Jokes [10 points for the best jokes]?!


Question: Jokes [10 points for the best jokes]!?
any jokes will do blone mexican any kindWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Here's a few:

1!. A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde were causing a lot of problems around a farm!. The farmer eventually got fed up with it, so he got a gun and went outside to deal with it!. They each jumped into a potato sack, and then the farmer came over!. He kicked the first sack, which held the red-head!. Thinking quickly, the red-head said, "Woof woof!." Thinking it was a dog, the farmer said, "Ah, stupid dog!." Then he kicked the second sack, which held the brunette!. The brunette said, "Meow, meow!." The farmer said, "Stupid cat!." Then he came to the third sack, which had the blonde inside!. He kicked it, and the blonde said, "Potatoes!."

2!. A guy wanted to buy a horse, so he went to a horse dealership!. The owner had only one horse left, and explained that you had to say 'whoa' to make the horse go, and 'amen' to make him stop!. The guy decided to ride it around, so he got onto it and said, "whoa!." The horse began trotting, but the guy wanted to go faster, so he said 'whoa' again, and the horse went faster!. He wanted to go really fast, so he said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!." At this point the horse is moving at blinding speed, but then the guy notices he's heading towards a cliff!. He freaks out and forgets how to slow down the horse and says, "WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!" Then he finally remembers!. "AMEN!!!" he shouts!. He looks over the horse's head and over the edge of the cliff and says, "Wwwhhhoooaaaa!.!.!.!.!.!."

3!. Two guys, Bob and Bill, were out hunting when Bob accidently shoots Bill!. He immediately calls 911, and the operator answers!. "I just shot my friend," he shouted, "I think he's dead! What do I do!?" The operator tells him to remain calm and says, "Okay, first you have to make sure he's really dead!." Bob says 'okay' and then leaves the phone for a second!. The operator hears a loud 'BANG' then Bob comes back to the phone!. "Okay, what do I do next!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com

OK this is a real story but is funny anyway!.!.!.!.
i was doing it whit a girl and she likes anal sex well it was my first time doing it like that and i say OK let do it i was OMG this is so thight that i was ******* like possessed and screaming and sweating after a while!.!.sometimes the dick get out so a grab the big ****** thing and i put it back by hand and everything was OK after 5 minutes i was sweating like pig and suddenly i swept my forehead and going half way i smell sh*t it was the most disgusting smell in my life i ran to take a shower i don know what she ate!.!.!.!.it was so disgusting!.!.!. I never **** like that againWww@Enter-QA@Com

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it!.
"Impossible!" says the doctor!. "Show me!."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more!. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed!. Everywhere she touched made her scream!.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you!?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde!."
"I thought so," the doctor said!. "Your finger is broken!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

a math prof!. decides to cheat on his wife!. he gives her a fax that reads the following

"jill, you are 54 and can no longer satify me!. therefore i'm hooking up with my 18 year old teaching assitant!. love ben"

Jill reads the fax and decides to reply the following
"ben, you TOO are 54 years old and can no longe staisfy me!. therefore i am hooking up with the 18 year old pool boy!. by the way, as a math prof!. you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18"Www@Enter-QA@Com

A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint!.

The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this!? Come!. Run with me through the forest! You''ll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit!. Then they come across an elephant doing coke!.

So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this!? Think about your health!. Come!. Run with us through the pretty forest, you''ll see, you''ll feel so good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe!. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up!.

"Lion my friend, why do you do this!? Think about your health! Come!. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you''ll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit!.

The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this!? He was merely trying to help you!."

The Lion gets one more kick in and says, "Ah, that little nutter really makes me angry ; he always makes me run around the bloody woods when he's on Ecstasy!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

DUMB BLONDE JOKES

1) Q: Santa, The Easter Bunny, and a Smart Blonde find $50 in the street!. Who will get it!?

A: None of them! All of them aren't real


2) A blonde and Red head go out to a bar after work!. They were watching the 6:00 evening news on a man about to jump off the bridge!.

"I bet you $20 that the guy won't jump" said the Blonde!.

"O!.K" said the red head

As it turns out the man did jump!
"Here you go" said the blonde!.
"I can't take your money" said the red head!.
"A bet is a bet" said the Blonde!.
"I have to tell you the truth"said the red head, "I saw this on the Five o'clock news"

"So did I" said the blonde 'but I didn't think he was going to jump again!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak!.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done!.
The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass!. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip!.'
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice!.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink!.
He proceeded to talk up a storm!.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp!.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12!.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10!.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated!.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***!.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J!.C!.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook!.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the **** out of him!.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ***!.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T!.'
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'Take this and eat it for it is my body!.' He did not say 'Eat me'!.
12)The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'!.!.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God!.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St!. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St!. Taffy's!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

A man was approached by a lady of the night!.
She said 'I'm versatile!. I'll do whatever you want me to do!. Only £20!.00'
The man, said 'Great - can you come and wallpaper my lounge'

My husband laughs uproariously every time he tells this one (and boy, he tells this one a lot)Www@Enter-QA@Com

(a blonde goes to a library)
blonde: I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake!.
librarian: I'm sorry but this is a library!.
blonde: (whispers) oh I would like a cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

here's a couple of links !.!.
http://www!.blonde-jokes!.co!.uk/top-10-dum!.!.!.

http://www!.coolfunnyjokes!.com/
hope these make you laugh : )Www@Enter-QA@Com

Blonde!? Mexican!? Hey im mexican racist!. how about some dumb white guy jokes like you!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

are you racist!?!?!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

the 1st viagra baby was born - 12 lb, 6 inchesWww@Enter-QA@Com

oi u gay sh!t i aint mexican but ur still rasict u mudha fucka
U FUKKIN WASTE BROWww@Enter-QA@Com

The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."


2 grandmas were sitting in their rocking chairs on the porch,reminicing about the good ole days!.
One grandma says to the other grandma!.!.dear do you remeber the minuet (dance btw)!.!.!.she says darn!.!.!.i cant even remember the min i screwed never mind the min i et!


a flasher was going up to old ladies in a nursing home flashing!.!.!.they all had big strokes!.!.!.!.!.well he went up to one last lady!.!.!.!.poor old lady!.!.!.!.!.she couldnt reach it!


An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra!.

The pharmacist said, "That's no problem!. How many do you want!?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces!."

The pharmacist said "That won't do you any good!."

The elderly gentleman said "That's all right!. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I'm over 80 years old!. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes


Birth Control Pills
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office!. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills!." Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs!. Smith, but you're 75 years old!. What possible use could you have for birth control pills!?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better!." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep!?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night!."


Old Morris!?
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."


a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.!.!.


A couple had been married for 50 years!.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years!."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together!."

"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago!."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say!.!.!.should we get naked!?"

Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table!.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My breasts are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago!."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps!. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!


78-year-old man goes for a physical!. All of his tests come back with normal results!.



The doctor says, 'Bill, everything looks great!. How are you doing mentally and emotionally!. Are you at peace with God!?'



Bill replies, 'God and I are tight!. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the Bathroom, *poof *!, the light goes on!. When I'm done, *poof *!, the light goes off!.'



'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says!.



A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bills wife ,



'Joan , he says, 'Bill is fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God!. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof *!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof *! The light goes off!?'



'OH MY GOD!' Joan exclaims!.

'He's pi**ing in the fridge again!!!!


lmao thats funny!.!.!.thought you'd like this one too

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse!. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant!. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there!.

"But how will I let you know the baby is born!?" she asked!.

He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back!. I'll take care of expenses!." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy!.

Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means!."

The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you!."

Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack!. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room!. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife!. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest!.

So the wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs; two without!."



mothers have a day called mothers day, fathers have a day called fathers day so what day do Single men have!?

PALM DAY!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

are you racist
yea im mexican

but
here


Impossible final exams
Instructions: Read each question carefully!. Answer all questions!.
Time limit: 2 hours!. Begin immediately!.

Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel!. Skin tones should be true to life!.

Biology: Create life!. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System circa 1750!. Prove your thesis!.

Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table!. All necessary equipment has been provided!. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote!. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death!. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison!. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer!.)

Civil Engineering: This is a practical test of your design and building skills!. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will wupport your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid!.

Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language!. Using this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you!.

Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt!. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light!. Outline a method for preventing these effects!. Criticize this method from all possible points of view!. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question!.

Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout!. The electrical system has been tampered with!. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down!.

Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk!. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili!. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the room!. Take whatever action you feel necessary!. Be prepared to justify your decision!.

Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth!. Prove the validity of your stand!.

General Knowledge: Describe in detail!. Be objective and specific!.

History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its Europe, Asia, America and Africa!. Be brief, concise and specific!.

Mathematics: Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a straightedge and compass!. Discuss in detail the role these equations had on mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s!.

Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch!. Remove your appendix!. Do not suture until you work has been inspected!. You have fifteen minutes!.

Metaphysics: Describe in detail the probably nature of life after death!. Test your hypothesis!.

Music: Write a piano concerto!. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum!. You will find a piano under your seat!.

Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought!. Estimate its significance!. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought!.

Physchology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II, Hammuarabi!. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references!. It is not necessary to translate!.

Physics: Explain the nature of matter!. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science!.

Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you!. Start World War III!. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any!.

Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom!. Calm them!. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek!.

Religion: Perform a miracle!. Creativity will be judged!.

Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world!. Construct an experiment to test your theory!.

Extra Credit: Define the universe, and give three examples!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Why don't mexicans bbq!?

The beans fall through the little holes!.

Why can't mexicans be firemen!?

They can't tell the difference between jose and hose

How do you stop a Mexican tank!?

Shoot the guy pushing it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

i have a good one!
how are a guitar and a fish different!?
you can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
hahahahahaha :DWww@Enter-QA@Com

haha ok here who is a total freak, shaves her head, and is mean to her kids!.!.!.!.





Brittany Spears:)Www@Enter-QA@Com

Before you read this: I am not racist!.

Why do black people only have nightmares!?

We killed the only one with a dreamWww@Enter-QA@Com

How did the little boy break his leg raking leaves!?

He fell out of a tree!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

What is the difference between a duck!?!? One leg is the same!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

i have a good joke for you As a racist


white people smell like wet dogs!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

who killed soulja boy!?


yoooou

lOlWww@Enter-QA@Com

yo (wat) wat (wat) not uWww@Enter-QA@Com



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