me!. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter!.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me!. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk!. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue!?"

If they had only known!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him!.
"What's the story this time, Jones!?" he asked sarcastically!. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change!."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss!. The wife decided to drive me to the station!. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck!. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river -- look, my suit's still damp -- ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr!. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes!."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed!. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

ooooooouuuuuuuuuccccccccchhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!.!.!. I couldn't come up with a better one!. The story was long but captivating!. I really enjoyed it!. starWww@Enter-QA@Com

That is excellent, I haven't called in with this excuse but there are a lot of mornings I would rather stay in bed and put in a bit of 'overtime' at home!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

:D Seems convincing!. More than me!Www@Enter-QA@Com

lol i once rang in and said i had trench foot!! lol i said i fell in my bath with my trainers on!! i was only 17 at the time!! lol

when i was at school i told the teacher a gofer ran away with my shoes and i had to wear trainers in stead!!

lol i dont think ive ever come up with a normal reason!! oh well live and let live!!
xxkimxxWww@Enter-QA@Com

A guy phones in work one day and his boss answers
"I won't be in today!.!.I'm sick"
"what do you mean sick!?" the boss replies
"you know, sick" the guy says
"you cant just say that; how sick are you!?" The boss demands
"well I'm in bed with my mother"Www@Enter-QA@Com



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