Funny Jokes for you
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer!. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had!.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India!. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me!. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us!. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled!. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself!."
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same!."
The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went ''''ROARRRR!''''"
After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft!. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then
the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight!. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor!.
Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers!.
By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement!.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire!.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough!.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft!.
P: Something loose in the cockpit!.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit!.
P: Dead bugs on windshield!.
S: Live bugs on backorder!.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent!.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground!.
P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear!.
S: Evidence removed!.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud!.
S: DME volume reset to a more believable level!.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick!.
S: That's what friction locks are for!.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode!.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode!.
P: Suspected crack in windshield!.
S: Suspect you're right!.
P: The number 3 engine is missing!.
S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search!.
P: Aircraft handles funny!. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious!.
P: Target radar hums!.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics!.
P: Mouse in cockpit!.
S: Cat installed!.
And the best one saved for last!.!.!.!.!.!.
P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel!. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer!.
S: Took hammer away from the midget!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India!. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me!. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us!. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled!. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself!."
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same!."
The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went ''''ROARRRR!''''"
After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft!. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then
the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight!. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor!.
Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers!.
By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement!.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire!.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough!.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft!.
P: Something loose in the cockpit!.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit!.
P: Dead bugs on windshield!.
S: Live bugs on backorder!.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent!.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground!.
P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear!.
S: Evidence removed!.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud!.
S: DME volume reset to a more believable level!.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick!.
S: That's what friction locks are for!.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode!.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode!.
P: Suspected crack in windshield!.
S: Suspect you're right!.
P: The number 3 engine is missing!.
S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search!.
P: Aircraft handles funny!. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious!.
P: Target radar hums!.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics!.
P: Mouse in cockpit!.
S: Cat installed!.
And the best one saved for last!.!.!.!.!.!.
P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel!. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer!.
S: Took hammer away from the midget!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Haha, best I've seen in a couple of days!. StarzWww@Enter-QA@Com
lol thats good!Www@Enter-QA@Com
very funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
very funny a little long but very funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com