Blond Jokes!!!?!
Question: Blond Jokes!!!!?
Two blondes lock thier keys in the car!. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches!.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down"!.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back!?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"!.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat!?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car!.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet!?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills!.
Q: Why did God create blondes!?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge
Q: Why did God create brunettes!?
A: Neither could the blondes
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears!?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch!?
A: To turn the blinker off
Star if you liked these!. Try to beat them 10 pts 2 whoever can!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down"!.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back!?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"!.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat!?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car!.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet!?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills!.
Q: Why did God create blondes!?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge
Q: Why did God create brunettes!?
A: Neither could the blondes
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears!?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch!?
A: To turn the blinker off
Star if you liked these!. Try to beat them 10 pts 2 whoever can!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Three pregnant women are are sitting in a circle talking about their pregnancy!.
The first is brunette and says "I'm going to have a baby boy"
The second who is a red head says "how do you know that!?"
the brunette says "because when we did it he was on top"
the red head says " I'm going to have a girl"
The third girl who is blonde says "how do you know that!?"
The red head replies "because when we did it i was on top"
The blonde starts laughing hysterically and the girls ask what is so funny
the bolnde says "I'm going to have puppies!"
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane!. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence!. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50!.00!. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted!.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star!?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5!. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs!?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled!. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer!. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50!.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question!?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5!.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox!. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house!. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again!. Angrily, back into the house she went!.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever!.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong!?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident!. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived!.
"My God!" the trooper gasped!. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant!. Are you OK ma'am!?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped!.
"Well, how in the world did this happen!?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car!.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began!. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me!. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was !.!.!.!."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles!. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The first is brunette and says "I'm going to have a baby boy"
The second who is a red head says "how do you know that!?"
the brunette says "because when we did it he was on top"
the red head says " I'm going to have a girl"
The third girl who is blonde says "how do you know that!?"
The red head replies "because when we did it i was on top"
The blonde starts laughing hysterically and the girls ask what is so funny
the bolnde says "I'm going to have puppies!"
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane!. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence!. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50!.00!. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted!.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star!?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5!. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs!?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled!. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer!. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50!.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question!?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5!.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox!. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house!. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again!. Angrily, back into the house she went!.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever!.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong!?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident!. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived!.
"My God!" the trooper gasped!. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant!. Are you OK ma'am!?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped!.
"Well, how in the world did this happen!?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car!.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began!. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me!. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was !.!.!.!."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles!. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
i dont get itWww@Enter-QA@Com
thats awesome!.!.!.!.heres my fav blond jokes
Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane!?
She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Did you hear about the blonde that was fired at the M&M company!?
They caught her throwing away all the W'S!.
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
why did the blonde stare so long at the can of frozen orange juice
cuz the can said concentrateWww@Enter-QA@Com
Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane!?
She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Did you hear about the blonde that was fired at the M&M company!?
They caught her throwing away all the W'S!.
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
why did the blonde stare so long at the can of frozen orange juice
cuz the can said concentrateWww@Enter-QA@Com
First of all, blondes take an awful beating!. I know a lot of air-headed brunettes and redheads!. And don't forget that us guys have our moments, too, regardless of hair color!. That being said, here goes, hope you enjoy:
Want to occupy a blond for hours!? Buy her some gift wrap, and then wrap it in the same kind of paper!.
A blond and her friend were walking in the park!. Her friend says, "Aw, look at the dead bird!." The blond looks up to the sky and says, "Where!?"
How do you get a one-armed blond out of a tree!? Wave to her!.
Why did the blond climb over the chain-linked fence!? She wanted to see what was on the other side!.
A blond coyote was caught in a trap!. She chewed off three legs, and was still stuck in the trap!.
What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you!? RUN, she has a grenade in her mouth!
Why were 17 blonds waiting in line outside a nightclub!? The sign said, Must Be 18 To Enter!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Want to occupy a blond for hours!? Buy her some gift wrap, and then wrap it in the same kind of paper!.
A blond and her friend were walking in the park!. Her friend says, "Aw, look at the dead bird!." The blond looks up to the sky and says, "Where!?"
How do you get a one-armed blond out of a tree!? Wave to her!.
Why did the blond climb over the chain-linked fence!? She wanted to see what was on the other side!.
A blond coyote was caught in a trap!. She chewed off three legs, and was still stuck in the trap!.
What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you!? RUN, she has a grenade in her mouth!
Why were 17 blonds waiting in line outside a nightclub!? The sign said, Must Be 18 To Enter!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do you call a blonde standing on her head!?
A brunette!.
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license!.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it!. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer!."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification!?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror!.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself!." The cop says, "Let me see it, then!." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A brunette!.
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license!.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it!. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer!."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification!?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror!.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself!." The cop says, "Let me see it, then!." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over!."Www@Enter-QA@Com