Anyone know any jokes (that are good) that would help me be in the center of att!
Question: Anyone know any jokes (that are good) that would help me be in the center of attention!?
Please avoid jokes that are cliches!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A few of mine
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork!. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him!. “Don’t worry, son!. Your mother will come back!. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy!.”
The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job!. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies!.”
A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night!.
The baby stork says, “Nowhere!. Just scaring the **** out of college students!”
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago!. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago!. Red meat is awful!. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water!. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it!. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m referring to!? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea!.”
The man lowered his head and said, “Wedding cake!.”
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
A man in his 40’s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive!. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up!.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him!.
“There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further!. The needle hit 90, 100…!. Then the reality of the situation hit him!. “What the hell am I doing!?” he thought and pulled over!.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car!.
“It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th!. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go!.”
The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop!. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!.”
“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer!.
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
An sad, old man sitting was sitting on a park bench when along came a police officer!. The officer asked the old man why he was so upset!.
The old man replied, “Every morning I wake up with a wonderful 20 year old blonde!. She cooks great meals including sausage, and bacon and everything I love!. Then we make passionate love in bed!. Afterwards, she gives me a bath, with handdrawn hot water, cooks me lunch and followed by more passionate love!. In the evening, we’ll have top the day off with a fantastic diner and yet more wonderful love!.
The police officer gets a puzzled look on his face and asks, “Well, what seems to be the problem!?”
The old man replied with a sad look on his face, “I can’t remember where I live!”
If you like it 10 points pleaseWww@Enter-QA@Com
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork!. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him!. “Don’t worry, son!. Your mother will come back!. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy!.”
The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job!. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies!.”
A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night!.
The baby stork says, “Nowhere!. Just scaring the **** out of college students!”
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago!. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago!. Red meat is awful!. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water!. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it!. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m referring to!? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea!.”
The man lowered his head and said, “Wedding cake!.”
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
A man in his 40’s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive!. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up!.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him!.
“There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further!. The needle hit 90, 100…!. Then the reality of the situation hit him!. “What the hell am I doing!?” he thought and pulled over!.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car!.
“It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th!. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go!.”
The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop!. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!.”
“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer!.
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
An sad, old man sitting was sitting on a park bench when along came a police officer!. The officer asked the old man why he was so upset!.
The old man replied, “Every morning I wake up with a wonderful 20 year old blonde!. She cooks great meals including sausage, and bacon and everything I love!. Then we make passionate love in bed!. Afterwards, she gives me a bath, with handdrawn hot water, cooks me lunch and followed by more passionate love!. In the evening, we’ll have top the day off with a fantastic diner and yet more wonderful love!.
The police officer gets a puzzled look on his face and asks, “Well, what seems to be the problem!?”
The old man replied with a sad look on his face, “I can’t remember where I live!”
If you like it 10 points pleaseWww@Enter-QA@Com
Q: why shouldn't you ever take a pokemon with you to the bathroom
A: because it might Pickachu(peek at you)Www@Enter-QA@Com
A: because it might Pickachu(peek at you)Www@Enter-QA@Com
go to the jokes section on yahoo
or why did the chicken cross the road!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
or why did the chicken cross the road!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q: What's brown and sticky!?
A: A stick!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A: A stick!.Www@Enter-QA@Com