WHAT do u think abt these????!
Question: If Bo Derek Married Don Ho...
* If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
* If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.
* If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.
* If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
* If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
* If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to
marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton- John Newton John.
* If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry
Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
* If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
* If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married
Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
* If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg
Pooh.
* How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou,
he'd be Boog Alou.
* If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him
to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.
* Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other
name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married
Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.
* If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar,
then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.
* If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory
Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
* If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar
(of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener
(mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
* If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then Mr. Lucky, then Martin
Short, then football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly
when we heard Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy
Answers: If Bo Derek Married Don Ho...
* If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
* If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.
* If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.
* If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
* If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
* If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to
marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton- John Newton John.
* If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry
Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
* If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
* If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married
Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
* If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg
Pooh.
* How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou,
he'd be Boog Alou.
* If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him
to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.
* Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other
name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married
Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.
* If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar,
then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.
* If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory
Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
* If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar
(of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener
(mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
* If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then Mr. Lucky, then Martin
Short, then football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly
when we heard Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy
those are good have a star.
After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman.
The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love.
He asked his wife to move out, with the understanding that he would buy her another place.
The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things.
The first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases.
The second day she had the movers come and collect her things.
The third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit dining room table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each room, and deposited a few of the resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned the kitchen and left.
The husband came back with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started, slowly but surely.
Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad.
They tried everything; they cleaned, mopped, and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in; the carpets were replaced, and on it went.
Finally,they couldn't take it any more, and decided to move.
The Moving Company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home...
...including the curtain rods.
thats bad if you have nothing better to do with your time then to make up things like these. Oh and by the way heres one for you "What is the opasite of left?"
Answer: Its not left your wronge
hey these are good! most of them anyway. very quirky.
Looks like Phyllis Diller had a big influence on you.
Ha ha ha ha..............
?????
got 2 b onest da first 1's were good ,den u started to beat a dead horse